*high five* Top of the morning to ya laddies!
My name is Jacksepticeye!
And welcome back to "FISH Feed and Grow"!
I smacked my hat in the start of the intro *laughs*
That was stupid.
Um
Yeah, okay, so I wanna play the beta map this time.
I think, well I played all the maps in the last episode,
but I think, I don't want to go back and play this
because all the fish in here suck.
Were all the fish in here a suck? I think they were.
Uh. Fish select
Yeah, What the fuck is going on with my computer?
Oookay, Everything just went blank for a second
So if it goes blank on the video you know what's going on.
Uhm
Catfish
buh... I'm going to call you a Bonerex
It looks like bon-rex but I'm going to say Bone-rex
Because that's what it look like
uhm
But the Beta Map, what was in here?
I think, Is this the one that had better fish?
Cheaper fish?
Yeah, cause you're only five!
I have zero, really?
You're 25
and I can get to the catfish again which is 50.
UHM
What does the raptor ability have?
Your velocity is converted into bonus damage on next hit
That's shit!
Every time you deal or take damage you gain 10% damage oookay
Let's play as this little dooder
I want to do well in this!
I wanted to actually, like, kill a bunch of fish
and get really big cause
every time I get some sort of decent size
the-the game fails and dies on me
and I die! And then I'm sad (D:)
about everything
that happens in my life (even cookies Jack?)
Really spooky sounds in this game
(Jack's version of spooky sounds)
It makes me feel like a demon is going to come
And bite my ASS
There's no demons underwater though.
There's only demons underneath your bed (NO Jack!)
Hahaha
Good luck sleepin' tonight kiddies
So I'm going to eat all these first
Cause they can.. Oh God.
This game is disorienting as all hell at times
Eat these first, because then I can level up
And I can get bigger.
I when I'm bigger and stronger, and I can kill things better
Are you- WOAH!
WHAAH FUCKING JESUS
WHY ME?
I got out of it!!
How do you get OUT of that bullshit?
(very Irish) Once you're caught, you're fucked!
I was pressing all the buttons.
I was pressing every fuckin' button that was on my keyboard
and everything just now
Did I die? Yeah. Still died.
Kill the fucking crab!
Don't fight back!
Just- Just accept your death!
HEY!
NOO!
MY SHIT!
That's it I got all the stuff anyway.
(sassy jack) Everybody
Get out of my house!
(to the audience) not you guys, you can stay and watch me play.
but everybody in the fucking fish world get out of my house.
I'm trying to eat all these- This is a very nice lookin' level
Tryin' to eat all these dudes and get a big-
a big belly full of food. And all ye bastards keep
coming in and stealing everything on me.
okay, I can eat some of these dudes
There is too many fish in this biome
The FUCK is this? (thats what she said)
This is not how nature works normally
Fish are all terrified of each other.
They are all little wimps
Except sharks
Those guys are fuckin' evil.
So, aim of the game is to keep movin'
If you stand still, you're gonna die.
You gotta hustle. you gotta-you gotta keep movin'
Just like in life!
You gotta keep movin' to get ahead.
If ya- if you stop movin' you're going to get left behind
and everyone else is going to get the fruits of the labours
better than you are- Oooh fishers
I wanna get the fishers
(Jack attack noises)
YES!
Eat a bunch of these little dudes!
If I eat a bunch of these dudes then I-I-I level up quicker
Yes!
Level fucking three baby!
'Bout to be level 4!
Who's level four up in this?
It's Jackaboy, YES!
Look how fat I am now!
(Accent) I are strongest fish!
I are best fish
Kill 'em, Kill 'em, Kill 'em all, Kill 'em all.
Just keep eatin' these until you get to, like, level 10.
I think level ten is the highest I can go
I can't get unless I play death match unlimited
and I might try that afterwards, cause I can get
higher level than ten, and I'll be HUGE!
Eat 'em, Yes!
Am I leveled up yet? Aw, Come on!
