Are intimacy coordinators going to be just as important as stunt doubles? For these
directors, movie stars, and actors, intimacy coordinators make what's “on the screen” better.
According to Deadline, before HBO's 2018 intimacy coordinator mandate,
"Game of Thrones" had a history fraught with issues about on-set sensuality. Sean
Bean infamously lost his cool about intimacy coordinators long after his character Ned
Stark lost his head in season one. And Gemma Whelan, who plays Yara Greyjoy,
told The Guardian that filming sex scenes on the show could be, quote, "a sort of frenzied mess."
Emilia Clarke, who played fiery queen Daenerys Targaryen, spoke on Dax Shepard's Armchair Expert
podcast that the lack of direction in sexual scenes was terrifying, but now she says she has,
quote, "fights on set where I'm like, 'No, the sheet stays up." Clarke even thanked her co-star
Jason Momoa for protecting her when filming intimate scenes. Clarke told Armchair Expert,
"He was always like, 'Can we get her a f—ing robe? She's shivering!'"
Decider reported that Momoa faced his own intimacy battle while filming "Game Of Thrones." The star
revealed in the oral history, "Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon" that the show's co-creator,
David Benioff, pushed the actor to remove his 'intimacy pouch,' saying,
"Sacrifice! Do it for your art!"
"Out there he is the mighty Kal, but in this tent, he belongs to you."
Ita O'Brien, a pioneer in the intimacy coordination field as
well as the coordinator for "Normal People," told The Guardian that,
"An intimacy coordinator is somebody who brings a clear structure and a
process when choreographing intimate scenes in both theater, TV, and film."
Gaby Labotka, the intimacy director for the Tony
Award-nominated "Paradise Square," agrees. She was interview by Looper, saying,
"We facilitate consent between performers in order to simulate intimate actions or stories
within the director's vision, without sacrificing people's emotional, physical or mental safety."
"You see, in every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."
Labotka also said that,
"Often in the arts, we're trained to believe that we're not allowed to have boundaries,
or someone else will take our job."
The name of the intimacy coordinating game is empowerment and care. It expedites the
filmmaking process and keeps actors safe on set.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, HBO's "The Deuce" was the first show to officially employ an
intimacy coordinator. Made in 2018, "The Deuce" is a show about 1970s sex workers and it happened to
be filming right as the #MeToo movement was born. Consent quickly became the new watchword on sets.
The intimacy coordinator position was created for the provocative show after
actress Emily Meade was asked to do a graphic, fully-nude oral sex scene. The Washington Post
reported that she hadn't filmed anything like it before and was concerned, saying,
"Especially with the Internet, there's going to be images of me, topless, pretending to
give oral sex for the rest of my life." Meade asked HBO for help navigating the scene
and HBO hired Alicia Rodis, a well-known fight choreographer, to assist. Together,
Rodis and Meade came up with a new creative solution for the scene. Meade felt more agency
in the role with the show's creative departments meeting a new vision while protecting Meade's
vulnerability. HBO soon hired Rodis to serve as intimacy coordinator for all HBO productions.
David Simon, well-regarded creator of "The Wire" and "Treme," was the
showrunner on "The Deuce." He was enthusiastic about the change,
telling Rolling Stone he would always work with intimacy coordinators in the future.
As reported in The Washington Post,
Meade has said she is proud of the changes her request brought to her industry, explaining:
”All changes come from something being a problem at first,
and someone or people decide to change it. This is actually the
proudest thing I've ever been a part of in my career, being a part of that change."
Other shows and networks soon followed HBO's lead. Netflix credited their first intimacy
director in 2019 on their show "Sex Education." Amazon, Hulu, and Showtime quickly followed suit.
Rodis seized the momentum and formed the company Intimacy Directors International with colleagues
Tonia Sina and Siobhan Richardson. In 2020, her vision transformed and with
Jessica Steinrock and Marie Percy, Rodis formed Intimacy Directors and Coordinators.
"Ok. It's the sex scene. Take your clothes off and off you go."
What does a day's work look like when it comes to coordinating intimacy? While
the workday tends to vary, every aspect of intimacy coordination requires communication,
creativity, and check-ins regarding consent. Also, plenty of paperwork.
