- This one's going to be Captain Morgan.
- Wow.
- This one's going to be Costco, I bet, but let's try it.
- Ever hear a little phrase called
don't judge a book by it's cover?
- No, why would I not judge a book by
what I'm using to buy it?
(happy bass guitar)
- That's the whole premise behind this is
that Costco has their own generic brand.
- I heard Kirkland is surprisingly good.
- I feel like all Kirkland products are pretty tight.
- I think I dated a girl that wore Kirkland brand jeans.
- Give me the alcohol.
- Let's get to smellin'.
- Well two's definitely darker.
- Cheers.
Ahh.
- Oh you (bleep), you took your whole one.
- It tastes like eggnog minus the egg.
- It's like honey.
That is not Captain Morgan.
- That's not Captain Morgan.
- Let's try it.
- Captain Morgan brings back a lot of bad memories.
- Two smells even sweeter.
- It is even sweeter.
- This packs more of a punch.
- Yeah it tastes like a gingerbread man.
- Yeah, like a drunk gingerbread man.
- Number two, Costco, and number one, Captain Morgan.
- Well that's what I said.
- I think that's the Captain Morgan
because I would never drink something that tasted like this.
- Yeah, I agree.
- And I've had Captain Morgan before.
- Number two is Captain.
- Two is Captain Morgan and one is Costco.
- This one's Costco? - [Woman] What?
- Damn it.
- And I think is Costco.
- My initial thought was that this
was Captain Morgan, but I'm gonna change it
and say that this is Costco and it's a copycat.
- [Voiceover] Ashly is correct.
- Yay!
- So this is the infamous, Grey Goose has the
same quality as the Costco Brand.
- Mmmm.
- Boop!
- That went down pretty easy.
- Uggh!
- Like Kesha.
(throat clearing)
- ♫ I'm yellin' timber ♫
- That's like drinkin' Alex Mack if Alex Mack was a liquid.
- Two, cheers.
- Cheers.
- This is incredibly smooth.
- This one is smoother than the first one.
- Aaach!
- Two is slightly more palatable.
- My lips burn.
- One has got to be Grey Goose.
It's way fancier.
- Yeah, it just feels like I should
be on a rooftop veranda when I drink this,
and this feels like maybe a lower to the ground veranda.
- Two is Goose.
- I think one is Costco.
- One is Grey Goose.
- Two is Grey Goose, one is Costco.
- Finally, we differ.
- One is Costco, because all the vodkas I drink at bars,
which are the nicer vodkas, make me go aach.
- Two is Costco, one is Grey Goose
and she's saying the opposite.
- [Voiceover] Two is Grey Goose.
- Ahhh (laughs).
- Damn it, Costco you failed me.
- Stop wasting your money on this.
- I'm not the biggest Canadian whisky person,
and honestly, I really don't like Crown Royal.
(burps)
(laughs)
- Shot burps.
- Hashtag shot burps.
- No.
- They look exactly the same, literally
the same color, the same everything.
- This is like dehydrated for weeks in a desert pee color.
(laughs)
(burps)
(laughs)
- I think that's the Crown Royal.
- It's kinda, vaguely smokey.
- It's kinda like maple-ey.
- I know what it tastes like.
- All right.
It's the taste of my unhappy childhood.
- It's like someone with whiskey breath
talking really close to your face.
- Yeah, what is that like?
- No!
- Okay, number two?
- It's very harsh.
- Oh yeah, this is way harsher, I only took half a sip.
- No, number one is the better one.
- I agree, number one tastes like Crown Royal.
- Two is Crown Royal and one is Costco.
- I say the opposite, one is Crown Royal, two is Costco.
- This is the Crown Royal.
- We agree on this.
- [Voiceover] Number one is Crown Royal.
- Nooo! - (bleep)
(laughing)
- [Voiceover] Three, two, one, Costco.
- Oh!
- [Voiceover] Number two is Costco.
- Yay!
- You see?
- Do we win a prize?
Is the prize more shots?
- Yeah, the whiskey was pretty great.
I feel like the vodka was just so clean,
it's almost dangerous.
- It was unbelievable.
- Buy the vodka with caution because that,
you're going to have a party.
- Yeah. (laughs)
- Costco if you're listening right now, I believed in you.
I felt like you would be the superior liquor,
when in fact--
- Where were you?
- Costco is living a life of luxury.
- Being an elitist about alcohol is stupid.
Everybody's trying to get to the same finish line.
We're all trying to get (bleep) up.
So whether you get there by walking,
or you get there on a scooter,
or you get there on a Segway,
or you get there on a private jet,
who gives a (bleep), we're all getting there.