I wanna get to level 5!
What's the highest level I got to so far?
Look at the size of me!
I am a fat little fishy biiiii-
AAAH there's a lot of other fish
go away go away go away
There's a lot of other different fish over there
(Gets distracted) ooh hi!
(Distress)
He tried to bite me in the ass!
I do not care much for that, sir!
He still cha- Go Away!
Fuckin-mother fucker.
Eat the-
AAGH they ganged up on me
SONS OF BASTARDS
How do I get out of that?
Tell me! Tell me the how!
Okay, fish select.
It's time to BE one of them.
Be a Raptor
(mumbles) fuckin' hate those guys.
(whiny) I hate 'em. They suck.
I mean, are we faster now?
AAHHH
Leh- Chompers!
FUCKIN' SONS A' BITCHES!
Every time I'm a different fish, other fish come up and just chomp on my ass.
What is this, a fuckin' Jack buffet?
Where you goin' crabby?
Crabby ass. Yeah, get 'im dudes!
Ha ha ha ha ha
Did you steal all of my fuckin' meat?
I'M the cool one here. You guys are supposed to be helping ME.
Fuckin' sharing- I'm not sharing with nobody.
I ain't sharing with friends.
Who needs to share with friends
when you can have everything on your own?
I'm just jokin'. You really should share with friends.
Jacksepticeye supports the community.
Jacksepticeye supports kids, yes.
Seb- ye- Send kids to school.
Yay, don't do drugs.
Goldie fish! Goldie fish! Get 'im.
Ah ha ha ha ha
Got it. Got it. It's MY meat.
You guys stop trying to eat all my stuff.
MEEAT!
Yay! I need to kill somthin' bigger.
I need to kill somethin' bigger 'cause they have more stuff in them.
But I'm SCARED!
I'm bad at being able to kill the bigger ones.
I need to be a bigger fish.
Bite 'im, bite 'im, bite 'im. YES!
Wassup, CRAB?!
You feel a little crabby-
FUCK OFF!
He almost took all of my shit.
Brothers and sisters!
Come on down.
Try and fuckin' eat all the stuff I'm tryin' to eat, ye bastards.
I-I wanna be a crab. Can I be a crab in this game?
I wanna try it. I wan- They have a nice life.
They just walk sideways.
Everything in the world looks better when you walk sideways.
It's like that episode of Futurama, when
Professor Farnsworth could only look up.
and the world had a brighter outlook on it.
Oh look at all the meats!
Aww, man.
Meats!
MEATS!
I'm gonna steal all your meats.
You guys stealin' all mine, I'll come back and steal all yours.
That's how I roll.
That's how I lobster roll.
Oh god, Pike. Pike. Pike.
There was a Pike right there.
Oh, he better not chase me.
Is he chasing me?!
Oh, god, he scared the shit out of me.
I HATE HIM!
Maybe if I attack him, my friends will attack as well.
Come on, friends, get 'im! Get the pike!
GET THE PIKE!
FRIENDS?!
Friends are not helping.
Are- are they helping?
I'm almost- I almost have him killed.
Get 'im.
YES!
WE DID IT!
(Singing) We built this city on rock and rooollll.
Fuck yeah, dudes.
I'm level four.
I'm a level four raptor.
Like a VELOCIraptor.
I wanna be level five, though.
Give me level five.
I wanna be level fiive.
He hi- oh god. Oh god.
Those are different fish.
It's just like-
when you enter a different community in the world.
When you're- YEAH LEVEL FIVE! LOOK AT THE SIZE A' ME!
When you enter a different neighborhood,
in the outside world
in the- in the scary world.
You just go out there and then everybod- you're like,
You guys a- you guys are different to me
You guys are different
I don't like you.
and then you have to run away 'cause they all going to kill you.
Ianna kill all crabs.
(Grunt)
(Another grunt)
Yeah.
That crab had a bad life.
Just sittin' around gettin' chomped on the ass.