"...yeah.”
Intimacy coordinators start their projects by learning scripts, getting a feel for the vision
and tone the director is working towards, as well as discussing tactics with performers, designers,
wardrobe and costume departments. Above all, intimacy coordinators facilitate discussions about
consent and how to respect boundaries in pursuit of a singular creative goal—simulated intimacy.
As written in The Washington Post, when Intimacy Coordinator Alicia
Rodis reads a script, she might see that the actors are, quote,
"making passionate love on the sofa.” So what does that mean? What does that entail?
Rodis then makes sure that the director and actors have discussed the scene, making sure everyone
knows what to expect. This includes what the actors and their teams have agreed to regarding
nudity so no one is put in a power dynamic in the middle of creating a vulnerable moment in
the story. It's difficult to be comfortable saying "no" on a film set when there's so much at stake.
"Good times, Vin.”
Issues like comfort and consent can seem trivial or even luxurious on fast-paced film sets where
time is money. It is the job of an intimacy coordinator to facilitate consensual creativity
in the face of high-pressure constraints without sacrificing the performers or the quality of
their performances. Intimacy Coordinator Claire Warden told The Huffington Post,
"When you're doing a fall, you ask for a mat. We don't want to break the actor. Well,
we don't want to break the actor emotionally or psychologically either."
Once boundaries and consent are established for actors, intimacy coordinators work on meeting the
director's vision through choreography. Together, the creative team develops an
agreed-upon set of actions to allow performance to flourish. Gaby Labotka explains to Looper,
"I am not here to neuter the impulses that a director or actor might have. I'm here to help
facilitate [and] to make sure that everyone consents to whatever those impulses are."
As Labotka also explained, this allows the actors to dive in deeper and harder
to the emotions of the performance at hand, because the intentions are set.
"Last Tango In Paris" was a film notorious for allegedly abusing its young star Maria Schneider.
She complained she felt her director Bernardo Bertolucci and co-star Marlon Brando planned
to surprise her by forcing her to perform a scene of aggressive sexual nature without her consent.
She claimed she was deeply disturbed by the making of the film and never worked
again. Scenes like the infamously alleged on screen anal rape scene in "Last Tango
In Paris" can cause major psychological damage like any other violent attack.
It's nice to think Hollywood hires intimacy coordinators out of concern for the people
that power the industry, but the likely truth is more hardline — no one wants a lawsuit. No
one wants another Harvey Weinstein and how he took advantage of so many in Hollywood.
"So I've been waiting to feel less angry. And when I'm ready. I'll say what I have to say."
The #MeToo impact stretches far beyond Weinstein's sexual assault charges. While
intimacy coordinators existed before #MeToo, especially in live theatre,
the movement saw increased demand around Weinstein's scandals. Actress Salma Hayek
alleged in The New York Times that Weinstein not only demanded sexual favors from her but
forced her to shoot a full-frontal nude scene in movie "Frida" as punishment when she refused.
"Hey listen. If you think I'm going to sleep
with you because you've taken me under your wing, you're wrong."
#MeToo allegations can range in extremity, but the Weinstein abuses highlight how unchecked
power on set often proves disastrous. Women like actress Rose McGowan fighting with #MeToo took
sexual misconduct in film and TV production from being whispered about in back rooms to
global news. Film and TV sets soon scrambled to hire intimacy coordinators for every production.
"We need to make sure this doesn't happen to anybody else."
With unregulated megalomaniacs on one end and litigation-weary buzzkills on the other,
how can intimacy coordinators help maintain fun, creative, and safe film sets? Marci Liroff,
who worked as an intimacy coordinator on "Hightown," explains to Variety the obvious
difference between reality and fantasy saying, quote "This is not porn. This is make-believe."
"Go get the butter."
Tonia Sina, agrees, telling The Huffington Post,
"Stage sex is nothing like real sex. It's fake. It has to be taught,
and it has to be choreographed separately."
When it comes to simulating sex acts, wouldn't it just be cheaper and easier for directors to
just tell actors to have fun? Not necessarily. Having fun can mean many things to many people.
