Today we're comin' in hot and ready for pizza.
Let's talk about that.
( theme music playing )
Good mythical morning.
Today we have a fantastic musical performance by Anthony Gonzalez
from the Pixar animated film "Coco,"
and a game of real or fake technology from "Black Mirror."
But first, today marks a very special episode
because we just surpassed 13 million subscribers.
- Whaaat? Thank you! - And to celebrate-- yes.
And to celebrate, we're having a pizza party, of course.
Yeah!
And also, while we're at it, we're gonna determine
which pizza chain makes the best pie.
It's time for...
As you can see, we can't.
Each slice that we will sample today
is gonna have pepperoni, sausage, onions, and peppers on it,
just so we have more things to try to differentiate.
We are going to see if we can identify
which chain they came from
as well as rate each of them on a scale of one to 10.
Yes, and the pizza chains we will be sampling from are
Pizza Hut, Dominos, Little Caesar's.
Papa John's, California Pizza Kitchen, and Sbarro.
- Whoa, ho-ho. - It's gonna be a good morning.
Yeah.
Both:
Slide it in.
All right, all the pizzas will be brought in
on the patent pending Mr. & Mrs. Pizza Rat Pizza Paddles.
- Yeah. - Congratulations, Mr. Rat, on your marriage.
And Mrs. Rat. I'm guessing you're somewhere over here.
He cashed in on his celebrity.
I knew it would happen.
Is it in here? Okay, I'm trying to--
okay, yep.
Hmm. Hmm.
- Hmm. - That's a thin one. That's a shallow pizza.
- Oh, gosh. - Did you get bit by the rat?
Yep. Now, we actually thought about
just using cheese pizza to go completely purist...
- But we're not children. - ...but we were like,
you gotta have some toppings because that's part of pizza.
- Mm-hmm. - Man, I don't know.
I don't think when I'm eating pizza.
I just eat, you know what I'm saying?
I've never thought to think while eating pizza.
Why think when eating pizza?
You've done all the thinking and you're a genius
because you've decided to eat pizza.
- Right, I think beforehand... - Right.
...and then I just go into the zone.
I go into the pizza zone.
Now, I do know that that's a shallow pizza.
Um, not too heavy on the cheese, in my experience.
So if we're to rate this thing on a scale
of one to 10 independently and then combine those scores,
um, I've--
you know, it's not the-- it's a little shallow for me.
It was not a good pizza, in my opinion.
I feel like I'm a pizza lover
and I would eat the crap out of that if it was the only thing around,
- Yeah. - but I'm gonna give this a--
I'm gonna give it a four.
That's what I was thinkin', too.
Ah, the four boys.
So, we're both giving them a four,
and, okay, I'm ready to guess.
- Yep. - Stevie: Okay, three, two, one.
- California Pizza Kitchen? - Little Caesar's.
- Both: Round two. - Rhett: Bring it.
( sighs )
- Oh, already better. - Oh, I'm smellin'...
I mean, the smell is better.
Chunkier ingredients.
Oh, man.
Very sausage forward.
( laughs )
- Which I... - Again, could be said of a number of things
- on this show. - ( laughs )
- Including the two hosts. - ( laughter )
That's a good pizza.
Well, honestly, all I can taste is sausage.
You complainin' about that?
I do like sausage.
- Um... - Mmm.
...yeah, I feel like I need another bite.
Can I get it back in?
That one is lacking the sauce that I desire.
So I think I'm demeriting it for lacking sauce.
It's a little thicker than the last one,
but I wouldn't describe it as thick, you know?
You ever eaten a slice of pizza backwards, Rhett?
- Hmm, uh, no, I don't do that. - That seems crazy.
I'm not friends with people who do that.
You're not wrong. It's not the most incredible pizza,
but it's so much better than the first one.
I want to go back and give the first one a lower score.
Well, you can't, but I don't think this one's that much better.
I'm giving it a five.
I'm giving it a six.
Oh, wow, okay.
Um, but what is it?
I-- man, that is really tough.
Uh, okay. I've-- I've got my guess.
- Yep. - Stevie: Okay, three, two, one.
- Sbarro. - Little Caesar's.
- Sbarro. - Did I guess Little Caesar's twice now?
- Yeah, just guess Little Caesar's every time. - All the time.
Both:
Let's keep eating pizza, shall we?
- Yeah! - Ha-ha, no losers today.
( gasps )
I-- you know, the thing is, they're so distinctly different,
like, the smell is so different.
Oh, my gosh.
What on earth has happened to this slice?
Oh.
- It's-- it's-- it's-- - Bring it back.
- It's nothing but crust to me. - Huh.
Ugh!
This is bad.
I mean, I'm giving this a one
because all I'm tasting is the bottom crust,
and it doesn't even taste great.
Hold on, is your pizza upside down? What happened?
I mean, it's not good. I'm on the same page,
but I'm not on page one.
- Is there cheese on it? - Yes.
There's no cheese on mine.
Add some cheese to mine, guys.
Boy, its off. It's got a off--
it has a off taste to it.
Yeah, it is off.
- Um... - Off the rocker.
Man, what is that?
It's like you scraped it off the floor of a food court.
- You know what I'm saying? - Yeah.
Well, it also has the sausage in the little cubes,
which I actually do think that that is from the food court.
I'm gonna give this one a four.
Whoa, you're generous, man.
And now-- are we both guessing Sbarro?
