- Hey player, are you dealing with a bully
that keeps calling you names and you
wanna do something about it?
Well, that's the question that Takokido Plays
asked me when he said, can you please
make a video about how to handle verbal bullying?
No problem, because I think there's one thing
that you can say to that bully that'll get them to stop.
And I share that with you right after this.
♪This is The Josh Speaks you're watching to Josh Speak♪
For those of you that are new here, my name
is Josh and every single Monday through Friday,
I make videos sharing tips, ideas
and stories teaching you how to be your best self.
So what exactly can you say to a bully to get them to stop?
Let me tell yah the bullies thrive on
your negative energy and the negative
responses you have to say back to them.
So if you flip the script on them,
you'll change things drastically.
There's a principle called the golden rule,
which can be traced back to so
many cultures all throughout history.
But basically what the golden rule talks about is
the idea of doing unto others
as you'd have them do unto you.
treat other people how you want to be treated.
So when you think about a bully,
they're not practicing that at all.
They're being mean to you.
And I'm sure they wouldn't want
someone to be mean back to them,
which is where the golden rule
actually comes into play here.
If you act kind towards your bullies
the way that you want to be treated,
you'll flip the script for them.
And you'll get them thinking in a totally different way.
Let's say for example, a bully is really digging
into making fun of you for your race,
or your height or culture or your gender,
or any of these other characteristics about you.
They're saying incredibly offensive things
like go back to your country, you freak,
you weirdo, you little shrimp,
any of these little things to try to get a rise out of you.
But that's not what you're gonna give them
instead of responding back by yelling at them
or cursing at them, or even just ignoring them.
You're actually gonna respond back with kindness.
You might wanna say something like,
hey, dude, that's cool you got your
own opinion and stuff I don't really
agree with it, but that's okay man.
I'm glad you're thinking about me in some way.
Your bully then doubles down and calls you
even more names and attacks you even more.
Well, what do you say to that?
That's fine man.
Keep doing what you're doing.
You're pretty cool guys.
So as long as we can have these type
of conversations I'm good with that
you're bully now will probably
be a little thrown back by that type of response.
And either they're gonna double down
or they're gonna walk away 'cause they don't
really know how to handle that type of energy.
There's an amazing video that shows an example
of how you can handle these type of interactions
from the motivational speaker Brook Skips.
So I'm gonna link that up for you.
But basically, at the end of the day,
if you keep responding back with kindness,
your bullies not gonna know how to interpret
that type of response from you.
When people are kind to us.
Our natural response is to be kind back.
But if you're bullying, you're being mean,
your brain kinda short circuits when someone
is kind to you because you don't know how to respond.
Should you be kind or should you continue being mean.
Now I'm not trynna say it's easy to
be kind to someone that's barking insults in your face.
But practicing that level of compassion
and kindness will help you steer
and navigate that ship a lot better in a way,
the best thing you can do is love your enemies.
But I don't mean just letting them
get away with whatever they want,
letting them do whatever they want to do.
Really loving your enemy comes down to understanding
and accepting that this is a person who's hurt.
This is a person who doesn't know how
to handle their emotions and feelings.
And this is the person who's lashing out
because they've no one there to help them.
Bullies are not happy people.
Anyone who really gains pleasure
from bringing down someone else's value shows
that they lack it themselves.
They don't have that self confidence
and self awareness to really feel
like they themselves are whole.
And that's why practicing
the golden rule here is so important.
At the end of the day, you know
that you want people to be kind to you.
But that can only start when you start putting
that out there into the world.
If you're waiting for the bully to practice
that kindness first, it's just not gonna happen.
But if you are the leader here,
if you set the example then other people
that see how you interact with that bully
can also feel inspired and encouraged to
also be kind and practice that kindness.
Before you guys know what that bullies gonna
have no one that they can really really get to.
And words are just words.
Now that doesn't mean they can't be hurtful,
but if a person throws out a bad word
against you well if you choose not
to accept it and you just walk away,
that word falls on deaf ears and nothing comes of it.
I'm gonna be honest with you here,
bullies will try harder and harder
each time to try to get you to break.
But the stronger you stand and
the more confident you are in practicing
the golden rule with them,
being kind to them because you want kindness back
eventually they're gonna crack
and they're just gonna stop because
they're gonna see there's no purpose
in bullying you anymore.
What do you think though?
Are you dealing with a bully
that constantly calls you names?
Leave a comments below and we'll talk about it
before you head out I want you guys
to leave comments below but if you
also wanna shoot me a private message
because maybe what you wanna talk about
is a little bit more sensitive and personal.
You can always shoot me a DM over on Snapchat or Instagram.
do my best to answer as many messages as I can.
Thank you so much for watching.
I highly recommend you check out
the videos I have listed over there on the side.
I continue this conversation about bullying
and how to deal with them.
So watch those videos let me know what you guys think.
I'll see you guys soon.
As always love and peace.