- Welcome to "Therapist Reacts Raw,"
where I sound off on the relationship
and mental health aspects
of things going on in pop culture or in the world.
Things that I have not seen before,
that are just put in front of my eyes.
So, I have not watched "Bridgerton" yet.
I know, people are telling me I need to.
And I need to, my wife has watched it.
I just haven't made the time.
But I do know a little bit about some of the characters.
So I'm gonna get some Anthony Bridgerton
season two stuff right now.
I don't know what awaits me, here we go.
(upbeat music)
- Speaking of which, she would adore those.
- I love the wardrobe in this show.
And the floral arrangements, very nice.
I feel like something's about to go down.
- They're quite lovely, are they not?
- Daphne will be jealous if we return with nothing for her.
- Not the bees.
This is like "Tommy Boy" all over again.
- This bloody-- Ah.
- Father?
- Killed by CGI.
- Oh, the damn thing stung me.
- He's not actually gonna die.
- Father?
- Shut up.
- What is it?
(Edmund gasping)
- What, what?
- I can't-- - Help us, someone!
- Is he allergic?
Is this an allergic reaction
or did he get harpooned in the larynx?
- Help!
(Edmund gasping) Father.
Help!
- What happened?
- I don't know. - I mean, no offense,
but what is she gonna do?
It's not like she can hoist him on her shoulders.
- Edmund you must, you must breathe.
- Oh, "you must breathe."
I'm trying.
Stop it. No!
- No, no, no, no, please don't.
Do not leave me.
No, Edmund!
Do not leave me!
- That escalated quickly.
(Violet crying)
- That's shocking. What?
- The other children, they cannot see him.
Anthony. Go!
- Okay, so Anthony.
Anthony is in shock right now.
Having a hard time processing
that his dad was just killed by a pollinator.
I don't have a lot of thoughts right now.
Other than it would be hard to process.
I mean, Mom obviously has seen some stuff in her life
because even though she's grieving, she's still lucid.
And she's thinking about where the next steps are.
She's probably experienced death,
but for Anthony this is yeah, he's frozen.
This is fight, flight, or freeze.
We freeze when we don't know what to do, right?
We freeze when all the options seem bad.
Or when we're too shocked to even process what's going on.
Poor Anthony and holy crap, "Bridgerton" writers.
Like, the hell was that?
Now I understand between my producer and then Alicia
who've both watched this show,
that Anthony is supposed to marry Edwina.
And Kate, Edwina's sister, does not want to get married.
And yet she and Anthony have something palpable.
Something chemical, something primal.
Let's see what happens.
- I can assure you, happiness is not your strength.
- He's like "yep."
- Fixation, most definitely.
The only feeling you are in fact capable of engendering,
my lord, is that of discontent.
- Do not move. - Do not tell me--
- No, no. Stand still, damn it!
- What to do.
(both gasping)
- She thought it was about something else.
- No, no, do not.
- Speaking of escalating quickly.
(Kate exhaling)
- Did it sting her?
- What?
- Can you breathe?
- It is only a sting, of course.
- Are you certain?
- My lord.
- No, no. Do not--
(Anthony hyperventilating)
- My lord.
(Anthony continues panting)
I am unharmed.
- Whoa. Way to break the touch barrier.
(Anthony breathing deeply)
Well, this is exciting. - It was just a bee.
- We're confusing different types of arousal here.
Fear and panic has turned into something else.
She wants to soothe him, now their faces are close.
She was just insulting him.
This is something I love about television,
is that you can hate someone's guts and be insulting them,
and on the verge of making out like the very next second.
That is not how real life operates.
(horse whinnying)
Yeah, giddy up indeed.
He's like, "Imma bounce."
So obviously there is some trauma there.
He witnessed his father die before his very eyes
because of a bee sting.
What we see with trauma triggers
is that a reminder of the traumatic incident
will bring up an intense fear or panic response.
And that's what's going on with him.
He sees the bee.
And the bee, if we think of like Pavlov's dogs, right?
Like the bell originally didn't mean anything to them
but the bell paired with food,
they would start to salivate at the sound of the bell
because the bell is now associated with food.
For him, a bee used to just be a bee.
In fact, when he was talking to his dad
and he saw the bee around his dad the first time,
no big deal.
'Cause the bee was just a bee.
Now he associates the bee with murder and death.
Murder bees.
And so he sees this bee around her
and he has an intense panic response.
His heart rate accelerates his breathing becomes rapid.
And then he becomes panicked
and forgets himself when it comes to propriety
and physical boundaries and gets super close to her.
I mean, I could see on the part of the writers,
this is a smart way to very quickly bridge the gap.
They've got tension, they've got attraction,
and she resents him because she's attracted to him.
She resents him because he's marrying her sister,
and she wants him to marry her sister,
but at the same time she wants him, herself.
And so she's confused about this whole dynamic
and upset this whole dynamic is even taking place
inside of her.
She shouldn't want him, she wants to be alone.
And yet want him, she does.
So she's got all of this going on inside of her
and she's lashing out at him
because that's how she's handling those feelings.
And then the bee gets close.
And then his hand goes on her upper chest slash shoulder
and their eyes lock and he's already breathing heavy.
And she thought he was breathing heavy
'cause he was looking at her chest,
but no, he's just looking at a bee.
So she's disappointed that it was just a bee,
but also strangely excited that she thought
he was looking at her chest and breathing heavy.
So now she's just really wanting this to happen
to see where it goes.
Never knew she wanted it so badly
and he suddenly was scared of the bee and he's all riled up.
But now he's touching her skin
and their eyes are locking,
they're breathing close together.
Like it's just a whole thing, guys.
It's a whole thing.
And I've never experienced this specific thing in my life.
I've never had the convergence of bees and breasts
and eye contact before, but I'll see if Alicia's game.
(Anthony sighing)
- Losing Edmund was the most difficult time of my life.
- Yep.
- And the pain that I felt? beyond description.
But there is one thing
that has given me at least some modicum of solace.
It's knowing that I would still choose
the life I led with him each and every time.
- That's awesome. - And I would undoubtedly
feel the same pain I felt all over again, if I had to.
Because real, true love is worth it.
- Love is pain. And it is worth it.
And the only way to live without pain--
- Do not lose her, Anthony.
You cannot lose her.
- The only way to live without pain is to live without love.
But is that really a life?
If we don't love others, if we don't connect with others,
if we don't serve others,
and enjoy others and are loved by others,
and I'm not saying if you don't have that
your life isn't worth living,
I'm saying it's what we seek.
And that love can also be love for yourself.
That's something I've been discovering a lot lately,
is just how powerful it is to be for yourself
what you wanted others to be for you.
But she talks about how that was the worst time of her life.
The most painful time was losing him,
but it was worth it for the time she had with him.
At some point or another, everyone you know and love
is either going to leave you through death
or you're going to leave them.
And for some people, they just don't want to get connected
because what's the point if you're gonna lose it?
But the point is: all the times that you had before
and all the times that you had before the loss.
Okay, "Bridgerton," you got me hooked.
I need to watch this show.
What other things should I react to
when it comes to "Bridgerton?"
What do you wanna pick my brain about?
Let me know in the comments below.
Until next time, keep shining folks.
We need your light.
Speaking of "Bridgerton,"
I got another video for you on that very subject right here.
Right here.
Watchy watchy, clicky clicky.