Emotional detachment, in psychology, can mean two different things.
In the first meaning, it refers to an "inability to connect" with others emotionally, as well
as a means of dealing with anxiety by preventing certain situations that trigger it; it is
often described as "emotional numbing" or dissociation, depersonalization or in its
chronic form depersonalization disorder.
In the second sense, it is a decision to avoid engaging emotional connections, rather than
an inability or difficulty in doing so, typically for personal, social, or other reasons.
In this sense it can allow people to maintain boundaries, psychic integrity and avoid undesired
impact by or upon others, related to emotional demands.
First sense: inability to connect Emotional detachment in the first sense above
often arises from psychological trauma and is a component in many anxiety and stress
disorders.
The person, while physically present, moves elsewhere in the mind, and in a sense is "not
entirely present", making them sometimes appear preoccupied or distracted.
In other cases, the person may seem fully present but operate merely intellectually
when emotional connection would be appropriate.
This may present an extreme difficulty in giving or receiving empathy and can be related
to the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder.
Thus, such detachment is often not as outwardly obvious as other psychiatric symptoms; people
with this problem often have emotional systems that are in overdrive.
They have a hard time being a loving family member.
They avoid activities, places, and people associated with any traumatic events they
have experienced.
The dissociation can also lead to lack of attention and, hence, to memory problems and
in extreme cases, amnesia.
A fictional description of the experience of emotional detachment in the first sense
was given by Virginia Woolf in Mrs Dalloway.
In that novel the multifaceted sufferings of a war veteran, Septimus Warren Smith, with
post-traumatic stress disorder including dissociation, are elaborated in detail.
One clinician has called some passages from the novel "classic" portrayals of the symptoms.
Second sense: decision to not connect emotionally Emotional detachment in the second sense above
is a decision to avoid engaging emotional connections, rather than an inability or difficulty
in doing so, typically for personal, social, or other reasons.
In this sense it can allow people to maintain boundaries, psychic integrity and avoid undesired
impact by or upon others, related to emotional demands.
As such it is a deliberate mental attitude which avoids engaging the emotions of others.
This detachment does not necessarily mean avoiding empathy; rather it allows the person
space needed to rationally choose whether or not to be overwhelmed or manipulated by
such feelings.
Examples where this is used in a positive sense might include emotional boundary management,
where a person avoids emotional levels of engagement related to people who are in some
way emotionally overly demanding, such as difficult co-workers or relatives, or is adopted
to aid the person in helping others such as a person who trains himself to ignore the
"pleading" food requests of a dieting spouse, or indifference by parents towards a child's
begging. Emotional detachment also allows acts of extreme
cruelty, such as torture and abuse, supported by the decision to not connect empathically
with the person concerned.
Social ostracism, such as shunning and parental alienation, are other examples where decisions
to shut out a person creates a psychological trauma for the shunned party.
As a result, the decision as to whether emotional detachment in any given set of circumstances
is considered to be a positive or negative mental attitude is a subjective one, and therefore
a decision on which different people may not agree.
See also
Assertiveness Dissociative disorders
Emotional contagion Psychical distance
Social rejection Splitting
Structured Clinical Interview for DSM-IV Reactive attachment disorder
References