- Hey, do you wanna know what eight phrases are
that will silence those narcissists
so they have nothing more to say to you?
By the end of this video,
you're gonna have 'em so stay tuned.
Hi, my name is Rebecca Zung, I've been recognized
as one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country
and I've written a couple of bestselling books,
"Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R."
and "Breaking Free, A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide."
And what I do here is I teach you how to negotiate
with narcissists, that's my specialty, that's my passion.
And if you are so ready to turn it around
so that you are finally the one who's in control
either in a business setting or personal setting
go ahead and subscribe to my channel now
so that you can get educated on what to do.
Okay, so let's talk about those phrases
to shut down narcissists that silence them
and get them to stop with what they're doing with you.
All right, so the first one is, may surprise you actually,
and that is, "I agree with you,"
you know, sometimes you can just say, "I agree with you,"
and you're not actually really even agreeing with them.
You can even say things like,
"I agree that that's what you think.
I agree that that's your perception.
I agree that that's what you just said."
You don't even have to say anything,
you're really not even agreeing with anything.
But you can just say, "I agree with you,"
and you do have to be careful sometimes
if you're gonna agree with them and you can say,
"Yep, I agree, I am a terrible mother,"
or "I agree I'm awful in business," or something like that.
You just have to be careful that you don't agree
with things like that that could potentially
hurt you down the road.
You certainly, definitely don't wanna agree
to any of these things in writing that will, you know...
Because remember every writing is a potential trial exhibit,
everything you put your hand to,
just a little side note, a little tip there for you.
So, you know, just remember that narcissists
are using certain phrases to manipulate you all the time.
And so there's a way that you can kind of
ethically manipulate the manipulator by shifting it around.
And if you do wanna know more
about phrases that narcissists use to manipulate you,
definitely check out my video on that topic.
So, number one is, "I agree with you."
Number two is, "I'm sorry that that's what you think."
You basically, it's sort of the same kind of principle as
"I agree with you."
You're not really saying, you're sorry.
You're saying, "I'm sorry that's what you think.
I'm sorry, that's what you believe.
I'm sorry that we are in this situation.
I'm sorry that this happened.
I'm sorry that we aren't able to agree on anything.
I'm sorry that, you know, we seem to be so far apart
in our positions," you know.
Just both, "I agree with you," and "I'm sorry,"
are just sort of ways that kind of disarm them.
They're thrown off by that just a little bit.
And it also gives them some of that adulation
that they desperately need, because they're always
you know, on the hunt for that narcissistic supply.
So those are the first two.
"I agree with you," and, "I'm sorry,
I'm sorry that's what you think.
I'm sorry that we're here."
So that's number two.
Number three is, "You have every right to your opinions."
Again, you're kind of taking yourself out of this situation.
You wanna start to get to a place where you're not engaged,
where you're not triggered,
where you're not emotionally pulled into this thing.
Narcissists are trying really hard to trigger you
especially in negotiations
because they wanna try to get you, you know.
Negotiating with a narcissist is like getting arrested.
Everything you say and do
will definitely be used against you.
So you wanna make sure that you are disengaging
and putting yourself in a place where you're just
almost kind of observing the situation.
And by saying things like,
"You have a right to your opinion,"
you're almost taking yourself out of the situation
and just observing them.
So that's number three.
Number four is in that same vein
as far as the emotional side of things.
It's, "I can see that you are,"
and then insert whatever it is.
You're observing them.
"I can see that you are angry.
I can see that you are frustrated.
I can see that you are upset."
By doing this you are actually acknowledging their feelings
which they want, you know,
they want to be the center of attention.
And it also helps you
because you are now starting to disengage.
You are observing the situation
and the more you can do that, as I said,
the more power you will have.
The more emotionally charged you are
the less power you have, the less leverage you have.
Remember, you're trying to create leverage
in this situation.
And if you wanna know more about creating leverage
in negotiations with a narcissist
definitely check out my video on that topic as well.
But you know, sometimes you'll even start
to see them break down.
You'll start to see them collapse.
And you know, that will actually start to help you.
The more you start to silence them,
the more you start to shut them down,
the less control they'll have
and the more mistakes
they will actually start to make, okay.
So the next one is, "If you wanna talk now
then I will insist that you are calm and respectful."
That's really, really important
that you are setting those boundaries.
That you are making sure you're drawing a line in the sand.
And by the way, if you are so ready to set boundaries,
give me a set boundaries in the comments below,
just write set boundaries
so that you can remind yourself
that that's what you're starting to do here.
That you're starting to disengage.
So, you know, you can say,
"I'm willing to negotiate a contract with you.
I'm willing to negotiate this deal with you
but there are certain things that are just not negotiable.
and my self-respect that ain't negotiable,"
Okay, so set boundaries, right?
Okay, next one is, "I believe that's how you feel."
So again, you're saying, "I believe you
I believe that's how you feel.
I believe that's your perception.
I believe that's your position.
I believe that that's what you think happened."
All of those things are acknowledging what they're saying
but you're not really doing anything.
So, but it helps to silence them,
it helps to shut them down
because they don't know what to do with that.
They know what to do with pushing against you
because then they can push back and they can manipulate back
and they can do underhanded things
and that's what they want.
They want to drag you down into that mud with them.
So the next one is, "That's an interesting perspective."
You're not saying anything with that
other than, "I heard that you said words," right?
It's like, "That's an interesting perspective,
okay, that's what you said, got it."
All right, so that's the next one.
And the next one is,
"This approach or this conversation is not working for me."
And so, you know and I have said that I mean,
I said that to a lawyer one time
who wanted me to become a partner in his particular firm.
And I was like, "Listen I really like you.
And I love your practice and your partners or whatever.
But you know, this situation is not working for me.
The situation is not gonna work for me."
And you know, there's really nothing you can say
back to that.
I mean you're not accusing the other person
of doing anything.
You're not saying you are wrong for me.
You're saying, "The situation doesn't work for me."
And again, or, "The approach doesn't work for me,"
or "This conversation is not working for me."
Again keeping your self-respect, your dignity,
your self-worth right up here, right at the forefront.
Those things are not negotiable.
Certain things are negotiable, those are not negotiable.
So those are the eight phrases that I have for you
that will silence those narcissists.
They won't know what to do with it, it'll wobble them,
It'll take them off their game.
It'll help you actually feel much more powerful
in the negotiations.
So if you were getting ready to negotiate
and you haven't grabbed my free
crush my negotiation prep worksheet.
Make sure you do that now at winmynegotiation.com
and also come join my free private Facebook group
at Narcissist Negotiators at Rebecca Zung
and we'll drop links to all this stuff below as well.
And if you like the video, give it a like, give it a share,
drop me a comment.
We'd love to know what your favorite phrases are
to silence narcissists.
What do you say to silence them?
Or which phrase did you like the best here?
Or tell me that you're gonna set boundaries.
And if you haven't subscribed to my channel
now's a good time to do that.
Subscribe, hit that notification bell.
And remember as always that today's a great day
to start negotiating your best life.
Life is too short, let's do this.
I got your back, we're in this together
and I will see you in the next video.