To avoid a wide interpretation, intimacy coordinators help establish standards when
it comes to practicing simulated intimacy. Gaby Labotka expands on this, telling Looper:
"The problem that I have with this idea of it being 'real'
is that what we're doing is literally fake."
"I'll have what she's having."
Intimacy coordinators don't seek
to prescribe physicality, but rather project guidelines in order to keep
sets safe. Ita O'Brien's "Intimacy on Set Guidelines" are a de facto industry standard
and provide framework boundaries regarding communication, planning,
and changes. In 2020, SAG-AFTRA released their own standards and protocols for the
use of industry coordinators. As reported by The Huffington Post, Tonia Sina insists,
"When you have a profession where people have to touch each other at their job,
there need to be rules around that."
Talbot acted as intimacy coordinator for "Bridgerton" and actress Phoebe Dynevor [FEE-bee
DID-ah-ver] expressed the benefits of more protocols being followed under Talbot's intimacy
work in an interview with Grazia magazine. Dynevor explained that her first-ever sex scene was in the
sixth episode. She explained how it was so great, because it felt safe and fun. She described it as:
“You choreograph it like a stunt, or a dance. It's crazy to me that
that hasn't been there in the past. I've done sex scenes before that I can't believe I did:
it was only five or six years ago, but it would not be allowed now."
"I can't believe I gave my panties to a geek."
It's not hard to imagine traumatizing experiences that can happen on set when intimacy is
mishandled, and Hollywood never seems to run dry of these particular horror stories. But what about
traumas that happened off-set that are triggered by actions witnessed on or participated in on-set?
Michaela Coel is the writer and star of "I May Destroy You," a drama revolving around
themes of sexual assault. As reported by BBC, Ita O'Brien served as the show's intimacy coordinator
and was explicitly thanked for her work in Coel's 2021 BAFTA acceptance speech. She said,
"Thank you for your existence in our industry [...] so that we can make work about exploitation,
loss of respect, about abuse of power, without being exploited or abused in the process."
O'Brien discussed the delicate process used for shooting scenes
of sexual assault with Harper's Bazaar, saying,
"Of course, there's a possibility that this could be triggering, and that's not
just for the people who are performing, but it could be anybody who's involved; it could
be the wardrobe person or someone watching on set ... even people working in the office."
Gaby Labotka describes the importance of mental health first aid training in relation to intimacy
coordination, telling Looper, quote, "People might have PTS that they don't necessarily know,
or maybe they do know that they might have a flashback. Perhaps they didn't anticipate
having one. Being able to help in those moments means someone doesn't feel the need to push
through it or harm themselves further in order to keep on working. Care is about recognizing
some of the signs of an episode, and also having resources to give to the individuals
so that they can seek further care, if they need it beyond the check-in or the steps that we do."
As Intimacy Coordinator Sasha Smith explained to The Hollywood Reporter:
"Making sure that there is representation in the room is incredibly important. As a Black woman,
I'm always an advocate for diversity and inclusion [...] not just BIPOC
but also disabled bodies and trans bodies."
"It's something we are all intimately involved in.
The reshaping of the human body by modern technology."
Mia Schachter, a leading intimacy coordinator,
told The Hollywood Reporter that they encountered the need for more inclusive
intimacy coordination on HBO's "Insecure." Schachter was the intimacy coordinator
during a shoot in which a white director was overseeing a scene involving two Black actors.
The director instructed the male actor to run his fingers through his female costar's hair,
which prompted Schachter to reach out to a Black colleague to ask if this was
a situation that should have been cleared by an intimacy coordinator. Schachter recalled,
"She told me, 'Yes, because that's not how Black people show care and
intimacy and love.' This reinforced for me that I'm not the right person for every
gig and that we desperately needed further representation in the field in Los Angeles."
While standards and accreditation systems evolve constantly,
a handful of intimacy coordinator training programs exist. For now,
training to become an intimacy coordinator is as pricey as it is rigorous and centered
mostly in LA, NY, and Chicago in the US, as well as major metro areas in the UK.
