- All right, everybody, let's welcome my first guest.
She's one of our favorites.
Her presence feels like a present in itself.
Her podcast is called Good for You.
Let's give it up for Whitney Cummings, everybody.
(upbeat playful music) (audience cheers)
She was like, she was like, whoops, sorry.
Here's the thing.
I was like, oh my God,
you're gonna do the whole thing in red,
you look fabulous.
And they even took it off and you actually look
so rock and roll and fabulous. - Thank you.
And you're, give me the dress right now.
Take it off, right now. - Okay,
it might be a little big for you.
- Hi guys.
I also had my Christmas earing, ornament earrings to wear,
but I lost one.
- [Kelly] Oh, that sucks.
- But it's good because you know, when they close up.
- Yeah, and then one ear does and one ear doesn't.
- And then you have to re-pierce it.
- I need to do that over here.
That's so funny, my second hole,
I tried so hard and I was like,
it's not really working. - Should we do it right now?
- No, we shouldn't - Come on television.
- No.
- This is the only side you guys are gonna see,
so I'll just do one.
- Yeah, it's actually rock and roll,
sometimes if you do that earring
and then do like a stud or something with the other,
it's pretty rock and roll.
- Musicians can do that,
but for other people,
we just look like we're drug addicts.
- You look like a musician right now,
so yeah. - Thank you, I love that.
You know, it's every Canadian's dream to a musician.
- Oh is it? (laughs)
- And every musician--
- Is to be a comedian.
That is true, that is true. - Kind of.
Am I too close? - You had pink hair.
No, I think you're fine.
I think it's a weird time.
Do you have a wolf on your shirt?
- I do.
- [Kelly] Oh my gosh.
I love your whole outfit.
I'm so jealous of you're outfit right now.
- Me too, honestly, so am I.
- That is a fabulous number.
- Benton Ray from Nashville who was on the podcast
with me makes our merch and wanted to do gas station,
'cause I only wear gas station T-shirts
and vintage T-shirts from Star Struck Vintage in Nashville,
and we made one based on that.
'Cause I always say wild.
- Oh my God, gas station.
- And I'm giving it to everyone for Christmas.
- Oh my gosh, I love it.
- Not a car, you don't get a car.
You don't get a car.
No one gets a car. - You don't get a car.
You get a gas station T-shirt. - No body gets
a car, you get a gas station T-shirt.
- That's what kind of budget we're rolling on.
- When you fill up your car,
you can get it at the gas station
that you bought yourself. - So you have
to give me money first.
- You had pink hair last time.
- I had pink hair last time, now I have blue hair.
- [Kelly] I love the blue hair.
- I don't, the thought process,
I dyed my hair pink mostly because we are
in a time right now where
- Not a lot of control over things.
- Not a lot of control over things (laughs)
Not a lot of birth control,
but that's another, we'll get there.
I, so many people can't work,
and my hair person can't do hair.
And it's gonna make me tear up because I was like,
what's the most expensive thing you can do
and charge me for it?
And come over and let's do tests
and then do it in masks
and do something expensive.
- That is really kind.
- I'm the best.
- I'm the best. (laughs) - I know,
I'm just America's sweetheart.
She's the villain.
- I am the villain.
- Yeah.
- Here's the thing.
I heard that you were concerned
about colors and which color to wear.
So you're gonna look great in this next number
because it's your fourth time here,
and so every time someone comes
- Wild. - And so this is gonna be
a really egocentric gift, get ready.
But I just think you're gonna be
so excited about it. - Which, by the way.
Can I tell you something about Kelly Clarkson?
Can I tell you something
about Kelly Clarkson? - Oh no.
- Every talk show gives gift bags, these big gift bags
with the mug and the this and that this,
and it's all very informal,
and they don't even know they're giving it to you,
and it's sponsored and it's free,
and it's impersonal, not intimate at all.
Kelly gives a record.
- A vinyl record that I pick out.
- A vinyl record that she picks out folks,
Red Hot Chili Peppers for me,
Alana's Morissette was one,
which I think made me like bawl my eyes out.
And then a
mug. - I just gave you,
I just gave you a Christmas one.
- I haven't opened it yet.
- I gave you a Christmas one.
- 'Cause I was in a frazzled state.
- I think it was Beach Boys Christmas,
I gave you this one.
- And she signs it herself.
No one in this business has ever done it.
Never done it.
- Oh, I didn't know that actually.
(audience applauds) - Never done it.
Have you ever gone on the show and gotten that from anyone?
- Nope, I don't,
I guess I didn't really think about it, I guess.
Yeah, I just-- - it's all I think about.
- I'm super Southern, so I bet,
well now this is, now everything,
I'm glad you set me up like that
because this gift is well, it's kind of vain.
I don't know if you can touch it
because of COVID. - Oh my god.
Oh my god, I love you. - Can she touch it?
- Are you single?
- I am single, look at my shirt.
Do you like gas stations?
- Oh, by the way, I did have to cut this. (laughs)
- [Kelly] I do too.
Do you do it for
the same reason? - It was.
