- In this video
I'm gonna show you why not giving a fuck,
will make you way more irresistible,
will magnetize your energy
in a very powerful way.
And I'm gonna show you exactly how to do it in this video.
Now, the first thing to understand about this concept
is that when we talk about value and emitting out value,
understand that people that value certain things
come off more needy.
People that value other people's validation and approval,
they are emitting out where they really,
really give a shit about what people think about them.
They really, really care
if other people are giving them validation or attention
and because they are seeking that approval,
because they are seeking and they value those things
and they want other people to reflect that back to them,
they then put these things on a pedestal.
And what ends up happening is
from that they then end up creating needy energy.
Now, the degree to which you are not needy,
is the degree to which you are magnetic or attractive.
The more attractive you will be, the less needy you will be.
But neediness stems from giving shit
about the things that do not serve you,
about giving a shit about things
that are literally having you
put other people on a pedestal.
I said, pedestal, this time, not pedestool,
'cause some of you sometimes correct me
in my YouTube videos, but I don't care.
But I did, I do acknowledge that that is the word, right?
For this though, there's a book,
it's called, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck".
And it's a very powerful book because it basically talks
about all the things that we really, really care about.
The things that we're really, really attached to.
And it shows that in life,
we are going to be attached to something.
We are going to value something.
Most people though, are valuing things
that their parents valued.
And that's the only reason they valued them.
My dad was a nice guy.
Still is a nice guy.
And part of being nice is some people
look at that and go, well, that's a really good thing.
Being nice though,
a lot of times is I'm going to be nice to you
because there's conditional energy there.
And if I'm nice to you,
then you're gonna be nice back to me.
I'm going to avoid tension and tell you
what I think you wanna hear,
even though it's not maybe vulnerable or authentic,
as long as in exchange, you're nice to me,
because I don't want you to be not nice.
So of course my dad then attracted my ex stepmom who was not
nice at all because that was the polar opposite.
My stepmom's narcissist, abusive physically,
mentally, emotionally and that to him was something
that I think it was the polar opposite.
That's why he attracted it.
And then in my life, what I had to learn to do is to let go
of valuing other people's approval.
Other people's validation.
I had to let that go
and realize it doesn't actually serve me,
because the thing is,
is when it comes to being a people pleaser,
when it comes to being a nice guy or a nice girl,
when it comes to validating
or wanting the validation, the approval in these things,
the idea is that if I am this way,
then I will get these things in exchange.
But that is what repels love.
That is what is actually manipulative energy as well.
It's trying to manipulate people and see,
the thing is when you're a nice guy
or a people pleaser, you become a magnet to narcissists,
because narcissists are also manipulative.
So one's manipulating to get, say,
I give you this and in exchange,
you will give me validation and approval.
And the narcissist says, I'm gonna manipulate you
or gaslight you into giving me what I want
and to take I'll take it.
And they're both formed under a similar trauma.
Now, the reason I'm sharing this
is because the difference is in the value,
what these people value.
If somebody values approval and validation,
they will change themselves and do whatever they can
in order to get that in exchange.
And if somebody values being certain,
of these are by the way based in insecurity,
there's an insecure feeling there.
And in order to compensate, they try to control.
One tries to control other people's perceptions
by being nice and giving,
in exchange because you probably wouldn't give,
if you started giving somebody something
and you wanted to exchange,
you wanted them to approve
of your validating and they don't do that,
you're probably gonna stop giving it to them.
But I was nice to this person,
and they were not nice back to me,
but maybe that being nice,
wasn't actually authentic, right?
So when we talk about attachment
we talk about giving a shit.
If you give a shit what people think
about you is because you value what people think about you.
You may even internalize and say,
I am what other people think about me.
So the key to this is becoming aware of why do I value that?
One of the reasons you might value that,
a lot of times this is the case ,
is because you craved that growing up and didn't receive it.
You may have craved your mom
or your dad to validate you,
your siblings to validate you,
to accept you, to approve of you.
And because they didn't, that became your number
one thing that you are now trying everything you can
to get because you're trying to close
the loop from childhood.
So not giving a fuck is literally
about becoming aware that at a certain point in your past
you may have valued this thing.
And you may have also began to abandon yourself
in order to get your needs met,
in order to not be abandoned.
So I'll say I'm not gonna get abandoned
or rejected by other people.
So I'm gonna be perfect.
I'm gonna be the way everyone wants me to be.
The challenge is, is that's almost impossible to do
because everyone has a different expectation of you.
And then you end up abandoning yourself
to make everybody else happy.
So the answer to a lot of what I'm sharing so far
in the video is that the answer is to stop giving
a shit about things that your parents
gave a shit about that you maybe just took on and said,
oh, I need to care about this too.
And realize that what this really
is about is this is messed up values.
It's having messed up values,
where you value things that you are unaware
of that are causing you to then be
in this little bubble where you're trying
to avoid rejection.
You're trying to avoid, honestly,
you're trying to avoid being vulnerable.
Showing the real you.
One of the biggest transformations I've experienced
in my life is when I stopped caring so much
about what other people thought,
and started caring more about being in my own energy.
I started caring more about the integrity I was living by.
I realized that the nice guy people pleaser version of me
was not living in integrity.
I was being inauthentic.
If somebody wanted me to go to a party or go travel
to a different state or something like that to go with them
and I didn't want to or I had other things going on,
I didn't even see it as an option to say no,
but eventually what happened is I started tapping
inside my own body.
I started saying, what do I wanna do?
And then I had to be vulnerable sometimes.
I'd be like, listen, I don't want to go do this.
Or I can't because I'm busy and I have other priorities.
And as I started to be vulnerable and show my heart,
it was a totally different ballgame.
People started to respect me more.
I felt more in my own center, more in my own frame.