Many of the premiere programs have been developed by leading industry coordinators,
fresh from major projects. Mia Schachter tells Broadway World the major US centers
"Require set experience, and they train in specific methods of communication [...] We
learn the kinds of touch that indicate different themes in sexual scenes."
Many actors with movement experience, such as dance and fight choreography,
are drawn to this work. Gaby Labotka tells her background in movement choreography has
provided her with a dynamic base to work from when it comes to designing intimacy. She says,
"...fighting, dance, intimacy–-they're all cousins, if not siblings."
Many intimacy coordinators were (or are) actors themselves and many have had their own negative
experiences of spontaneity and intimate demands that went wrong. Intimacy coordinator and former
actress Alicia Rodis told Men's Health that she first noticed a discrepancy between the level of
involvement of choreographers in different types of scenes when she would prepare for stunts.
Rodis explained that when preparing to perform something like a high fall,
she would always work closely with stunt coordinators who ensured that
both the performer and the crew knew what to expect. However,
this was not the case for scenes that were of a more intimate nature. Rodis recalled,
"There was no real protocol around how they were
doing these scenes. So I saw that as an opportunity [...] "
As Brittany Snow from Ti West's "X" explained to Collider:
"I felt safe because there was so much consideration and care about every single
shot in that movie. Nothing was shown that wasn't talked about at length beforehand."
Actors may be the most obvious beneficiaries of a good intimacy
coordinator, but directors stand to gain just as much from their work.
David Simon, who was initially hesitant to bring Alicia Rodis
onto "The Deuce," ultimately sang her praises to IndieWire. Ed Guiney,
executive producer of Hulu's "Normal People," was also concerned an intimacy coordinator would
disrupt the delicate relationship between the director and actors. On the contrary,
the actors loved working with O'Brien. Guiney told The Hollywood Reporter he was pleasantly
surprised at how the process, quote, "frees the actors up to properly be in the moment."
"Dead to Me" showrunner Liz Feldman was relieved to work with an intimacy coordinator
on a make-out scene between teenagers. As told to The Hollywood Reporter, she said,
"You write something on the page, and you're like, 'Oh,
that's going to be great. It'll be really sexy.'"
She later emphasized that reality doesn’t set in till your onset, adding:
”You realize, 'I'm basically asking these people to become incredibly intimate with
someone that they've just met and to do it over and over again in front of a crew.'"
Intimacy coordinators take responsibilities and liabilities off of creators' plates
and can relieve any sexual pressure so that stars can do their jobs in peace.
Miriam Lucia works as an intimacy coordinator on the "Game of Thrones" prequel,
"House of the Dragon." They were brought to service when young actress Emily Carey had
to engage in a simulated sex act with the 47-year-old actor Paddy Considine.
Carey was thankful for Lucia's work. She told Newsweek,
"To be able to talk everything through and not be shunned,
or not feel awkward ... was a massive help and on set she was a massive help."
HBO is far from where it started when it comes to intimacy, but Lucia keeps
an eye out for vulnerable individuals in her line of work. She told Deadline,
that she was aware that everyone regardless of who they are saying,
"Young men often are just as nervous, and wary,
and not sure about trusting what's being asked of them. So, I try and remember that."
Rather than banking on a star having an educated colleague or an understanding director,
Hollywood seems finally committed to collaborating with set boundaries.
Intimacy coordinators are no longer considered a luxury but more and more
a necessary part of any production. In some cases, they are part of a corporate mandate.
"Not only did people hear our stories, but they said, 'Yeah,
we hear you and something does need to change.'"
As reported by Looper, Gaby Labotka says that intimacy coordinators are going to
be a integral part of film-making as stunt coordinators are. Labotka adds:
“Intimacy coordinators are technically their own department when they're on set. I think people
who feel that this is a fad must not have been paying attention to the last five years because
it's only grown. And it's only grown because it's working. It's grown because it makes not only the
culture of sets better, but ultimately, it makes the craft better. It makes the film better."
Intimacy coordinators can empower the most vulnerable in the entertainment industry.
Even though the work continues to evolve, coordinators continue to make sets safer,
more creative, and less destructive. For many in the industry—here, there be fewer dragons.