Mark: What do you think of our outfits?
Person: They're interesting.
Mark: Yeah we're going dancing.
Person: Oh, dancing?
Mark:Yeah we're going dancing.
Person: You'll stand out
Mark: I know! That's the idea!
Tyler: Super stylish
Mark: We're gonna go find people that wanna dance randomly in the streets and we're just gonna dance
with 'em.
(Person laughs)
Mark: Like, that's the idea.
You wanna dance?
N- awww
Tyler: Ya sure?!
Mark: Are you sure?
Tyler: Aw, come on!
Mark: Awwww
Just- like a little bit?
Tyler: Come on!
Mark: No?!
(tyler laughs)
(Mark) Ohh okay.
(Dramatic music plays)
(beat drop)
(music fades away)
OH!
Hey I didn't see you there
How's it goin'?
Mah name is Markiplier
I'm uh-
ya know, a hip young
groovy guyyy
and I a...
enjoy a little bit of uh-
dancing
It's alllll in the shoulders
just get a lot a shoulder action going on
aannd they'll be swoonin'!!
I don't know who or what will be swoonin'
but they will
Oh hey
Ya come her often?
Oh
N- no?
Oh..
Hey!
What do ya think of dis DJ?
I like this-
(Music stops) that's rude
Alright
So I'm out of breath
Uhhm
I don't know if you're like me but
I don't like clubs.
I hate it
and this game is called Disco Discomfort
So..
It's supposed to simulate the awkward feeling of
being the only person not (chuckles) welcome at a club
So,
We're gonna go into
"Voir Disco Bar"
and
have a hip groovy time!
and it's really bizarre because those
those plants
or whatever
Eugh!
Eugh!!
Eug- oh hey!!
Oh ok
How did I get here?!
So yeah I don't know if this is going to be exactly
like all my previous experiences
Oh
See! I told you! It's all in the shoulders!
No hips, no legs, all in the shoulders!
try to be as flaily as possible!
Heeeyyyy!!
I'm here!
(disco music slows down)
Oh
(giggles)
Oh heeyy
How-how's it goinn?
Uhh..
I like the lady in the back just like:
slowly waving
like
Goodbye!!
If you could leave that'd be great!
Ohh boyy
Okay so if I...
(music speeds up as Mark leaves)
(giggles)
Oh ho okay
Oh that's how it's gonna be!
Okay so
Heyyy!
Oh yeah the party is here baybee!!!
(music slows)
I'm not gonna leave this time you are all just gonna stare at me!
Oh one in the corner
The lady in the bikini is still dancing her pants off
So that's pretty good
Oh
Hi...
How are you
Well you're having a good time
You don't seem to- eughh
oooh
Oooh boy
Oh ho ho no
Oh boyy
Oh gawd
Just the staring eyes
Hi...
Hi hows it goin
Are you going to flip all the way around
oh no you're not
Okay!
Oh! What about no neck over here?
Hey!
Are you havin' a- oooh
Uhh
EUGHUH
W- well! Oh oh gawd
There's so many of you
Oh there's a downstairs!
Oh! Hello lady!
What're you doin'?
Heh wh- whut?
Huh? WHUT?
HUH? WHUT?
HUHH? WHUUT?
HUH?? YA WANT SOME A DIS??
WHAT?
HAH???
WHATT?
HUAH??
Yeah that's what I thought.
I'll back off.. ok
Helloow
Would you c- would you- oh ok
Hello, evening officer.
Mah- M'lady
You look like you could use some company- oof
How are you standing on the edge of the seat like that?
You- you have strong ankles!
Maybe just a little too much blush.
Heyyy
HEY
How's it goin'?
Did anyone ever tell you that your nose is a little lopsided?
Uhh and also your eyelashes seem to be just pieces of plastic
stuck to your eyelids
No one to- oh ok
alright, well
How- How about you?
ma'am
Eugh that's a soultry look.
Ok. Oh! Sorry
Uhh
Lady, are you gonna
what?
huh
w-what? huh?
huh what?
huh?
