hey this is Evan mark Katz dating coach
for smart strong successful women and
your personal trainer for love
today I'm going to give you the biggest
misunderstanding that you have about men
and out of everything I've written if
there's one thing that I think is really
important it's going to be what I'm
about to tell you men are about feelings
not about looks now I know that could be
considered a challenging concept to say
the least and certainly men are books
driven but let's only get someone in the
door they're going to get people's
attention and men and women function the
same way in this regard every guy I know
his dated someone who's really
attractive and broken up with her every
woman I know has did a guy who's tall
smart successful charismatic and
realized he wasn't necessarily the best
guy in the world so we're all drawn by
the same characteristics that build
chemistry on I think what we have to
realize is that men and women diverge
when it comes to what they're willing to
put up with in certain relationships men
for example like smart strong successful
women I certainly could speak for myself
and say that I do every guy I know is
drawn by those same characteristics
which is why you probably have a lot of
men who are interested in you as you are
right now the thing is with guys who
disappear they're not necessarily
getting their needs met and one of the
underestimated things about men is how
much they are like you and how they have
feelings and how they really want to be
loved unconditionally and cherished and
adored and sometimes the most impressive
women don't always give these men what
they're looking for so in my experience
as a dating coach women tell me
essentially that they're looking for
better versions of themselves a guy
who's taller a guy who's smarter a guy
who's wealthier right we could all agree
as to why that would be very attractive
however a man's not necessarily looking
for a better version of himself a guy is
looking for what he doesn't get anywhere
else
he doesn't me
it's a clone of himself he doesn't need
more guy friends he doesn't need the
same the same atmosphere he gets it work
he needs a compliment he needs someone
who's thoughtful generous playful silly
fun sexy soft sensitive that's the stuff
that he doesn't get anywhere else a
person who really sees him as the best
version of himself someone who really
makes him feel masculine and needed and
important and loved and the amazing
thing about doing this for your guy is
the effect that it has on the guy when
he feels safe and trusted and important
and intelligent right instead of
micromanaged and browbeaten and
criticized and undermined and
emasculated which is sometimes what
women do unintentionally because they
have different needs and different
opinions and they Nick the guy that
they're with the guy that they love the
guy that they're attracted to
not necessarily feel so good so most
guys if you give them all of this and
you make them feel great become better
boyfriends better men for you it's hard
to be selfish around someone who is
selfless it's hard to withhold love from
someone who's so loving so there's many
rewards in making a guy feel really
great and you might be a top chef
supermodel a Rhodes Scholar you know
attract every guy in the room to you but
if you don't make a guy feel great
you're going to find that the good guys
the guys that you want are not
necessarily going to stick around and so
really I can't emphasize anything more
importantly than this one thing men are
about feelings not necessarily just
about looks and if you make us feel like
a million bucks we're not going anywhere
if you struggle to understand and
connect with the right men I really hope
that that video gave you something to
think about we guys really are about
feelings and it's very important to us
that when we're around
we feel great and so I hope you could
take that into your real life
immediately and start seeing some
results from that