-Hi. In this video, I'm going to explain
why it's so important to set boundaries with a man.
[music]
Hi there. Mat Shaffer, your connection,
empowerment and relationship coach,
to talk to you about why it's so important to set boundaries with a man
that you're getting to know or that you're in relationship with.
I'm looking forward to getting into this topic with you.
Before we do, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
be sure to hit the little bell,
and don't forget to click the link in the comments or caption of this video.
I've got a great training set up for you that I know
you're going to absolutely love.
It's going to really help your relationships.
Let's dive into this.
Why are boundaries so important?
First off, we're doing this video
because so many of my clients and women that I know in my life,
they have a lot of resistance around setting boundaries,
and maybe you're one of them too.
Why are we so resistant?
Why are women particularly so resistant to setting boundaries with men?
They don't want to be perceived as mean.
They don't want to be perceived as masculine.
They're concerned that if they try to set up boundaries like try to tell
a man what to do that they are going to be turning him off or pushing him away.
The bottom line is that's not actually true.
Men need boundaries.
If you set boundaries the right way,
they're going to actually make your man feel more masculine
and more comfortable within the relationship.
Let's talk about why boundaries are so important for men.
First off, it's important to understand that men need structure and guidance.
They crave it, they want it.
I want you to think of yourself as the conductor of an orchestra.
As a woman, you are that conductor, you are that guiding, inviting force.
A man is looking to you for guidance and structure.
You have an ability to give him that by setting boundaries physically,
by setting boundaries emotionally.
Give him a structure to work within,
and he's actually going to be more relaxed and more comfortable in being himself.
Another reason boundaries are so important is because men
want to do things that make you happy.
Men want to be in action towards making you happy.
By you giving them boundaries, by using, "Hey, I like this."--
Boundaries don't have to be, "Don't do that."
I encourage that you set boundaries that are actually positive boundaries.
"I like it when we go out once or twice a week and have adventures."
"I like it when you touch me there."
You're setting positive boundaries around what you would like him to do,
and you're giving him targets to shoot for,
things he can do that he knows are going to make you happy.
You're actually incentivizing him to behave in a way that you really like,
and that makes him feel good about himself.
Probably the most important reason that boundaries are so important with men
in relationship is that they short circuit and diffuse conflict,
unnecessary conflict.
Here's the thing. Men aren't mind readers.
Unless we know what your boundaries are,
you can't assume that we're going to be able to honor them.
Few things are more frustrating for men than overstepping boundaries
that we didn't know existed, and then all of a sudden,
we're in a fight because we didn't do something that you really wanted us to do,
or it is something that you didn't want us to do.
We didn't know, but now we are in trouble,
and then our momma trauma gets activated, and it ends up being a mess.
By setting and establishing boundaries around what you like
and what you don't like, you're actually giving him
that container to operate from within and incentivizing him to do
the things that are going to make you happy,
and your relationship's going to go a lot smoother and a lot less conflict
and be beneficial and better for both of you.
The next time you find yourself feeling resistant or scared
around owning your voice and establishing boundaries
with a man in your life, remember, he actually wants and needs boundaries.
They will actually make your relationship flows smoother.
He'll be more in his masculine.
He'll be more relaxed.
You'll have less conflict.
You will get more of what it is that you want,
what it is that you craving in relationship,
which is a confident, relaxed,
masculine man who's striving to do the things that you want him to do
in doing far less of the things that you don't want him to do.
I hope this video resonated with you.
If it did, take a second, hit that little subscribe button,
and click the link in the comment and captions.
I've created some great training that I know you're going to love.
It's really going to support you in having better relationship with men.
Thank you so much for stopping by,
and I'll see you next time on my YouTube channel.