I'm gonna start eatin' crabs now
and then after a while I'm gonna be able to eat the other fish
It'd be fine if they didn't swarm me.
I'd be able to handle them then.
Come back here you...
BITCH!
'at's it.
Feed on the weak!
Feed on the weaker fish!
Yeah, ya shouldn't a' fuckin' tussled with Jack, should you?!
NO!
(Grunt)
MY MEAT!
Sons of bitches.
I know we should be in this together, but if you guys are getting big and I'm not,
What's the point?!
I'm the one recordin' a video.
Gimme dis. Gimme all a deez.
Gimme all a dis. Oh yes.
Ah crab!
(Grunt)
Nyom.
Feels good, feels good.
What's the highest level I got to so far?
I'm level five now.
I wanna get to level six.
Shai- level six? Level six?
Level six.
LEVEL SIX!
LOOKAT THE SIZE A' ME!
(With an accent) I'm a big badass fish, I am, mate.
(Still with accent) You wanna tussle wi' me?
Ge' outta' my fuckin' way.
Who should I go for?
Should we- ooh there's bigger fish over here!
There's meat lyin' around everywhere.
You guys are very wasteful.
WOAH!
CATFISH!
Should we eat 'im together?
I kinda want to
He have all the meats.
He might have ALL THE MEATS.
(mumble)
Whenever I'm in America
Goin' to conventions
I always see that Arby's commercial.
(Imitating Arby's commercial) Arby's. We have the-
(Silence...)
Bitch!
Good god! It's a fuckin'
fish graveyard over here!
Everybody's dead!
You can just come back and steal all the meat.
Ah ha ha ha ha
I didn't know I could do that. Aww, awesome!
Now I have 50 meat!
Now I can become a catfish!
Do I wanna become a catfish? Do I wanna get catfished?
Yes! Of course we do!
(Rhythmically) Catfish, baby. Come on down.
(Continuing the rhythm) Come on down to Jackaboy town!
(Reading) "Allows you to swallow 50% bigger fish than usually."
"Charges up over 10 seconds"
Fuckin' NICE!
Am I gonna be super strong?
I- I'm gonna play it safe first,
'cause this fish costs a lot.
I don't wanna get in, and then start y-
oh GOD, I'm slow!
Holy shit, my mouth is like a fuckin' truck door!
Am I strong, though?
What's the point of having a big, giant fish if I'm not strong?
Ok, that's strong enough.
I can kill him in one bite.
Fuckin' PIKES!
Come 'ere! Come 'ere!
WOAH!
I'M SUPER FUCKIN' STRONG!
I'm like Action Man,
Superman,
Batman
Jackaboy Man
All rolled into one.
Best superhero.
Good god, I am massive.
I am gi-hugic.
Eat all of these.
(Grunt)
Can I eat you? Come 'ere, shrimp!
(Grunt)
Was i- Were you a shrimp, or were you a prawn or ya- were ya-
were you a crawdad or were you doodad?
I don't fuckin' know.
Eat all the meat! (thats what she said)
Yeeees.
This is cool! I feel huge!
YEAAAAH
Catfish in the town!
[jaws theme]
Oh god, there's a lot of pike around here
oh god I'm scared. I'm scared.
Come here! Eat him!
[Jack noises]
Three bites is all it takes
and you're in the catfish's belly.
Welcome to my playground, Bitches!
[Jack noises]
Yes!
Oh God, I feel so powerful
Is this what it feels like to be the God?
[singsongy] I feel like it must be!
Just devouring fuckin' catfish
or, pike like it's nothin'.
YOU CAN'T EAT YOUR BROTHERS!
That's cannibalism!
That's fish cannibalism!
Fish-ibalism!
Ca-Fuckin'
You're too fast. Come 'ere!
fuckin' asshole.
Eatin'. All. The. Fish.
This is MY house!
Mmmmmy House!
That's what I'm talkin' about!
The pikes are nice, because the pikes don't gang up on you.
There's only a few of them.