- I do it because of the lines.
- No, it'll be like stuffed in.
- [Kelly] Yes, and then it'll be
a weird. - It looks like a weird.
- [Kelly] I do that. - A pup tent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
(everyone laughs)
So I had to cut it
as we were walking - I cut mine as well.
- To the stage, I was doing this with scissors,
and they were like, "Ma'am, ma'am, ma'am."
- I do that, I also do that.
'Cause I'm always like,
uh I've had children. - I have a short torso.
- I have a long torso, but I've had children,
so I don't need any more poof there.
- [Whitney] Oh my god.
- So I cut them as well.
- It's so, anyway.
- [Kelly] But you're gonna look fabulous
in this Team Kelly jacket.
- Is it a, it's a jacket?
- [Kelly] In purple. - Oh my god.
- That's an accepted color
for everyone. - Have you ever in.
I am gonna get so much money for this on Ebay.
You guys.
Dead.
I am going to crush.
- No, because here's the thing,
I have these jackets,
I was like, man, what should I do with them?
And then, 'cause we don't want to give them away,
now you're officially team Kelly.
Sorry Blake.
- I'm dead.
- Sorry, John. - I'm dead.
- Sorry Gwen.
See, you look kind
of rock and roll. - It's so good.
- [Kelly] It's really, you look good in it.
- Maybe my next hair color is this purple.
- [Kelly] Maybe it is.
- And it's Team Kelly.
- And by the way, we kind of skipped over that,
but that's actually really kind of you.
'Cause people are really struggling financially,
that's really kind.
- To what?
- To pay for her to do your hair,
and you just keep getting it done.
- Oh we're back to that, yeah yeah.
- I'm just saying that's really kind.
- I am aware of that.
That's why I did it.
- [Kelly] You keep being funny about it.
- That's why I did it.
- Well wait, wait, wait.
- That's something you would do,
that's something you would do.
And then you would go, but I'm a narcissist.
This is the kindest thing ever.
You'd be like, well it's so vain.
I had someone come do my hair
so that I could get
more attention. - I feel weird giving away.
You've nailed me, exactly.
So we were (laughs)
and by the way, it's always easy to pick your vinyl
'cause we're the same age.
So I was like, what would I want?
- I don't think we are.
- I'm 38.
- Oh, no way, that's right.
- Why do you think so much younger than me?
- I don't at all
actually. - I disagree.
- You're lying.
You're kind, you look great in my jacket.
- Do you want it back?
- No, no, I don't look that good in it.
So you're still doing your podcast, Good for You.
- [Whitney] Still doing the podcast.
- That's amazing,
it's hilarious. - Thank you, thank you.
- Have you had a favorite guest lately?
- You haven't done it, so I don't yet.
- I don't feel like I've been asked.
I literally was reading the script, going.
- You actually haven't been
because I don't want
you on it. - I was like, I don't think
I've been asked.
- It's just like, it's fine,
I'm just like, I don't think we have chemistry.
No, I just know how busy you are.
And I know.
- That's kind.
- I know,
next year. - See you're
a really good person
that thinks like that. - [Whitney] Next year.
- Well, who have you had on that you've loved.
- My God.
I just had Kesha on. - [Kelly] Oh really?
- I just had Meghan Trainor on.
I just had Dave Grohl and Fred Armisen.
- Dave Grohl, really nice.
- The nicest.
It's frustrating.
- He literally, I thought I'm a little pop kid
that won a talent show,
and I was such a fan of his,
Foo Fighters and Weezer, and they performed in Texas.
He literally pulled me
and my friends aside and were like,
"Hey y'all should sit here."
He sat us on the stage on road cases,
and we watched the show,
I was like, what's happening?
And I cannot believe you know my name
and aren't repulsed by me, 'cause I was the first one,
and everybody was like, you're not credible.
You're from a talent show.
And I'm like, okay, cool.
I wasn't aiming for that.
- Remember those days.
- No, that's what I'm saying.
But he was so nice.
That's what we're coming back to that thing
where you think a rock star would be the one
that would be a jerk to you.
- Yes.
- Nope, nicest guy.
- Stereotypes, for what?
- [Kelly] Exactly, let's just
throw them all away. - It's bad data.
- It's incorrect data.
- But when people do it,
they get to anesthetize and put someone in a compartment,
and they get to stop thinking about it.
It's just like a shortcut.
It's like a neural shortcut.
You know what I mean?
- Which is a shame
because you miss out on some cool people.
- That's a shame, I'm having Amanda Knox on.
- [Kelly] Amanda Knox, do it.
- I'm having Amanda Knox on soon,
Kaley Cuoco was just on.
- I love her.
- Alison Brie was just on.
All the amazing, David Oyelowo was just on,
Amber Riley was just on.
- [Kelly] That's so fun.
- I'm running out of--
- You're such a great conversationalist though,
so it's fun. - Thank you.
Bill Burr, no one I've dated has ever said that.
- Everyone I dated was
like shh. - They're all like
(groans) can stop talking at any point.
- [Kelly] Yeah me too, we have so much in common.