why are we doing the end again
um it's so interesting because i think
when
every time we come back we like are at a
just like different point in our
relationship
and when we do it i think we
like it it's almost like it reaffirms
the fact that like
oh yeah you do have good communication
and i like
you even on our way here i was holding
your hand i was like
i love you i love you a lot i love you
too
i feel like you married me so i could
roll your roll my eyes at you
no you're just here to help me set up
jokes oh
wow that is the most expensive setup of
your life oh yeah no the punch line is
going to be the divorce proceedings
great you'll pay you'll be sure
uh what is the next step in our
relationship a baby
it's a baby yeah it's a baby we're we're
yeah we're getting there yeah
a human life we're responsible for
no big deal oh how is money
an issue in our relationship
uh that's a good question i feel like
it's becoming less and less of an issue
lately
if i'm being honest yeah i think
since you felt like you were able to
bring in income because i
was making more than you for so many
years i've noticed a change in your
self-esteem like in
terms of the relationship like how much
you feel like you're able to contribute
and be present
and like that's what's stabilized
in a really like emotionally yes man you
chilled the [ __ ] out
you really did like for you money
like when you are stressed about money i
feel like i'm walking on eggshells
and like i feel like once i like take
away the stress
you go okay and then i was like oh
there's
there's my husband i'm a person yeah
yeah i think we're getting to a place
with retirement where
it's not gonna be as scary
like i'm gonna have a 401k and i think
we're gonna be all right i want you to
make more decisions about your
retirement
there i really no it's been a long term
like that's a long term goal
six years i've been begging almost six
years i was i
i you are completely right you're not
getting a fight
why are we fighting it might be my
retirement
why is andrew on the street you didn't
save for retirement but you're still
married
yeah we're making it work like say for
damn
time save for your damn retirement our
retirement yeah we're doing it
when was the last time i pissed you off
in regards to my finances
to finances um i know the big one
oh yeah no i bet was that the last one
yeah it was probably when you made when
you put in an offer for the apartment
before i had
even seen it yes it was a great deal and
right now we're able to make decisions
because it was such a great deal you got
lucky
i didn't get lucky so i didn't get so
lucky i did go what if i went there and
i
hated it or there was something wrong or
we live in new
york you think new yorkers could be that
picky about our first
apartment there could have been
something foundationally wrong with it
that you didn't notice
it there and a thousand things right and
for at that price point at that price
point
i did i knew even if there was it was an
amazing
deal for an apartment just don't you
just you can't do that again
i have to see it i mean it cost us like
ten thousand dollars this time around
that's fine to wait ten thousand dollars
and not trust the fact i know new york
real estate
so my opinion doesn't count it's not
that it doesn't count i'm taking it into
my consideration when i see you place
your opinion's worth ten thousand
dollars
to some people
but you see how i waited if if the
situation were reversed how would you
feel
is it a good department are we gonna
make money on it
fine you say that but i have i have a
feeling if i like went and bought a car
didn't consult you you'd be mad
we don't need a car we live in new york
uh i know the answer to this one what's
the biggest reason we don't share a bank
account
because because we do i mean we have 37
in a joint bank account that's not
sharing
every month when it comes to like giving
maintenance you're like
can you ven mommy half the maintenance
or like can you write a check
or can you and i'm like this should be a
joint account thing
you and i both know that yeah you and i
both know we're not roommates
we're not [ __ ] buddies we're married
adults
a little both um no i think we have to
set up
how that yeah we we've got to tackle
that and i think we're doing it today so
it's
it's very well timed where do your
insecurities about money come from
and what can i do to help that's a good
question how much time do we have
that was my question oh was it
that's a good one um yeah because i want
i know you
um yeah no i mean it's it's we can do
like a whole documentary on that one
um yeah i come from uh you know my
family
was very middle class very working class
it's not like we wanted for anything
like we had a roof over our heads we had
food
we were fine you know a lot of people
didn't have that
so within all of that
there's still does it feel like it can
slip away is that
yeah i think it's kind of this idea of
there's you know when you don't have it
in abundance
it's a little more precious and i've