Come here!
I'm going to keep eating ye bastards until I'm full!
Until I'm satiated (good word!)
Until I have EVERYTHING that I want in life.
That time I wanted a bike for Christmas and my parents couldn't afford it.
Now look what's going on!
I can afford ALL THE BIKES!
Hah, Bikes and pikes, that rhymes.
[gutteral] COME 'ERE!
Fwuh, get 'im, get 'im, get 'im
Bite his ass
[Jack noises] Yeaah!
Ya ain't escapin'!
Good god I feel so powerful.
I'm level 3! Catfish!
Look at the size of me! I'm like a Whale!
This is AWESOME! I need to go to a different part.
I need to go to a different part of the ocean.
Get down to a different part of the ocean and then
become a catfish
become catfish, catfish of life.
oooooh this might be bad.
Ooh there's swarms of them everywhere.
Oh Jesus.
[Jack noises]
Ooh, fuck.
Fuckernutters.
Okay, just get in and get out. (That's what she said.)
That's what it's all about.
You don't want to get swarmed.
Cause it's like when you (stutters)
again, a different neighborhood.
And there's just a bunch of dudes everywhere.
You still don't mess with them.
even if you are a giant
enough arrows in the legs are going to kill you anyway.
So be careful.
Be careful out there.
[Jack noises] Come h- Come 'ere!
You're almost half-dead anyway.
Yess!
YESS!
And I have 61 meats!
So when I change levels, I should be [gets distracted]
Is there a dead fish up here?
Yeah!
So when I change levels I should be able to get another
really good fish at the start
Yes!
This is GOOD for me!!
Good for Jack!
Oh God, Oh God they're ganging up on me.
They're gangin' up on me!
What do I do? [distressed Jack noises]
Eat, Eat, OH YES!
[laughs]
[very Irish] Oh die ye fuckin' peasants.
[evil laughter]
I am almost a level four catfish.
Good god I am massive.
This is the best!
This is the most fun. I AM HAVING A GOOD TIME!
Level four!
Yes!
These guys will gang up on me and destroy me ass
though if I'm not careful.
Like, like they are doing right now.
Oh they hurt!
Oh they are doing a lot of damage!
Suck up all the meat [oh Jack...]
Get all my health back. GET OUT
GET OUTTA HERE!
NOO
NOO I can't escape!
Get away!
Eat! Eat! Eat Somethin'!
Eat Somethin! I need- I need sustenance!
Batards, Bastards, Bastards , Bastards.
Get outta here!
Get away!
NOOOOOOOOOOO
I was a catfish. I was the chosen one :(
Oh Kay!
Let's try the ocean level
Fish select
Oooohhh
OOOOOH
I can become a Browurag
However that's- I could be a Shark!!
right from the start!
Shark Start
Wait what was my power?
I don't know what my power is as a shark!
I dont have one.
That's fuckin' great
That's just, oooh, perfect.
I love that... Oh am fast?
Oh so fast.
You guys better run!
Sharkboy and Lavagirl's in town!
for one night only.
don't go see that movie, it's fuckin' terrible.
nothing will satiate the shark!
satiated shark is not a thing.
Another shark bro!
hey friend!
Do you want to go eat some crabs?
No? He just wants to do his own thing?
I've heard of a lone wolf but not a lone shark!
Are you a wolf shark?
Tiger shark?
eel?
[Jack whale noise]
Yes!
I'm going to be so good. I'm going to be so good about this.
and I'm going to get all the meat.
and then I'm going to be a Browurag
Whatever the fuck that is.
I have no idea. It sounds like a pre-historic fish.
[singing Little Mermaid] Under the sea
Everything is better, down where it's wetter, Under the sea
COME 'ERE
I need to bite you in the fuckin' ass.
Yes!
I don't even know what you are.
Stahp it!
STOP
Stop it
STOP
Stop it
Asshole
What a dick.
Kay. I wanna- I wanna get outta here.
