Look at that pretty girl.
Figured you hadn't met her, so I just
had her sit up in the chair.
She's gotten good at sitting in chairs now.
Oh, she's so good.
No, she's come such a long way, Justin.
She was in bad shape when you got her.
She looks beautiful.
Thank you.
OK, Justin.
I know a lot about you, but I don't know everything.
So we're going to play a game called,
can Justin throw me off the truth?
All right.
So Kuma's very excited about this game.
Three facts about you are going to pop up on the screen.
Two of them are lies, one will be real.
Twitch and I will have to guess which one is true.
All right, let's see what they are.
I wrote a play about hard-boiled eggs.
I got hit by a car in New York, while skateboarding and woke up
with amnesia.
I have a tattoo of my mom on my thigh.
Two of them are lies.
One is the truth.
And as I said, I know a lot about you,
but I know you have a lot of tattoos.
I don't think you have a tattoo of your mom on your thigh.
And if you had one I don't think it would be on your thigh.
Twitch, do you have a feeling about--
do you think he would write a play about hard-boiled eggs?
That's what I was leaning towards.
Yes, I think the one about hard-boiled eggs seems like--
I think it's so weird that it's trying to make
us think that that's it.
I think he actually got hit by a car,
because he would be skateboarding in New York.
He would do something like that.
And I think he'd get hit by a car.
OK.
Yes.
All right, I'm going to go with one.
You're going to go with the eggs?
I'm going to go with one.
You're going to go with one?
He's going to go with hard-boiled eggs, which
sounds like a fascinating play, by the way.
I mean, it is a fascinating play.
Hopefully it becomes a musical.
Twitch, I didn't write that play.
You didn't.
Unfortunately.
And so Ellen, you get to put one up on the scoreboard
for I got hit by a car and had amnesia.
You did?
Yes, that's a true story.
I got hit by--
I was skateboarding and I got-- it was actually a van--
but I got hit by a van and woke up with people all around me.
I clearly blacked out for I think a long time.
There was a woman over me weeping.
There were two men, gentleman holding my arms,
so I wouldn't touch my head.
And the woman was screaming at me
and she goes, who are you, what's
your name, what's your phone number,
trying to get me in touch with someone.
And it was as if someone had asked me what was an umbrella
and I forgot the name of umbrella but it was myself.
And I had no clue who I was.
And I didn't know--
I mean, I knew I was me, but I didn't know that I--
I couldn't remember my name and I couldn't
remember my phone number.
And then sort of a panic sets in.
And then gradually it started to come back,
and the ambulance-- this was kind of the New York hilarious
part of-- the ambulance took about an hour and 20 minutes
to get there.
And I was lying on the pavement just going--
and people are now kind of getting
bored with this guy who's got blood pouring out of his head.
And they were like, and I look up
and finally, the EMT shows up over me.
And all I see is sort of his face over me, looking at me.
And then he turns back to his partner, who I guess
is sort of still in the truck.
And he goes, he's not dead.
And it tells you that they were, they didn't rush,
because they just figured he's dead.
He's not going to be alive when we get there anyway.
And then later, when I'm in the ambulance going
to the hospital, the guy was like, yes, we
thought you were dead.
Sorry, we would have been a little quicker if we
knew that you were still alive.
That's hilarious.
Oh my God, did you have broken bones or anything?
What happened to you?
You know what, it got worse.
I had a concussion.
And then I went into the hospital that night.
And they had to keep me overnight for observation.
They gave me all these brain scans and things.
And then a guy wakes me up in the--
I forgot this part of the story-- the guy wakes me up
in the middle of the night.
And he says, we've got to get the doctor in here from Jersey.
We think we noticed something on your CAT scans.
It's like 2:00 in the morning.
And I go, well, what?
And so then they shaved my head and prepped me
for brain surgery.
And I go oh, OK.
And they make you sign all this paperwork that says you know--
I'm thinking I got to call somebody
like there's no one to call.
And so, I signed my life away on these papers
and the doctor finally gets their Jersey.
And he comes in, sort of rumpled hair,
and he looks at the CAT scans like, that's
just the thing with the scan.
It's not really blood on the brain.
And he's like go back to bed.
But I spent about half an hour there waiting,
just to go in to brain surgery.
With your head shaved.
But it was nothing.
Yes, with my head shaved.
I had a nice big bald patch.
Wow.
So a couple of stitches and discharged in the morning.
Glad you're OK and glad you didn't write
a play about hard-boiled eggs.
Justin, it's great seeing you.
I hope to see you soon.
The Mosquito Coast is available on Apple TV Plus.
We'll be back.
I love you, too.
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel,
so you can see more awesome videos, like videos
of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball peen hammer.
And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities,
if you're into that sort of thing.
God.