i remember even being a kid and like
being very
uh invested in holding on to
and saving money and like trying to you
know save up my allowance so i can buy
something big or or spend it on
something that i want to rather than
blow it right away and there's i think
that's definitely like a working
uh i don't know it's it's a mentality
that that i've adopted when i was very
young
i know it's well it's also like it's
been hard because you've made like
decisions
where like like the debit card thing to
this day
i don't understand how you didn't have a
debit card
to pay for things and you were accruing
all this credit card debt
instead of paying it down right away
yeah but not right away you were still
accruing like hundreds of
dollars a year of credit card debt
during your
brokest days and you wouldn't let me
help you pay for school
yeah i was like pride that's what i mean
like you have a lot of prayer i was like
let me help you pay for school i know
it's tight you're like
no i'd be like i have i have some extra
money coming in let me help you no and i
was like why
your education is our expenses no
i it's i don't know i don't i know we're
together but that's like
my i want to say that's my burden that's
my thing i should tell you was it your
birth
i married you your burden is my burden
my burden is
it's joint burdens like we have burdens
together
just like i mean it's
like you're very like split it down the
line 50 50
and i'm very much like hey are you okay
if i spend
the money on this thing that isn't
a need it's a want it's not practical
yeah and
you literally said it's your money and i
like how many times have i said i was
like it's not
my money it's our money it's our money
even my money's our money
i see it as our money i help pay for
things for you
if you fall down the stairs and i have
to pay for everything i will
that's it's weird i don't know i find it
weird when you ask for permission to buy
things with the money that you've earned
but it's our money it's we i don't know
how is it weird
it's our money we take care of you
learned it if you want to
if you've earned money on a gig and you
want to splurge it on something fun like
who am i to be like no you're my damn
husband
you're my partner you're my partner my
partner too it's our money
we've agreed we've agreed some [ __ ] goes
down
one of us can only work is it your money
my money it's our money it's our money
yeah all right i i just i i
we come from very different economic
backgrounds
and the thing that i never want you to
feel like is that i'm
leeching or sponging off of you and
that's like i
know but that's like a really
deep-seated fear of mine it's like i
never want that to be
i would never when i say it's our money
it's because we
i can't have what i have without you i
want to take care of you and i know you
want to take care of me which is why
it's our home
it's our money
you're getting teary you too i know
uh who i think it's me i love you i love
you too
i i mean that like and when i
ask it's out of respect because it's
like you
whatever i am today i feel like i got
here because of you
and so it's not as simple as drawing a
straight line down
and that's the part that like i want you
to like
hear and
i really like you're not a leech you're
my best friend you're my partner
and
i want to take care of you and i know
it's two-way street
i know
uh what do you still treasure about our
relationship
oh man you want me to share i'm gonna
share uh one of the things i treasure
so much about you is like i when i go
and tug you i grab you
around your upper waist and
you're very solid there that's your like
most solid part of yourself and it just
makes me
feel safe secure it's also when you
speak i can feel the vibrations of your
voice and
i treasure moments where i get to hug
you even if it's like
i'm running out to work you're running
out to work and i wish we had more time
together
we don't no um
silver lining of that is we treasure the
time we do get together
i mean i treasure everything like even
our bad days our bad days
are amazing yeah because like no i'd
rather have a bad day with you than with
almost
anyone else in the world and i can i
yeah i would rather have a bad day with
you than anyone else i've ever met
team is there anything else you want to
ask me
is there anything like burning questions
or anything that came up that you're
like oh man
no i just i was going to say something
nice
every time you spend money on me i think
man this is probably hard for andrew
because
the things i ask for i'm like i know
it's a nice thing and i want it
so i think i love my wedding ring my new
uh your new band yeah yeah uh
thank you yeah you're welcome and part
to be is like
i know when i like handed it to you i
was like there's gonna be a little
sticker shock but
i appreciate it it's fine you're worth
it
if i had all the money you know i'd
spend it on you
yes please spend some on yourself yeah a
little bit i'll get you know another
shirt that's not [ __ ]
i have to look at you right
you