I feel uncomfortable. I feel unsafe.
I feel unclean
Where- where's another one of those guys?
I don't even know where you guys are.
WOAH BROWURAG!
HE'S SO COOL!
He ate my shark friend!
Get in. Get in and steal the meat
Get in and steal the meat, Yes
[laughs]
Later Fuckers!
I'm going to be so big. So big and avenge my brothers.
Did you kill my brother?
His name was Steve.
Shark Steve.
It wasn't a very cool name but he was my friend!
Oh God!
Oh God those guys are scary.
They're fuckin' huge!
I wanna get in and steal the meat again though.
Can I? Oh god no don't attack me!
Don't attack me!
Yes!
YES!
[Jack screaming Oh No]
[Jack screaming Get away]
No, no, no, I wanna get away
[Singsongy] I wanna flyyy away!
GET AWAY FROM ME
SON OF A BITCH
NOOOOO
I thought I was good :(
Don't get greedy!
When you get greedy then you fuckin' die.
I'm pickin' a different fish.
Cause that's going to cost me 50 again.
I need to get
a hundred and one
[Whiny jack] SUCKS!
almost there
I have 98
I only need 101
I'm going to be like a scavenger.
Wait. Unless I can kill this dude.
Come 'ere'
Come 'ere. Ahh!
You guys are so fast!
I want to be like a scavenger and just steal some of the meat
that other people leave lying around
Like that!
99
100
One more, Yes!
101, Yess!
Here we go, Here we go.
fish select baby!
All the way out to the end!
Browurag!
Are you guys ready?
For the biggest fish in all the...
land...
In all the ocean!
Oooh yes!
Do I have any powers?
No. Okay.
I only have the power of Awesome!
[Jack noises]
God I bite so fuckin' slow.
Yaaay! I killed my first kill.
Baby giant shark's first kill.
Ohh. So adorable!
[laughs]
I want to get to like, level 20.
I can't. I can only get to level 10
in this mode, but I want to get to level 20
Take on the small fish.
[Jack noises] This guy sucks!
Did I just kill him in one bite?
Cause that's pretty awesome.
Nobody's even attacking me, everyone's afraid.
Haha, so you should be!
Browurag friend!
Hey!
How's it going there? [Jack mating call]
That's the sound we make right?
That's what my father told me, but, I mean
He wasn't around very long to teach me this stuff.
Where're you goin'?
Man, we gotta stick together and fight together!
Those who fight together, die together.
Actually, that's terrible.
Yes, Yes, oh Yeaaah baby!
Still only level one.
God it takes forever to upgrade these dudes.
Hwah
Come on! You're not a one bite kill?
Everything should be a one bite kill with these guys.
Huyh
yes
We're so cool!
Oh God! Oh God!
Browurag buddy!
Friend!!
Friend help me!
I need to turn and kill.
Turn and kill
Turn and kill! God I'm fuckin' bad at this.
Get away!
Get away ye bastards.
I-I need sustenance. I need sustenance.
health. Get AWAY from me!!
How do I get away??
This is so annoying!
Stop it! Stop it!
I-I need to get away. I need to get away.
There's no fuckin' help!
There's no HELP!
HELP ME!
I AM DONE!
How the fuck do ya escape when people all latch onto you?
You can't even turn and fight them .
because when you turn they are still latched onto you
God Damn it
Anyway!
I'm going to leave this episode here.
I got to be a Browurag for like two seconds.
That's good enough for me
That's the highest achievement I have for my life.
Slap it on the fridge.
Thank you guys so much for watching this episode
If you liked it
punch that like button
In the face
Like a boss.
And
high fives all round!
[High Five noises.]
Thank you guys
And I will see all you dudes.
[high pitched] In the next video!
Subscribe to Jack!! :) Or just jam to awesome music.
There is a lot of saliva comin' at you right now.
You're so lucky you're behind a computer screen.
I mean, I spit so much you probably still feel it
behind the computer screen. Sorry!