And I started living by higher ideals.
So really when you give a shit,
realize you're gonna give a about something.
You're gonna give a shit about something.
So put that something into a way you prefer to be.
For example, I used to live
by the values of approval and validation,
being a nice person, being a nice guy,
giving a lot of value
because that meant I was finally worthy.
Even sometimes in making YouTube videos,
I had put so much pressure
on me to make so many YouTube videos,
because I need to be valuable
to the people that watch me or they're gonna leave me.
They're gonna stop watching my videos.
I need to be valuable because otherwise I'm not worthy.
So in a way I was trying to compensate
for a feeling inside of myself,
where I felt like maybe I'm not worthy.
Maybe there's something inside of me that feels
like I have to overcompensate.
And as I became aware of this, I started realizing
that this was rooted in getting my sense of value,
not out of who I am, but what I do.
And what I had to eventually do is realize that,
hey, I'm living by the values of approval and validation
and seeking that value from other outside sources.
And I'm abandoning myself in the process.
And what I'm really trying to avoid
by doing this is avoiding real vulnerability.
I was like afraid of what other people would think about me.
I was afraid that I'd be judged
and that ended up becoming something
that was something that I would value
and then I become aware of it.
And then I said, you know what?
I'm gonna live by my own integrity.
And that meant for me, I'm going to live
by vulnerability and authenticity over anything,
even if that means I have to say things
or be a certain way that triggers other people.
That's an example that I share.
Even as I share this with you right now,
I'll share with you something that I've been afraid.
Just as an example, something I've been afraid
to share with my audience.
Back in the day, I used to be vegan.
I, for years was actually vegan,
where I would only eat vegan food.
And what ended up happening is over a period of time
I noticed that certain parts of my health,
certain things about myself, just it wasn't,
I wasn't as optimal.
And I eventually made the choice
to start eating meat, again.
I first started eating fish and chicken
and then even more recently, not even more recently,
but as of the last two or three years
I ate a lot of bison and that's something I've been afraid.
I don't, remember, back in the day,
I used to share my food
on my Instagram and stuff like that.
I kind of stopped doing that because I started
to really give a about what other people thought of me,
especially knowing that a lot
of my audience may be vegetarian or vegan.
And they may judge me,
because I'm not that way anymore.
But in a certain way,
what I'm learning to do is really detach,
because I have unconditional acceptance of people.
I don't expect everyone to have that unconditional
acceptance of me,
but at the same time,
I don't judge people, whether they're vegan or not vegan.
So I just live by that integrity.
I live by that integrity, that knowing,
that maybe I, doesn't.
So I live by that integrity
and knowing that maybe not everyone else
is gonna hold onto that same thing.
Maybe some people are like, screw you, you eat meat.
Oh my God.
But guess what?
That would be conditional if I did.
Does that make sense?
It'd be conditional.
If I was like, you need to be this way because I'm this way,
which is a lot of times what many vegans may do.
Not all of them, but many may say you are only accepted
if you do this or ashamed if you do something
the opposite of what I believe.
However, and not that I'm trying to justify it or anything,
but I have friends that were vegan
for 15 years and their has fallen out now
and weird health, biological things are happening.
So another reason why I made that switch.
Not that I need to justify it,
maybe now you're just trying to justify too much,
but I'm aware that that for me was a vulnerable share
of something I wanted to share with you.
I didn't, even, by the way,
when I started this video,
I had no idea I was gonna share that,
but I wanted to not only explain to you in this video,
the concepts I'm sharing about,
but also bring you through my own process.
So you can kind of see how that works.
Because I value vulnerability and authenticity
over the validation and approval of other people
that are watching,
knowing that there's a certain sector of my audience,
may not even be as many as I thought,
but I know back in the day when I was making videos
there was this guilt that I had around not
being vegan anymore.
So I just didn't share my stuff on it.
'Cause I didn't wanna polar, it's very polarizing,
a lot of times, people that are vegan,
they may really not like it when somebody else isn't.
And some people may even have the connotation
that if you're a spiritual person,
then you live by this ideal.
And what I've learned is just to go
according to my own rhythm, be who I am unapologetically.
And that has changed so much in my life,
since I have been living by the values of vulnerability
and authenticity over that of approval and validation
and the way I'm showing up right now,
by expressing that to you right now,
is a way that I'm doing that in my life.
Now, when it comes to not giving a shit,
it's about becoming aware of your values,
letting go of the past you and wiring in a new you
and not falling back to the old self.
And one of the most powerful ways to do that
is to have accountability.
That's why I dunno if you've ever seen it,
but I have these 21 day challenges where we go
through 21 days of transformation and we do it as a group.
And there's accountability,
those things you actually do to wire that in.
But over the course of 21 days,
your whole entire identity transforms.
Now, something I've done is I've turned the 21 day challenge
into a monthly container called magnetic mastery membership.
So if you wanna join a community
of like-minded people all focused on wired
in the most magnetic, authentic high vibrational selves,
without falling back to the old patterns,
we do that through weekly accountability calls
where I go live every week,
I bring people on, I coach people live.
And then also we have accountability groups
that we get into share our goals,
to share what we're learning, to become more vulnerable.
And it's been a complete game changer.
I've opened.
It's only been open three weeks
from the time of recording this video.
But if you wanna join
the highest vibrational community on the planet,
become the highest vibrational most
magnetic you without falling back to the old pattern,
then click the link below
or go to www.magneticmastery.com, join right now.
And also, if you want a video
that's gonna show you the five secrets
to letting go that make you magnetic AF,
this is the best video to watch now.
Watch it right here.
In this video, I wanna share you five
five secrets to letting go that will make you more
attractive and that will completely transform your life.
And when you start applying them, it changes everything,
because you start realizing who you really are
and you start letting go of what you are not.