- I don't wanna say I'm addicted,
but I kinda need it. - She's addicted.
- (React) Appreciate the honesty. - Okay.
- I don't. - I knew she had some feet thing.
- Don't take this out of context, people!
This is my mom. - (React) First time on React.
- I'm excited. - She has no idea
what she's getting into. - (React) You are gonna be playing
a rousing and insightful game of Would You Rather?
I scoured Reddit. Do you know what Reddit is?
- Do I what? - (laughs)
- (React) What do you think when you watch Jamie on React?
- She doesn't talk that much. She's always just like, "Oh." (laughs)
- (React) Would you rather be in a small room
with 10 poison snakes or 5 chimpanzees?
- (both) Five chimpanzees.
- Yeah. Hands down. - Hands down.
- I have phobia of snakes, so... - How dangerous are the chimpanzees?
- (React) A single chimpanzee can rip your face off in a second.
- Oh. - (laughs)
- (laughs) Oh, really? - I didn't know that.
- Oh, this is easy. - It's hard.
- It's easy! - They can bite you
and give you poison. And they can wrap around your neck
and you're done. - Monkeys are terrifying.
- Yeah. - They're terrifying.
- They have hands and feet, whereas the snake doesn't.
- I would say chimpanzees because I could fight.
- What? - (both laugh)
- There's 10 of 'em versus 5.
- Yeah, but chimpanzees are bigger. - Yeah, I'll take the snakes.
- I'm telling you, chimpanzee slayers.
Be scared of us. - Yes.
♪ (hardcore rock music) ♪
- (React) What franchise would you erase from existence?
- Nooo! - (React) Star Wars,
Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, the Marvel Cinematic Universe,
Harry Potter, or Indiana Jones? - Never Harry Potter.
- Wow. - I'm a Harry Potter lover.
Can't. Never. Star Wars is a big franchise,
so if you erased it, a lot of people who are lovers
of Star Wars-- - I'm not gonna miss it.
- But-- - I don't like it. I'm sorry!
I don't like it! - This is making me sad.
- Either Star Wars or Indiana Jones. - How could you say that?
I love Star Wars. - Don't hate me please.
I'd do Lord of the Rings. - I was gonna say that!
- Lord of the Rings. I think it was seventh grade,
and I had to read one of the books. The one that I read was so bad,
I never watched anything Lord of the Rings related.
The Marvel universe definitely has to be there
'cause I love Marvel. I don't like Lord of the Rings.
- Oh! Oh, this is-- - I bet I know.
You're gonna go with Indiana Jones, aren't you?
- Yeah. - (laughs) I bet.
- (React) But have you done the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland?
That won't exist because of your choice.
- You know what? I prefer Space Mountain.
- (React laughs) Would you rather...
automatically shout "Ahoy, matey!" when you get aroused
or find someone attractive or shout "Shiver me timbers!"
every time you fart, even the silent ones?
- Wha-what?! - Oh, wow.
- Oh, no! - Oh, wow.
- Oh, no. - She is ahoy married!
- (laughs) I'm ahoy married, yup. I'm ahoy married woman,
so I'm okay with saying "Ahoy, matey!"
- What?! - I literally have a crush
in school right now. As you're in class, "Ahoy, matey!"
Like, no. - I'd rather you do
"Shiver me timbers." - You want me to go
to Starbucks and say, "Shiver me timbers!"
- I mean, I used to have my mom say, "Fart"
at home before she farted. And she would do it
to give me a war-- (laughs) - I didn't do--
- Ahoy, matey! I go for this one. The first one. Yeah, woo!
I see a cute boy, and then I shout it out.
- (React) Would you rather have every song you heard
slowly turn into All Star or every movie you watch
slowly turn into Shrek? - (Shrek) Donkey!
- Every movie I watch slowly turn into Shrek. (laughs)
(as Shrek) Get outta my swamp! - These are all so easy.
Oh my gosh.
- Is it? (laughs) - Shrek is a good movie.
It's a good movie. - Yes, it's good,
but I mean... - I wouldn't want every movie
to be Shrek. I like watching it once in a while.
