>> James: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
GET READY TO RUMBLE BECAUSE WE GOT A TASTY SLICE OF "DROP THE
MIC"!
♪ "DROP THE MIC"!
ALL RIGHT.
HE'S THE BEST RAPPER IN THIS TIME SLOT.
IT'S JAMES CORDEN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
SHE'S A DAME WHO DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN!
GIVE IT UP FOR HELEN MIRREN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
>> Reggie: ALL RIGHT.
OKAY.
ALL RIGHT.
SETTLE DOWN.
NOW, JAMES, AS HOST AND, AS USUAL, YOU WILL GO FIRST.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> BOW DOWN, JAMES.
BOW DOWN.
>> James: BOW DOWN?
BOW DOWN, NEIL, BABY, NEIL.
>> James: HEY, HEY -- WE'RE NOT AT HOME ANYMORE.
I'M THE KING IN THIS STUDIO.
>> MM-HMM.
>> James: THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN.
JOSH, GIVE ME A BEAT!
>> James: ♪ HELEN IS BASICALLY AN ICON IN HER CRAFT
♪ BUT WHEN I HEARD SHE WANTED TO BATTLE ME
♪ ALL I COULD DO WAS LAUGH BACK HOME SHE'S CONSIDERED
♪ THE ACTRESS YOU HAVE TO FEAR WE'RE IN AMERICA NOW
♪ MERYL STREEP LIVES HERE!
♪ YOU DATED LIAM NEESON BACK IN 1982
♪ BUT HE LEFT YOU QUICK GUESS HE WASN'T TAKEN WITH YOU
♪ HELEN'S SO BELOVED SHE'S IN HER OWN CLASS
♪ SHE PLAYED THE QUEEN BUT NOW SHE'S A ROYAL PAIN IN MY
ASS (
>> ♪ I'M THE ONE YOU SHOULD FEAR, WHEREVER I GO
♪ IF I'M A PAIN IN YOUR ASS THAT LEAVES A LOT OF ROOM TO
GROW ♪ YOU STAND OUT
NOT FOR GAMES OR BANTER ♪ OTHER SHOWS DO COMEDY
YOU JUST PANDER ♪ YOU THOUGHT YOU COULD BEAT ME?
SORRY-- GAME OVER ♪ I COOKED THIS BEEF
HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER ♪ HE'S OBSESSED WITH MY EXES
SORRY, JAMES, I'M NOT SINGLE ♪ BUT YOU KNOW I TAUGHT
YOUR LITTLE MISTER TO TINGLE ♪ (
>> James: YOU SAID THAT WAS STRICTLY BETWEEN US.
( LAUGHTER ) >> THE TRUTH WILL OUT.
>> James: JOSH, GIVE ME A BEAT.
>> James: ♪ HELEN WAS IMPRESSIVE THAT'S A REAL CHANGE
♪ PLAYED A QUEEN SIX TIMES WOW, THAT'S REAL RANGE
♪ AMERICA THINKS YOU'RE CLASSY BUT IT'S ALL FOR SHOW
♪ THE ACCENT ONLY SOUNDS SMART TRUST ME, I'D KNOW
♪ YOU'RE OUTDATED, OVERRATED AND I'M TEARING YOU APART
♪ I'LL KNOCK THIS NATIONAL TREASURE OUTTA GOSFORD PARK
♪ SEE, I HIT HOMERUNS YOU SHOULD STAY ON THE BENCH,
♪ I'M NOT PLAYING AROUND LIKE YOU'RE NOT DAME JUDI DENCH
(
>> ♪ I'VE PLAYED THE QUEEN BUT ALSO WARRIORS AND WITCHES
♪ CRIME LORDS AND WIZARDS BOSSES AND BITCHES
♪ DETECTIVES AND WHORES FROM ALTMAN TO SHAKESPEARE
♪ THE ONLY ROLE YOU EVER PLAYED IS “GUY WHO BEGGED TO BE HERE.”
♪ POOR JAMES CORDEN WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED
♪ UNTIL YOU FIND A WAY TO GET ATTENTION DEEP FRIED
♪ BUT THIS BATTLE IS FUN-- I'M GLAD THAT YOU ASKED
♪ IT'S THE ONLY BIT YOU DIDN'T FIND IN JIMMY FALLON'S TRASH ♪
(
OKAY.
LET'S GO, JOSH.
>> James: ♪ YOU'RE CALLED BRITISH ROYALTY
BUT CLEARLY YOU'RE NOT ♪ EVEN IN HOLLYWOOD AS A QUEEN
MEGAN MARKLE TOOK YOUR SPOT ♪ YOU APPEARED IN THE LAST "FAST
& FURIOUS" WITHOUT WARNING ♪ YOU TURNED THE WHOLE FRANCHISE
INTO VERY "SLOW & BORING" ♪ IT'S A SHAME IN HARRY POTTER
THAT YOU NEVER PLAYED A TEACHER ♪ YOUR ROLE IN JAMES BOND...
WAIT, YOU WEREN'T IN THAT EITHER ♪ I'M SORRY THAT I HAD TO BE
THE ONE TO TAKE YOU DOWN ♪ I JUST DEFEATED A QUEEN
SOMEONE HAND ME MY CROWN ♪ (
>> OFF WITH HIS HEAD.
>> ♪ YOU (
♪ A WOMAN'S WORTH ISN'T CREDITS OR WHO SAYS SHE'S HOT
♪ BOYS CLUB BULL(
♪ YOU'RE WELCOME FOR THIS HEADLINE “HELEN MIRREN CAN RAP”
♪ COMPARE ME TO MERYL, JUDI, MAGGIE, BUT WHY?
♪ THEY'RE NOT MY COMPETITION THEY'RE MY RIDE OR DIE
(
RECKONED WITH ♪ AND I RECKON I WRECKED YOU
YOU'VE BEEN TO HELEN AND BACK BITCH ♪
(
PRETTY HEATED!
SO...
WHO IS YOUR WINNER?
IS IT JAMES CORDEN?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Reggie: OR IS IT HELEN
MIRREN?
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> Reggie: THE WINNER IS HELEN
MIRREN!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) HELEN MIRREN, EVERYBODY!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) ( BAND PLAYING )
HELEN MIRREN, EVERYBODY!