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Dr. Carolyn Steinberg: One other things that isn't spoken about very much is the role of fathers,
and the significant impact that a birth of a baby has on a father's life.
From being the guy in a relationship,
to facing what does it mean to be a father.
Perhaps as well a change in the aspect of themselves as being a provider for the family.
They were perhaps in a relationship where there was a sharing of responsibilities
to suddenly recognizing that their partner is going through some changes
may not be as capable of earning,
maybe taking a year off for example in maternity leave, which is what's occurring in Canada.
And may have an increase in financial responsibilities
and they too then go through a tremendous morphological change
in themselves and their self-image.
Though clearly not the same physiological changes just that the woman would go through.
But that too is a tremendous stress.
I have to say that I see a significant number of families
where the father is working irregular hours or shift work,
and that brings to my mind what an enormous stress it is
on a father's life to have a baby,
the expectation of being able to shift around wake and sleep schedules
when you already have one individual in the family who's not yet regulated to daylight
and nighttime, to have two of them who are switching around
is a very very difficult situation.
It really stresses all individuals in the family.
The mother who needs to pick up the slack
more so than just having a baby,
but having a partner who's coming in at different hours,
and needing the house quiet different hours,
the baby who's getting mixed messages then of when nighttime is, and when daytime time is,
but very significantly the father as well.
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I think there's ample opportunities for father to yet missed in the pregnancy.
The birth and the early weeks of a baby's life,
dads often work long hours,
may not be included in the prenatal classes,
maybe only included for part of those,
but they too go through a very significant role change.
And I think it would be best for fathers to have some time to be able to
think and speak about those significant changes they go through.
Many of them find that, boom, the baby is born
suddenly they're fathers, and they're having to readjust their life with the guys,
their sports events, their job schedules,
and make space for a new person in their life.
There are many dedicated fathers who really wish to do the best for their babies,
who've come from homes where the fathers were traditional,
perhaps more 1950's, 60's fathers
whose roles were very different from the expectations of today.
Many of the fathers I see today
want to share in minding the baby, in feeding the baby, in changing the baby
and their fathers were not involved so they don't have and an automatic role model
upon which to draw and they're finding their way in new turf
which adds another complexity of stress to this evolving role that they have.