- (distorted) Luke, I am your father. You switch, and then it's not--
It's Shrek. - It's true.
- (React) Would you rather... - Ooh.
- (React) ...lick someone's feet or someone lick your feet?
- Someone like MY feet. - Ooh. Yeah, someone lick my feet.
- Wait. Ew! - She just said she wanted
to lick another feet. - I didn't say it like that!
- This is the first hard one. - I'll take the latter.
- Really? - Yeah. It's not my tongue.
- (React chuckles) - Of course someone lick my feet!
- Yeah. Go ahead. You can lick it. - I don't wanna lick anybody's feet!
That's gross! - I think I'd rather
lick someone else's foot. - Really?!
- I just-- I don't want anyone near my feet. (laughs)
- I knew she had some feet thing. - I-- (laughs) What does that mean?!
Don't take this out of context, people!
- (React) How much money would it take for you
to lick a random stranger's clean feet?
- 10 bands. - I thought you was just gonna
say lick a feet. I was about to say, "Well,
I've done, you know," but... - (React) Appreciate the honesty.
- Okay. - I don't.
- (React laughs) Each time you press a button,
you get $100,000, but you lose 1 year of your lifespan.
How many times do you press that button?
- 10. 10 times.
- You gonna press it 10-- did you understand the question?
- Girl, I'd do anything to be rich. I don't care.
- I would not press any time. - I knew she was gonna say that.
- (React) Not one press? - No, not one press.
- Me neither. Me neither. - No, no. My life is valuable.
- I ain't pushing the button. - (React) Not one press?
- I ain't pushing the button. - I am!
I'd do anything for some cash. - (React) 10 times?
- 10 times. - (React) And not one press?
- She's not sounding smart right now. I'm highly disappointed.
- I would press it once. - Think I would do, like, 20.
Let's say I live to 80. - (React) Okay.
- Oh, 60. Wait. - 60's pretty young.
- Oh, wait a second. - (React) What if you knew
you were only gonna live till 50?
How many times would you press it?
- Twice. - Angel!
- What?! - I'm almost 50!
When you get to almost 50, you're gonna feel so young.
And you know, they gonna play this tape back,
and you're gonna be in tears at home. - Well, if I'm only living--
- Yeah. - No, not one press.
Even if it was for a million. - Money is money.
- It's okay to change your mind, angel.
- (laughs) - It's okay to say, "You know what?
I'm sorry, y'all." - (React) Would you rather
speak every language fluently or play every instrument beautifully?
- Language. 100%. - Language. I think it's so important
to speak another language. My native language is Portuguese.
But I speak English. I can speak Italian, Spanish.
- Ooh, instrument. - No, language.
- Instrument for me. - Language! What?
- Language. - Yeah.
- Yeah. - People love music,
and you can speak-- that's a language in itself.
- I mean, if you play an instrument, you know, that would be cool,
but I mean, you cannot communicate with people.
- I'm in a French restaurant. ♪ (banjo plays) ♪
Here's my order. - How many times did we suffer
'cause we lacked a language? Many, many times.
- (both converse in Portuguese)
- (React) What would you never want to feel again?
Throwing up/nausea, bad stomach/diarrhea,
having a cold/feeling congested, or headaches and migraines?
- I'ma say headaches and migraines. - I'ma say bad stomach and diarrhea.
- Nauseous, throw up. - That's it?!
But imagine never having a cold again.
- Eh, cold doesn't bother me anyway. - Oh, this one's hard.
- Yeah. She's not good with pain. - Nausea makes me, you know, sick.
I cannot eat well, and I appreciate when I eat.
- Bad stomach because cramps, I think, can be involved
in having a bad stomach. You didn't think of that. I did.
- But I can make it through cramps.
I made it through a baby. - I can't!
- I can make it through cramps. - I grind my teeth in my sleep.
And so, every morning, I have a headache.
- If your brain is not functioning, then, you know, who cares
about the rest of your body, throwing up and stomach aches
and all of that kind of stuff? You gotta listen to me.
He said I was smart. - I'm picking 100K.
