[Achievement Hunter theme song]
[Rage Quit theme song]
Alright. So I can be Grant or the raptor.
Well that's good to know. So I'll definitely do some raptor levels.
Because I'll get my ass kicked doing that too.
That's it, no Ellie?
Just Grant or the raptor?
What kinda sexist shit is that?
This raptor better be a chick.
I think they all are, right?
Didn't they say all the animals, all the dinosaurs were chicks?
But then how did the babies get born?
It don't make no sense!
I didn't really start yet, but I should've.
Yeah?
I don't remember that from the movie.
Welcome to the continuing theme of this week
Dino week.
Playing a little bit of Jurassic Park for the Sega Genesis.
Okay, so this is just like the movie
Right at the beginning - BAM.
T-Rex.
Lightning hits the cage.
He's out and he's pissed.
The Rex ... The Rex has demolished your car.
So, okay, just no!
Oh fuck, don't shoot that guy.
I hit the wrong button , no!
Bup, boop, okay.
That's - you gotta get ahold of yourself dude.
I - I don't have - ow. Get the fuck off!
Get off! Get off!
I do not have that many bullets to just be wasting things so I think you just gotta shoot people and
And he didn't care, he didn't care.
Oh I wasted that one.
Oh god!
Ohhhhhh fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Ow.
And I'm fine? From that?
Alright.
I will shoot the shit out of you.
Ah, ah!
Ah, no I won't.
Alright.
Alright, can I shoot up?
Yeah, I can I guess I should have waited until they were over me.
Ugh.
Ugh, fucker.
Come here.
You goddamn flying birds.
Ugh.
Most birds, I guess most birds do fly.
Uhh, oh!
Grab the vine.
Jesus Christ, Grant you son of a bitch.
Okay, stop, stop letting go.
This is - no - oh god, Grant nooo, you fuck.
Stop letting go you motherfucker.
Oh just run, just run, just run.
Just - just go.
Go, crawl, crawl.
Crawl, you bitch.
Ohh shit.
Oh this thing's gonna fucking bite me.
Trying to bite my dick.
Aw come on!
You - you fuck.
Alright I'm gonna not shoot this guy in the fucking face this time - he still didn't care!
I was trying to get over you.
Just - just let it happen.
Motherfucker.
Oh fuck.
Holy shit!
It was like a tear gas.
Yeah, ugh. Yeah.
Nope, no. No, no, no, no.
Oh god, it was so good they did it in slow-mo.
And they cut me from the gymnastics team?
Okay so if I hold up he's on there, right?
And then if I hold left, he goes but he falls!
Grant!
Dammit!
Can I just jump?
Nope!
I'm just - oh god, no.
Make it stop, make it stop!
Grant! Grant! Get up there!
Get - get, alright fuck it. No.
Stop. I don't got time for this!
No! You're gonna get killed by that thing! Goddamn it!
No, stop.
Oww, ow, ow, ow, ow.
I didn't even get the grenades.
Ugh, oh god, he didn't give a shit.
Fuck you!
Fuck you, you monster. You fucking monster!
Go to sleep, you fuck.
Now, is he respawning or is he just waking up? Does that wear off? Is that what's happening?
Get the fuck away from me you little bitch!
This c button Kadin it's great look at it go!
I'm not holding the controller right now and he's fucking jumping.
Where am I going?
Wait, am I - back up?
What?
Alright.
One of those deals, huh?
There we go, do that.
Ahhhhhhhh
Fuuuuuuuuuuck
Go, go, go, go. Grant!
No, you dumb fuck - what're you - nooo!
[pants heavily]
Go, go, go, go.
Oh god, oh my god.
Oh god, no.
Oh get out of there, get out of the bramble.
So what are the odds I go down and I die.
Do I need to go down?
Because the screen won't move down anymore.
I feel like I'll be dead.
But what the fuck was the point in coming over here?
Just to get the health?
Where the hell am I going?
OH GODDAMMIT.
GODDAMMIT.
GODDAMMIT, GRANT.
Eating the grenades now, is that what you're doing?
You fucking piece of shit.
You motherfucker!
Just let me get him so I can hit you with him and kill you.
I hate - I fucking hate dinosaurs.
[grunts]
Oh you fucking piece of shit.
You fuck. Oh god!
No, don't do that again!
Ahhh ahhhh!
The boulder!
Goddammit.
You fucking nerd. Grant, you fucking nerd.
I didn't even make it to the one level I described.
Maybe we'll see it in the demo if I let the screen roll here.
I definitely never made it this far.
Now see in the movie, I would imagine this is near the end, you know?
When they have to like, turn the power back on and they're in the power station and
Samuel Jackson's arm is there and they're like, Ray!
But I definitely have never made it this far in the game.
But you can pretend like I did. Look - look how far I made it!
Let's try one more time. We'll see if we get that raft.
So we got the sewer so far, we got the power station
I'm feeling pretty lucky.
I'm feeling like we're gonna get that raft.
Yup, yup! There it is!
So this is the part that I didn't get to because I'm terrible but it's in the game.
Look at this guy.
I don't remember this from the movie.
Do you?
But it sure is fucking exciting killing - fucking T-Rex head down there is
The frame rate can't handle it - everything is going nuts. Better get the gasoline.
Grant get the gasoline.
For the boat.
Because you need it for the boat.
Get to - Get to Lex!
Tim no!
That was a colossal failure.
But what I discovered before I started is that's not the only way you can fail.
You can also be a raptor. So let's fucking do that.
I'm fucking stalking Grant? Dude let me tell you
If killing Grant was my mission - done. Nailed it.
Got 'em.
I'll fucking kick these little bitches. Come here. Get kicked.
I got - I got talk
Which doubles as snap.
Kick, kick. Lunge.
Holy shit, I killed him too.
And jump, how do I eat you?
I assume if I need health I can eat them?
Whoa, the guy's got a fucking rocket launcher.
Fuck you, fuck you.
Eat him. Eat him!
Eat him!
Just stop killing yourself.
You - no, you're gonna die.
You're dead.
You didn't climb on the ledge - why didn't you climb on the ledge?
You stupid dinosaur.
Goddamn.
Goddammit. It's definitely your fault, not mine.
Is that Grant?
What?
Well that was easy.
Well ... maybe not easy.
Maybe doable?
All I gotta do, all I gotta do is drop - okay, stop.
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
That's - I - I just had it was -
[groans]
Fuck!
I just wanted to fucking eat Grant.
He was gonna run away through that door anyway.
But I figured I'd get to the next level.
No! I want to be the dinosaur again, not this motherfucker!
Fuck this prick!
He's a piece of shit and he sucks!
If you liked watching me get the shit kicked out of me in this, click on Grant to see me get the shit kicked out of me in something else!
Or click on the raptor for me to do amazing in something.
Good luck finding that video.