Dating is one of the more confusing events that life throws your way.
From trying to figure out if they even like you, to presenting yourself the right way, there are already enough things on your mind without taking into consideration some of the scarier aspects of dating.
You’ve probably heard some weird or downright crazy dating stories in the past, but is there any way to figure out if the person you’re with is actually a psychopath?
Fortunately yes, which is why today we’ll be breaking down some signs of a psychopath, as well as what to specifically look for within your own relationship.
Oh, and make sure to watch until number 1, as this is a red flag that most people miss!
Number 9:You seem too similar to them.
One of the most common parts of dating a psycho guy or girl is feeling as if you are almost too much alike.
This is because psychopaths usually learn from a young age to mask emotions and to present “safe” ones according to the situation.
If you feel like your partner likes all the same stuff as you, or that you share the same opinions on almost everything, something more could be going on here.
The process of copying you in order to make you like them more is called mirroring, and something that psychopaths commonly do in order to lower your guard around them.
While they may seem like the perfect person for you, this could all just be an act to them.
If there is a part of you that doesn't trust or fully believe that your partner is being genuine, then the best next step is to ask more questions to figure out why they are choosing not to open up.
Number 8:They don’t seem to have a lot of friends.
Psychopaths have a lack of empathy and compassion.
By default, this can make it pretty difficult to form real friendships with others, which is why psychopaths are often described as loners.
People without much empathy are more likely to focus on themselves, and this is definitely the case for people labeled as psychopaths.
This is not to say that these people will have no friends, as they are still interpreted primarily as cheerful and friendly people.
The friendships that the psychopath experiences will resemble something closer to a work or party relationship, with a lack of real trust or humanity.
Being vulnerable is really tough for this type of person, and so maintaining a healthy and satisfying friendship will seem very difficult to psychopaths.
A common example of this would be that a psychopath doesn’t get a friend a birthday card to make them feel good, but instead to make sure that the intent or “effect” was felt.
Psychopaths are self-serving individuals, which is why interpersonal relationships can seem so difficult to keep up.
Psychopaths don’t want a genuine connection, and so will often look for work in places where they can control the power dynamic even better.
In workplaces they often maintain positions of power in order to further establish themselves as a person deserving of respect.
Number 7:They constantly threaten boundaries.
Since psychopaths have a hard time considering the emotions of others, a relationship with one can become very taxing.
These people will always be intruding on the boundaries that you put up for yourself, and may not even see your annoyance as a reason to stop.
People that are in relationships with psychopaths often recall being challenged often about their beliefs.
They report that they always felt their partner looking for weaknesses in their defenses, and feeling exhausted after arguments.
Interestingly enough, although there will be no boundaries on your side, your partner will still be extremely defensive when they feel like they are being prodded, and this can easily lead to fights and discomfort.
Psychopaths want to remove others’ power immediately, and so don’t expect them to loosen up their boundaries in order to be “fair” to you.
Number 6:There’s always a loser and a winner.
While most people would agree that assigning a winner and loser to every situation sounds like a bad idea, this is exactly what a psychopath will do.
Most people with psychopathy are also documented in making mental lists of their good deeds to others for future reference.
In a romantic relationship, don’t expect a psychopathic partner to accept losing easily, and for them to even complain or argue that they lost in the first place.
Things are pretty black and white inside the mind of a psychopath, and they’re not going to understand the greater lessons behind winning and losing.
Instead the result is always going to be the most important thing in their minds.
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Number 5: Your confidence shrinks up.
Many people that have been in abusive relationships with psychopaths have expressed the feeling that they started to lose themselves along the way.
Psychopaths are dominating figures that wish to control the relationship and have the final say at all moments.
Because of this, you may be feeling tired, less motivated, or even a little unsure about your thoughts or actions.
This is the result of having your voice taken away, and not just a sign that you have a psychopathic partner, but also that you’re in a toxic relationship too.
Because your confidence shrinks up, you will become increasingly easier to control, which is exactly what the psychopath wants.
They also may try to push you away from your friends and even family members if they feel like it will help them maintain a position of power over you.
The best advice here is to maintain a strong support system that will be able to get you away from psychopaths who seek to suck the power from you.
Number 4:They “love bomb”.
Love bombing is a term coined by Maddy Anholt, author of multiple books around with psychopaths in toxic relationships.
The term basically means that psychopaths will promise big things and give you a very rewarding relationship right off the bat.
This may sound great, but is only a part of their act, and will be dropped once they feel like they’ve done enough to earn your trust and love.
Maddy warns that although love bombing can feel good, you can spot it by how hollow and you-centric it is.
It may feel good to have someone you’re attracted to shower you with love and affection, but if they aren’t doing anything to get that put back on themselves, then it probably isn’t real at all.
Psychopaths are the greatest actors on the planet, in no small part because they are acting with friends and family everyday.
They prey on people’s desire to be taken care of and loved, but Maddy warns to be certain that they are doing it for the right reasons before letting an overly cheerful person into your life.
Number 3:They talk about being attracted to your “kindness”.
Psychopaths don’t just choose the people they want to pursue randomly, and if you have been chosen, there might be a reason.
Psychopaths are attracted to kind and genuine people, which is dangerous because they offer neither of those traits in return.
Psychopaths are excited by attention, and so these people will give them the proper amount of care and respect for presents, and also be there for the psychopath if they need support.
This establishes a relationship where the psychopath is free to copy their partner’s emotions and build up the partner into feeling like they have a really sweet and sincere relationship.
Once the psychopath grows bored, though, they will lose interest and drop their partner without much care, causing a tremendous amount of heartache in the process.
If you are a person who considers themselves kind or empathetic to others, then you should be cautious since those are things that psychopaths seem to latch onto.
Number 2:They compliment you in backhanded ways.
Your partner saying “you look so much prettier without makeup” or something of that nature could be more than just an annoying opinion.
Some people, particularly men, will find ways to insult you while maintaining a positive surface demeanor.
This practice is called negging, or gaslighting, and is a common tool used by the manipulator.
If you feel like the compliments you’re getting just cause more harm than good, this very well could be going on with you.
With psychopaths and gaslighters, what they are saying is almost never what they are actually trying to say, and it can become truly difficult to separate reality from the lies your partner is telling you.
Number 1:They don’t deal with rejection well.
Unfortunately, rejection is a part of life.Be it romantically, at their workplace, or anywhere, someone is bound to say no along the way.
Most of us know how to handle rejection without it further embarrassing ourselves or forcing ourselves to linger on the pain any longer than necessary, but psychopathic people are not so lucky.
Psychopaths are really bad at dealing with rejection, and it may even seem like you’re dating a crazy person at that moment.
This is because psychopaths put most of their confidence in the fact that they are well-liked, and so when they are met with the realization that maybe things aren’t quite as good as they appear, they explode.
Psychopaths will blame others, lash out, and pout all while denying that anything upset them in the first place.
As funny as it may be to see a person who hurt you get their just desserts, this trait may pose issues for you as well.
Psychopaths usually do not handle break-ups well either, and often will villainize their partners in an effort to distance blame away from themselves.
Always be aware that if you are able to identify a psychopath while dating them that getting out of the relationship can be extremely taxing, too.