- Okay. - (all laugh)
- (React) Would you rather have free unlimited Starbucks
for the rest of your life or always have your phone/laptop
charged 100% without ever having to charge ever again
for the rest of your life? - She's choosing the phone,
hands down. She's choosing the phone option.
I'm choosing Starbucks. - No! Phone! Phone!
(laughs) I cannot leave with my ph-- - Phone!
- Without my phone, no. Phone. - Phone. 100%.
- She never charges her phone! It's always at two.
And she'll charge it up to like 12% and say,
"That's enough," and she'll take her phone,
which is really annoying. - 'Cause I can't wait.
- Her phone is always dead. She steals mine.
- I, every single day in the morning, always get Starbucks.
So, I'm a Star head-- Starbucks.
- (React) Is Star head a thing? - I think so! It is now.
Star head. I'm a Star head. - You don't even dri--
she doesn't even drink Starbucks. - Yeah, but I can charge my phone!
- I don't wanna say I'm addicted, but I kinda need it.
- She's addicted. - You don't go to Starbucks
for coffee. - That's what you-- what?!
- You go for their other drinks! I always order their food,
but they have really good water. They have good ice.
They have good ice. - It's small, nice to chew on.
- Yeah! - (React) Would you rather
the $100,00 button or a button for Starbucks
and it automatically appears-- - 100,000! 100,000!
Bom, bom, bom, bom, bom! - I'm telling you.
If y'all see her in the street, please let her know
that pushing a 100K button
for life instead is NOT the idea. - If they see me in the street?!
- (React) Would you rather have everyone more than 10 years
older than you talk like an adult from Charlie Brown
or everyone half your age and younger talk like a minion?
- How do adults from Charlie Brown talk?
- Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp.
Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp. - They're both kinda annoying.
- How does a minion talk? - Blah, blah, blah, blah!
- Oh, no! - (laughs)
- No! - I think I'm gonna go
with Charlie Brown 'cause I think I would be annoyed
if everyone talked like a minion. Wait! No!
Because everyone half my age... - ♪ Minus one, that's three ♪
♪ Quick maths ♪ - But I would grow,
and then they would always be half my age.
Yeah, okay, Charlie Brown. - Whomp, whomp, whomp,
whomp, whomp, whomp. - Blah, blah, blah!
- Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp. - (React) Would you rather
stop all shootings, including those in wars,
or stop global warming? - Stop all shootings.
- Stop all shootings. - If you were to stop all shootings,
humans would still go to war and they would find other ways
to kill each other, so I say stop global warming.
- But people could try to harm us with other weapons.
- But at least not shooting. No school shootings anymore.
- Dropping your child off at school one day,
you know, innocently thinking they're enjoying recess.
Next thing you know, you get a call saying they're dead.
- This one gets so weird when I go to school because of that.
- I know right. - (React) Would you rather have
a vagina on your forehead or a line of penises
down your back like a stegosaurus?
- Oh. That's kinda cool. - (React laughs)
- I would stick with a vagina.
- (React) On your forehead? - Yeah. I don't want a penis.
- A line of penises down my back,
like a stegosaurus! - (React) Uhhh...
- Wait! Does that mean they're pointing?!
- (React) Depends on if you're ahoy mateying at the time.
- NO! - How you gonna cover
your vagina in your forehead? - Well, I don't know.
Maybe wear a hat? What are you gonna do
with the penis when you go to the beach?
How you gonna remove the penis from your back?
- Think I'll take the penises too. - (laughs)
- Yeah. - I'll take the penises.
- (laughs) That was so quick.
- I would get some dope jackets.
Like, I would get the holes down. - Oh my god, Mom!
- Rhinestones all over. - I guess I could have bangs.
(laughs) You can cover it with bangs.
- Two vaginas. When one is tired, use the other one.
- (both laugh)
- Thank you guys for watching this video on React.
- Would you rather like or subscribe? Trick question. Do both!
- In the comments, put some would-you-rathers
and maybe we'll do them next time.
- Buh-bye! - Bye!
- Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah! - Whomp, whomp, whomp.
Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp. - Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. - Whomp, whomp, whomp, whomp.