I feel cursed that's how blessed I am
I'm pissed. I'm trying really hard not to be but I'm pissed. I'm at Love's in Belen New Mexico. I've been here since yesterday afternoon.
I stopped here on my way to meet some friends in Mountain Air and I'm taking advantage of their parking lot but I'm also heavily patronizing the place.
I did my laundry here last night two loads wash and dry that's about 12 bucks then I ate dinner at the Arby's
here that was about 14 bucks and this morning I had a breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee
from the store that was 10 bucks and then I took a shower that cost 15 bucks which is ridiculous but
I did it so I spent in less than 24 hours at this Travel Center which is supposed to be for people
like me who travel I have spent about 50 bucks but believe it or not that's not what I'm pissed about
about 15 minutes ago I got a knock on the door and there are two Deputy sheriffs standing there they
tell me that the management has requested that I leave the premises now at this point I'm I'm
getting ready to leave anyway I'm sweeping up I'm putting away my clothes I'm still drying my hair
from my 15 shower but I haven't even been here 24 hours they point out the signs that say one hour
parking but what loves have I ever been to that didn't have those signs they have them so they can
kick people out who are undesirable and I guess that's me now but people sleep overnight it loves
all the time in fact there's an RV almost next to me right now that was here when I arrived and
it's still here it doesn't look like it's leaving anytime soon and nobody has told them to leave
but you know okay I'm leaving I'm getting ready to leave anyway so no problem I don't want conflict
you know give me 20 minutes and I'm gonna get out of here I don't know what I did to get on
the undesirable list but I know that some places are weird about schoolies and I try not to take
that personally I don't want conflict gonna do my chores and I'm gonna go but five minutes
later they're back they say that the manager has requested that I leave right now and I say well
gee it takes a few minutes to put everything away so I can drive and is there some kind of problem
yes they say the manager wants me gone because I have been panhandling
I don't think I have to tell you I have not been panhandling I've never panhandled in my
life I told him who says I was panhandling can you tell whoever said I was panhandling to come
out here and take a good look at me and tell me that I'm the person that they saw panhandling
because this I'm taking personally so the deputies go inside and they come out with this guy he's the
manager he has a badge with his I'm not going to say his name because I don't want anybody to
give him a hard time but he has on a name tag so I know his name and I'll have it handy when I call
the Love's corporate office I'm gonna call him Lionel Poindexter because that's the kind of name
he deserves I actually think that's a character on The Partridge Family but anyway I'm gonna call
him that instead of what I really want to call him which I'm sure you can imagine so I say to
Lionel Poindexter so you saw me panhandling and he says well I didn't but one of my associates
did and I say well could you bring your associate out here because I wasn't panhandling I work for
a living look in my bus look at my computer look at my desk setup I'm a working person I'm not a
beggar and he looks kind of stunned but I think he actually believed me but he gets defensive instead
and instead of saying oh I'm sorry he stammers that well you've been here we have signs we can
ask you to leave if you've been here more than an hour and he turns around and goes back in
so I said to the deputies listen I'm gonna finish putting away my clothes I'm gonna sweep my floor
and then I'm gonna go and they say okay and the deputies they apologize to me they said
listen it's their property if they ask us to get rid of somebody we have to do it but we're sorry
we didn't mean to give you such a hard time so as soon as I'm done recording this I'm gonna go
I was gonna give loves some more of my money because I was going to fuel up
but I'm not gonna do that now I'm gonna find someplace else to fuel up
so I left loves and I came over here to Flying J to get fuel and I saw this bus it was a very cool
bus I was looking at one a lot like that before I got Max so I was interested I kind of wanted to
see the inside I looked up the markings on the side and it used to be a shuttle bus at a ski
resort I mean obviously it's not a ski shuttle now it's being schoolyized but I kind of hung
out because I was hoping the owner would show up so that I could see inside and I thought maybe I
could even like shoot a tour do a little interview so I waited and the owner did show up and I did
get to see the inside and I did an interview and that interview did not turn out quite
the way I was expecting my name is not sure if you heard that he said my name is canizzle so
this uh is pretty much staying the same except for I'm getting a smaller wood stove as soon as
we got inside I could see that canizzle was in mid-build so there wasn't really a lot to
tour but I was already an interviewer mode so I asked him some questions about the bus it's
a 99 BC 3500 HD chassis and it has a 6.5 liter non-turbo diesel I love the size and perfect
slowly changing what got you on the road in the first place I was a child of drug and alcohol
abuse I joined the military and after I got out I was working with uh Awards and and picture framing
company I was essentially at the top of my game that I could not be happy when I hit the road I
had no idea where I was going or what I was going to do and I thought I was just going to go back
home and into California to do what everybody else does but along the way you know I was on
the ground I met some people and I just ended up diverting my path and becoming the happiest
I could ever be so a trip on a Greyhound one thing leads to another and boom he's a nomad
I feel so blessed it is ridiculous I feel cursed that's how blessed I am sorry about the dogs and
the wind and all that there's a bunch of this you can't really hear we started talking about
how to earn a living on the road like Renaissance Fairs and that's the um mineral show but they're
becoming less and less accessible to traveling people La canezel said something that really
got my attention he said there's not that many work options available for us homeless people
now that's not a word I'd use to describe myself did you consider yourself a homeless person most
definitely I'm traveling for 12 years so I consider homeless people essentially accepted
this beat treated differently just because their housing situation interesting because I got so
many friends who do this you know nobody none of us ever think of it is we don't have a home I am
comfortable very comfortable with what I do when I fly myself and I want people to feel comfortable
and to have an access to give without restraint knowing exactly where their money's going which
is a problem I think that that people can't do to their friends or their family so knuzzle actually
panhandles when I hold a sign that says gas not cash it is directly devoted to intentionally
trying to get people to give me gasoline instead of cash because people don't know where cash goes
so I give an outlet to people that want to give and receive appreciation so you're saying you're
doing a service offering people a way to give thank you for understanding and I believe the
whole world is slowly but surely coming to this understanding know s too far no one's too bro
compassion I
passed you guys when we're falling apart foreign
project how did you uh I always give rise I spent Five Years on foot yeah 42 States
nine freight trains yeah I know what it's like to meet around
I asked knustle if I could buy him some gas or some food and he said no thanks both his tanks
were full both the buses and his stomach so I went inside and sat down for lunch
at Denny's and canizzle and his passenger got on their way my first thought when he
said he holds that sign was oh you're the one that ruins it for the rest of us but
he's not asking for money he's not taking more than he needs and maybe there is maybe there's
something to that idea that allowing people to help you is sort of a service
I've been out here I've seen a lot of poverty in the Nomad world and I've heard
a lot of Nomads even poor ones complaining about homeless people I've done it myself
but I think when other people look at us they they see homeless people pretty much
I mean are we in This Together does it really matter if you came to this life in a sprinter
with a big emergency fund or and a broken down old van because you couldn't afford rent
does it matter if you found peace and a life you love I mean we're Nomads I think I think we're all
in this together but then look at me I was okay with getting kicked out of lumps but not okay with
someone accusing me of panhandling of basically being knuzzle so am I really so much better
than him my boss is old and it breaks down and there's going to come a time when I need some help
still I'm saying I'm better than that guy I want to stop doing that I'm interested to
hear what you think about all this let me know in the comments and after that
meet me over here if you haven't seen this one or even if you have time to see it again