Most popular television characters get the close-up treatment throughout the course of
a TV series… but there are a few fan favorites whose faces we never get to see.
"Where you going?"
"Nooooo…"
Let's take a look - or at least have a listen - at some faceless TV characters who still
managed to make a lasting impression.
Wilson on Home Improvement
"Wilson, what are you doing?"
"I'm just testing my maracas."
"Usually when I have mine tested, the doctor makes me turn my head and cough."
Tim Taylor's trusty next-door neighbor on Home Improvement was always futzing around
in his backyard.
Improbably named Wilson W. Wilson, the good-natured goof inspired some of the show's most groan-inducing
jokes.
"What are you doing, Wilson?"
"Well, Tim, I'm admiring my yams."
"Should I leave you alone?"
During the course of the show, Wilson's face was always partially concealed, usually behind
a fence.
"Wilson, what are you doing up?"
"Well, Tim, I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come out and squeeze my apples."
The character was reportedly inspired by Tim Allen's real-life neighbor growing up… when
he was still too short to see over the fence and catch a glimpse at his full face.
After hiding from audiences for eight seasons, actor Earl Hindman finally revealed his face
in the at the final curtain call.
"Playing Wilson is Earl Hindman!"
Maris Crane on Frasier
"I'm supposed to ask Maris to spend an evening with a baseball player?
Why don't I just ask her to 'rub my shoulders?'"
Niles Crane's former wife Maris wasn't supposed to be concealed from Frasier viewers forever,
but the character's description quickly became too bizarre to cast: generally pale, skeletal,
tiny, and altogether too strange to be human… before later becoming morbidly obese.
Executive producers Peter Casey and David Lee explained in a Season 2 DVD extra:
"Well, some of the things that had been written about her in scripts, I don't know if we could
ever find anybody that would match all those things."
In the Season 5 episode "Voyage of the Damned," audiences did get to see a shadow of Maris
behind a shower curtain:
[gargling]
We wonder if David Hyde Pierce is still waiting for that zany Maris spinoff.
"When we go off the air, whenever it is, she'll probably have her own show."
Mrs. Wolowitz on The Big Bang Theory
"Howard, the phone is ringing!"
"Here's a crazy idea, ma, answer it!"
Howard Wolowitz's elusive mother on The Big Bang Theory was voiced by the late actress
Carol Ann Susi... which you can totally hear in her Season 5 appearance in Grey's Anatomy:
"No, she's the mean one!
I don't want her!"
Debbie Wolowitz is described as a large woman with a mustache and curly black hair... but
that wasn't in keeping with the appearance of the actress who voiced her.
In Big Bang Theory's Season 5 finale, we do briefly see Mrs. Wolowitz in an overhead shot.
We also catch a very brief glimpse of her in the Season 15 episode "The Spoiler Alert
Segmentation."
"What's wrong?"
"My mom died."
When Carol Ann Susi sadly passed in 2014, writers decided Howard's mother would die,
too.
Still, her memory lives on.
"Nobody likes the pancakes?"
"He didn't try them yet!"
Ugly Naked Guy on Friends
"Huh."
"What?"
"Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still."
We never learn the real name of Ugly Naked Guy on Friends, but we certainly get to know
him:
"I'm sorry, I can't help but notice that you're naked."
In a Season Three episode, the gang even pokes their bizarre nudist neighbor with a rubber-banded
batch of chopsticks... because they think he's dead.
"He's alive, he's alive!"
In another Season Three episode, we learn via flashback that Ugly Naked Guy had a very
different nickname three years earlier:
"Oh that is so unfortunate."
"What?"
"Cute Naked Guy is really starting to put on weight."
The actor who played Ugly Naked Guy remained a pop-culture mystery for decades… until
HuffPo writer Todd Van Luling cracked the case in 2016.
Meet the man, the myth, the legend… actor Jon Haugen.
He says it took him awhile to come forward because he was "keeping it mellow."
Plus, Warner Bros. reportedly wanted everybody to guess who had played the role.
That's so Ugly Naked Guy.
George Steinbrenner on Seinfeld
"All right, let's see what I have today.
Oh, darn it, it's ham and cheese again.
And she forgot the fancy mustard!"
It's rare for a scripted sitcom to feature an impression of a real public figure, so
when George Costanza wound up working for Yankees guru George Steinbrenner on Seinfeld,
the approach was simple.
They only showed Steinbrenner from behind, with actor Lee Bear appearing as the back
of his head, and creator Larry David voicing the role.
The real Steinbrenner loved the schtick so much, he agreed to tape a cameo as himself.
That cameo never aired, but his scenes eventually made their way onto a Seinfeld DVD.
"Wait a minute, young lady, what's this about singles' tables?
I don't sit at singles tables!
Singles tables are for losers!"
Now let's compare and contrast.
"Want me to say it again, I'll say it again!
I haven't had a pimple since I was 18, and I don't care if you believe me or not.
And how's this, you're fired!"
Isn't it uncanny?