In all probability in your life,
you have experienced envy and possibly jealousy or you
know, somebody that experienced those two things,
or you've been in a relationship with somebody that's experiencing those two
things. I'd like to address exactly that. What is envy,
what is jealousy and how you can actually use them in a
constructive way. First of all,
envy is when you are perceiving something in somebody else
that you think that you admire, that you assume they have,
but you're too humble to admit you have. It's not that you're missing it.
You're not honoring and recognizing it in yourself.
So you assume they have something you don't. And so you therefore minimize you,
exaggerate them and envy what they have because you think they have a better
deal than you do. Now in fact, that's not always the case,
but that's how you perceive it.
And your reality is based on what you're perceiving.
Jealousy on the other hand is now you are having somebody
or yourself jealous of somebody,
because you're afraid that somebody could take away something you want.
Let's get an example.
Let's say you are dating a guy or a gal that you are
infatuated with and you wish you could be hold onto them,
you're afraid of losing them.
And now you see somebody that you think has something you don't,
and they could draw the attention to the person that you want to have your
relationship with.
And they spot that person and they notice that and they flirt with them and
they're affected by it.
And now you fear the loss of that which you're infatuated with.
You fear the loss of that which you want to hold onto.
And so you actually are afraid that somebody has more to offer that person
than you do. Therefore you retaliate and try to cut that person down.
And you're jealous of them. You've got the green-eyed monster of envy, I mean,
jealousy to try to destroy that person because they could take away what you
want. But you couldn't be wanting that and fear the loss of it if you weren't
infatuated with it and minimizing yourself.
If you're equal in power and you're not playing underdog,
and you really know that you have what they have, if somebody comes along,
you're not threatened by it.
And if you know that you have something more than the person that's coming
along, again you're not threatened by it.
So all these are reminders and feedback mechanisms to let you know where you're
minimizing yourself and infatuating other people.
And if you infatuate with other people and envy them and wish you could be like
them and playing underdog, there's a solution to that.
Let me give you two solutions first of all,
because jealousy could be a reminder and a catalyst
for you to empower your life. It doesn't have to be a bad thing.
Many people say, well, I've got jealousy, I'm jealous of this person,
everything else,
but that actually could be a reminder to catalyze growth in your life.
So if you see somebody that you look up to and you admire, and you envy,
and you wish you had what they had, well,
the wisest thing to do is to ask yourself;
where and when do you display or demonstrate or have what you perceive them
having? And look at the form that it's in.
We have the same things as other people do, but it's in different forms.
And if you're not honoring the form that you have it in and you're envying what
they have it in, you're going to minimize yourself and play underdog.
And you're now afraid of losing that connection,
and you can be vulnerable to jealousy.
And if you meet somebody that you think has more to offer than you do,
and they draw the attention of somebody you're in a relationship with,
and you're now get jealous, this could be a catalyst for you to go and ask;
What specifically do they have that you think you don't have?
Because as long as you're playing underdog to them, now you can be jealous.
So you could be envious of the person that you're afraid of losing and you could
be jealous of somebody that might take them away from you,
and also envying them without even consciously realizing it.
Because you're thinking they have something you don't, maybe better looks,
maybe more intelligent, maybe more wealth.
Anytime you see somebody that you think has something more than you,
it's wise to ask yourself;
Where and when do you demonstrate and display and have this trait,
this action, this behavior that you see in them to the same degree?
Where do you have wealth in your life, in the seven areas of your life?
If it's not in cash. Where do you have what they have?
Because the second you level the playing fields and own the traits of these
people you envy, you won't be jealous. You won't be jealous of the person.
If you know you have something equally of value to the person that's now
potentially drawing the attention and you know, for certain, you have it,
you don't feel jealous.
You realize that you have something to offer and if that person's not
recognizing it, if they go off with somebody else,
you're not frightened of losing them.
You only fear the loss of things you infatuate with. If you resent the person,
you don't fear their loss. If you love the person, you feel their presence,
but if you infatuate with them, now you're going to fear their loss.
So if you're minimizing yourself to somebody and envying them,
and then be also minimizing yourself to somebody who can threateningly take them
from you, you're an underdog.
And this is a catalyst for you to empower your life and to discover things that
you've missed in your life and not aware of in your life.
I always say that the level of the soul nothing's missing in us,
at the level of the senses things appear to be missing in us.
As long as we actually act as if there's something missing in us,
we're going to play underdog and we're going to be vulnerable to envy and
jealousy.
But if we go and take the people that we admire and find out what they have and
own it, 100% quantitatively, qualitatively to the same degree.
And I assure you this is doable because I've been doing it on 80,000 people over
the last 29 years and everything you can see in others, you have inside you,
but it's in a different form. You got to honor the form
yours is in and not exaggerate the form their's is in. And once you do,
you calm yourself down for both envy and jealousy,
but envy and jealousy can be a catalyst for you to empower your life and to
realize what you're not honoring in yourself.
And the more you value it in yourself and recognize it in yourself,
the more the world will. When you empower you, the world sees your power.
When you value yourself, the world values you too.
And when you realize nothing's missing in you,
the world around you sees you having something to offer and nothing missing in
you.
So use envy and jealousy as a catalyst to do something,
to empower your life. If you do,
you won't be having people on the outside run what you would love to do on the
inside.
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