um sorry are you supposed to be
scary welcome to watch mojo and today
we're counting down our picks for the
top 10 least scary horror movie monsters
oh please mister please
i have a daughter call her okay
for this list we'll be taking a look at
what we consider to be the dumbest
and or least scary monsters in horror
movies
to be clear we are not saying that these
are bad movies it's just that their
monsters don't exactly give us the
heebie-jeebies
also we'll only be including monsters
which are legitimately meant to scare
or at least unnerve us so intentional
b-movie schlock will not be included
if you like what you're hearing be sure
to check out the full song at the link
[Music]
below
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number 10 the gremlins gremlins
yes we understand that gremlins is
primarily a comedy but it's meant to be
a horror comedy hybrid
and because of that we're calling these
things lame
for one thing this movie came out in
1984
while the creatures may have been scary
then they look ridiculous today
which pretty much eliminates any
semblance of horror they may have once
had
secondly their weakness is light a
monster is not very intimidating if it
only reaches your knee and can be
defeated with
a flashlight granted they absolutely
terrified kids in the 80s so
job well done we suppose
number 9 the professor house of a
thousand corpses
with a title like that and director rob
zombie behind the camera
you'd think this movie would be filled
with menacing creatures
nope we got this instead
the professor is a mutant with an oxygen
mask who follows the orders of its boss
dr
satan and that's probably the most
ridiculous sentence we've ever spoken
we're not really sure what its deal is
but it looks absurd
and the cheesy guitar music which plays
during his supposedly terrifying
entrance
isn't doing it any favors
[Music]
but then again we were not really
expecting much from this movie anyway
number eight the blob the blob
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yes this movie is from 1958 but plenty
of movies from the 50s are still
scary this one is just blah the new york
times review called the movie's special
effects pretty phony
and if they looked bad in 1958 you can
only imagine how terrible they look
over 60 years later the blob is a giant
alien thing which crashes to earth on an
asteroid
and it eventually grows in size as it
feasts
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the problem is the blob simply looks
like a glob of
jelly and moves like molasses sure in
real life it might be
kind of scary to see a giant glob of
jelly moving towards you
but for audiences it's a bore now listen
is there any other way out of here
the windows number seven the zombies
world war z
[Applause]
while the movie was certainly filled
with non-stop zombie action it would
have been better if the zombies were
actually
you know scary like a zombie should be
perhaps due to its pg-13 rating these
zombies did not look menacing
at all they just looked like ragdolls
who ran fast and made goofy noises
also the movie employed far too much cgi
for its own good
so scenes which should have been
terrifying like a surge of zombies
toppling a bus or scaling a giant wall
looked laughable instead they're very
basic pg-13 zombies for a very expensive
pg-13 movie
number six smiley smiley
what i think someone's gonna call smiley
on me
who you know the urban legend
smiley no who's that
okay let us just tell you the synopsis
of this film
the smiley killer is an internet myth
and when you type i did it for the lulz
three times into a webcam-based website
smiley will supposedly come and kill
the person you're talking to yeah it's
like bloody mary only with lulls and
webcams
oh well i don't know why you did it but
i know why i did
not only is the storyline and supposed
myth preposterous
but the killer with his sewn eyes and
carved smile
looks pretty stupid as well while it
would probably scare a few kids who
happen to be watching
it does absolutely nothing for the rest
of us
number five giant spider arachnophobia
crawled up the waterspout spiders
are definitely creepy seriously how many
of you scream at the slightest hint of a
spider
therefore the finale of this movie about
a group of poisonous spiders killing the
residents of a small town
should have been terrifying and
grotesque instead we got a spider
slightly larger than a tarantula
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it also follows the rule of every
boogeyman monster
ever as it comes back to life with a
lame jump scare and chases the
protagonist while it's on fire
yeah we wish we made that up spiders can
be terrifying
spiders that act like jason are just
silly
number four the creeper jeepers creepers
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this movie started out with a ton of
potential seeming like a more disgusting
and extreme version of steven
spielberg's duel
the story of a psychotic truck driver
who kills people and stitches them to
walls of an abandoned church
sounds badass
[Applause]
but then the movie does a complete 180
and we find out that this psychotic
truck driver has
wings and is actually an ancient
creature who hunts humans for 23 days
every
23rd spring yup it's really lame and it
ruined what could have otherwise been a
perfectly fine horror movie
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number three the leprechaun leprechaun
three
a lucky side the golden side will soon
be
there's a reason this movie was direct
to video the first two leprechaun movies
were bad enough
with a giggling diminutive villain that
inspired neither laughs nor
chills but somehow leprechaun 3 managed
to scrape even deeper into the bottom of
the barrel
taking lobden to vegas and making him
even more ridiculous
blue shoes uh they'll become a blue
suede i i really like them man
well thank you thank you very much after
all it's hard to be scared of a villain
who does elvis impersonations sure his
goofy antics were played mostly for
laughs but they somehow managed to fail
at both
and so did his super lame kills how the
hell are you
i'm a leprechaun with us and i'm gonna
make you
pay number two a very nice car
christine
[Music]
throughout much of the 1980s stephen
king was flying
high as a result we got a bunch of weird
stories
including some about inanimate objects
attacking people
the most famous of these is probably
christine a story about a sentient and
bloodthirsty plymouth fury
yes the movie is every bit as silly as
that sentence made it sound
we mean what is honestly scary about a
car and a really beautiful car at that
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the whole situation is embarrassing and
while john carpenter does what he can
with the material
the story is far too out there to be
even close to scary
before we unveil our least menacing
number one pick here are some
dishonorable mentions
[Music]
hello my name is elliott moore
i'm just going to talk in a very
positive manner
giving off good vibes we're just here to
use the bathroom
oh what the hell hey jack
what you left the 7 10 split
[Music]
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number one uber jason jason x
[Music]
jason was once the king of the slasher
movie complete with a terrifying build
and his signature hockey mask
and then he went into space and once
your franchise does that
you're pretty much done impossible
i'd say it got better it's been modified
oh you think
not only is the movie itself asinine
it's about a serial killer coming back
to life in the year 2455 on earth 2.
but jason went from intimidating to
laughingstock
real quick his new nanite suit is
probably the dumbest thing we've seen in
a horror movie
especially considering that his
distinctive mask was replaced with
whatever this is you can't really take
this series too seriously
but this is a new low do you agree with
our picks
let us know in the comments and hey if
you're a fan of the song playing right
now
be sure to check out the music video for
it right here