What?? huh
HUH?
HUHH??
You want me to check up your NOSE??
HAH?
No I'm not gonna look down your shirt!
HAHH??
Your cleavage doesn't
impress me!!
alright fine then.
ok
but HOAH
fuacking
fuck
hoooly sh-shit
that legitimately scared me
am I interrupting something
Oh you're telling me what I need to do!
OH!
HMUAH!!
HMMMUAH
ok
alright then
I'm gonna leave now
oh hellow
you okay?
why am I so much taller than everybody?
hi
can I- can I
eugh
Helllloooo
Helllloooooooo
How're yooouuuuu doingggg
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
I think she's casting a very slow spell on me
Hello
whuuut
heh heh heh
whuuuuuut
Hey you guys gotta be in better sync than that
whauut
whuauaut
ok alright
you guys
you guys make me feel very unwelcome
can I get a drink and hopefully forget all these experiences
Hello?
Hi
Oh hi, don't mind me sir, ma'am, I don't know.
Hey you all have fun I'll be in the piano if you need me,
just ya know
hiding
I'm gonna try to go downstairs maybe there are friends down there
who could save me from this
Oh!
No!!!!!!!!!
Oh gawwd
Not boooobs!!
I'm not sure what's going on in this painting but
alright oh
why is that painting flickering
Oh! Saint Antony
bycusma
armageddon
zagaradme
atkivier
well
I'm assuming that's some sort of the developer
excuse me can I escape
to the bathroom for just a moment
ooh ooh
the hell just happened there?
what the hell?
I had a hand for a moment
oop
wha what why
why did I suddenly decide to heil hitler
oh
what the fuck
why is it, why is it so bright now?
wha what?
"click to touch the mirror"
oh
Ooooooohhhhhh
Well that's it??!!
I get so uncomfortable and then I have to click my reflection and then DIEE????!!
Is that what I'm supposed to understand here?
I don't think that's the entire experience here
Ya know what?
Who needs these fake people?
Who needs these digital interpretations of my childhood?
childhood- or my young adult life?
You know, the moments when I actually went to bars and clubs
and tried to do this whole deal
I don't need them because I got you guys!
So what I'm gonna do
literally right now
I'm gonna go outside and I'm going to find you guys and we're gonna have our own dance party
and we're gonna have a great ol' time!
HERE I GOOO!
*Snapping fingers* Get the boombox, get the boombox
Person holding camera: *grunts* boombox
Mark: Get the boombox
is it on?
play that shit
play it
play it, are ya playing it?
(Cool Patrol by Ninja Sex Party starts playing)
Mark: Do ya like to dance?
Girl: I have to dance?
What was that?
Girl: *Clearly* I have to dance?
Mark: Hell yeah
Girl: Oh my god
I can't believe I'm doing this
Marl: Well you're the first to show up
So congratulations
(Music abruptly stops)
Mark: What the f-
(Music starts back up)
(Fabric ripped)
Mark: Uh-oh, did I rip my pants?
Girl: I heard that, I heard that
Mark: No one heard anything
I've already had wardrobe malfunctions today
I don't need any more
Puppo, You have any questions for us?
No?
Pup?
(Cool Patrol plays more clearly) Danny Sexbang: Hey, I have an idea, let's kick it!
(Lyrics kick in)
(Music continues, quieter)
(Cool Patrol stops)
(Silence)
Mark: Yeahhh
(Quiet) Dancing with every-.....
Can I cut in?
(Cool Patrol resumes)
(Music stops)
(Pathetically) Dance like nobody's watching....
(Mark turns Cool Patrol back on)
(Tyler turns off music)
(clears throat)
I left my..
I left my phone in the car I'll-
I'll be right back.
(Cool Patrol starts)
(Mark panting, music stops)
You have beautiful eyes.
(sniff)
(Mumbles)
(fake cough)
Hey what's that?!
Hu-
(Cool Patrol starts again)
I'm having fun too
(Sad) Can we turn the- can we turn the camera off?