Yeah, I'm saying Sbarro 'cause I think I remember
that's what the sausage looks like.
- Sbarro. - Sbarro.
- Sucks. - Yeah.
Both:
All right, let's keep it going.
Why do you seem exasperated?
We're freakin' eating pizza on the Internet.
- Yeah, I know, it's great. - This is amazing.
- I love my job, I really do. - This is awesome.
- But I get stressed out about this... - We're friends.
...because I want to make the right choice for the people.
You're stressed.
You know, this is the work.
This is our legacy, Link.
This is what we're leaving behind for future generations.
"They determined what the best pizza was.
We should give 'em a gold medal."
This one, the green peppers really cut through.
Also, a thin pizza.
In my mind, the majority of these
were thicker in my mind than they are in my mouth.
Bring it back. There it is.
Uh...
I think we're into more traditional pizza territory now.
- You know, like... - It's starting to blend--
- It's starting to blend together. - Call 'em up.
Use your app. You don't even have to call them anymore.
Calling pizza places is for suckers and losers.
Because you can do it on the app.
You do it on the app, and then they tell you when they put it in the oven
and they tell you the name of the person who put it in the oven.
"Donovan just put your pizza in the oven."
- I'm like-- - Are you talking about Domino's here?
- Yeah. - You must be.
But they do that at other places, I'm sure.
I don't think this pizza's great.
I'm giving it--
I'm gonna give it a six.
- It's not bad either. - Um...
You know, I was in the same ballpark with you.
Well-balanced.
Um, I'm gonna say-- I'm going with a six as well
because I was thinking potentially seven,
but it's just not as good as I want it to be,
and I think pizza can be great.
So I'm gonna say six as well, but where is it from?
I think I know.
I think I've already guessed it. Twice.
You know what?
I think you might be right.
I'm saying Little Caesar's 'cause it hasn't done me wrong yet.
I'm saying Little Caesar's as well because I feel like this--
we got into pizza chains,
but we got into what I'm guessing is the worst pizza chain
that's, like-- that delivers the pizza to you.
They don't do that at Sbarro. I tried once.
Both:
( growling )
- Oh. - Oh, yeah, here we go.
- Finally, we got a tall pizza. - So distinct.
- That's what I been waiting for. - Mm. Oh.
- This is not Little Caesar's. - Oh, I know what this is.
That's good. That's good.
It's definitely either Papa John's or Pizza Hut.
- I know for a-- I would bet... - Bring it-- bring it in.
I would bet a lifetime's worth of pizza parties
that I'm right about this one.
And that I've been wrong
about two out of the three of the times
that I've guessed Little Caesar's in the past.
- Okay, this is a great pizza. - It's a good pizza.
- Better ingredients... - Better pizza.
Um, I'm gonna give it a nine.
Ooh, yeah, buddy.
- Man. - That is a nine.
I'm hesitant to give anything a 10.
I'm also gonna give it a nine.
- I agree with you, Rhett. - Oh, really?
And, uh, I'm guessing this is Papa John's.
Papa John's all the way.
'Cause the cheese hits your teeth the first time.
I don't even know what I'm saying anymore, I'm so happy.
The sausage-- the sausage came from John himself.
- No. - Oh, gosh.
Both:
That last one was so different, man.
What if you're wrong?
Well, then, I don't have pizza parties for the rest of my life.
All right, bring it in.
Mm.
Oh, it's droopy.
There we go.
Oh, okay, yep.
Big toppings.
I feel like I'm familiar with this.
- Man, that's a good pizza. - It's a good pizza.
- Man, it's good. - That's a good pizza.
I'm--
Oh, is it a nine, though?
Give it to me again.
Something about the sausage...
I don't love quite as much.
But I'm-- I'm gonna give it an--
I'm gonna give it a-- I'm gonna give it an eight.
Um, once you add sausage to a pizza,
it kind of takes over.
I feel like there's not as much cheese...
- No. - ...which I really love cheese.
But-- aw, man, I want to give it a nine as well.
I'm gonna-- I'm gonna give this one a nine as well.
That-- that is a really, really good pizza.
Is it from Pizza Hut, though?
I don't know.
I'm saying Domino's.
I think that's a Domino's pizza.
This is from Pizza Hut.
The sausage speaks to me.
All right, and that's the last one, right?
- What'd it say? - What?
It said, "I'm from Pizza Hut.
You used to come inside my store in order to eat my pizzas."
It wasn't that weird.
"But now we deliver them
- because we finally gave in." - Can you still go there?
I'm taking my blindfold off, but I'm keeping my eyes closed.
Stevie: You guys ready to hear how you did?
Yep.
Okay, so I'm gonna give you your scores first.
Rhett, you have a score of two.
Oh, that's not good.
Two? That's lame, man.
Link, you have a score of one.
( laughs )
Little Caesar's, huh?
What? What?
I shoulda guessed Little Caesar's every time.
I would've had the same score.
Yeah, right, exactly.
The one that was Little Caesar's,
you did not guess Little Caesar's on.
( laughs ) Really?
Surprisingly, your number two ranked pizza is Sbarro.
- Rhett:
is Papa John's.
Rhett:
Well, congratulations to the Papa John-less Papa John's
'cause that's the way they roll now.
Yeah, he's still there. He's behind the scenes.
And keep watching because we're gonna fill this place up
with some Mariachi performers and hot cocoa.
Rhett:
on our black-on-black logo t-shirt
so grab yours at mythical.store.