Yesterday Bono and The Edge from U2 were here.
And yeah-- and today's show does not suck.
Don't act like it--
anyway, I had them fill in.
My assistant was out yesterday.
So I had them order lunch for me.
And they took Starbucks orders from my writers,
and here's what happened.
Unfortunately, my assistant is not here today.
Would you mind helping me out because--
Sure.
Sure, yeah.
Soup of the day-- what is it?
Soup of the day, please.
We need soup of the day.
While you're headed over the commissary,
my writers are thirsty.
So if you can go to Starbucks--
Got it.
The commissary is not a restaurant.
It's a sauce.
You guys, listen to me.
I'm not done talking.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Also call me when you're there.
And let me know one by one once at the salad bar.
Quick, quick, quick, like a bunny.
OK.
Good to be useful.
OK.
OK, thank you, Edge.
All right, where do we go here?
Hello, sorry.
Here for Ellen.
She's--
Do you mind?
Sorry.
[INAUDIBLE]--
We're kind of [INAUDIBLE].
It's years trying to come on her show.
Oh--
And we got there--
Worth the wait?
Actually, I don't think she's that pleased to see us now
that we've made it.
Anyway, we're trying to be useful.
Can we have an order of like 10 drinks?
So first one is a venti Chai tea, light on the ice.
All right, you want names on these?
You can do this.
Joy.
You can do this.
Second, for Gil, we want a grande ginger tea
with extra whip, right.
All right.
Is that making sense?
[INAUDIBLE]
OK.
You can do it.
OK, where's the lettuce bar?
The what?
The lettuce bar.
Lettuce--
Salad bar.
Oh, salad bar.
We don't have a salad bar here.
Is this a commissary?
It's not.
A green ice tea for Ellen.
OK, we've got that.
Because really that's cool.
She's so cool.
And she's vegan.
Is that the Ellen?
Honestly--
Yeah.
--yes, the Ellen.
Yeah.
OK, um--
Do you sell Guinness?
Not here, no.
Unfortunately.
Allison wants a tall coffee.
I should look for the salad bar.
And Jane--
Does anyone know where the salad bar is here?
Does anyone know-- do you know where the salad bar is?
The other building.
With soy, soy milk.
OK, she wants to know everything that's
happening in the salad bar.
Edge, by the way, is getting this covered.
Honestly, he's on top of it.
But we're not on top of the salad bar.
Thanks for being really helpful.
Oh, no, you're welcome.
Are we done?
Hi, I'm Bono.
Yeah, we're done.
I mean, I'm Bono.
He's The Edge.
Nice to meet you two.
Why do you guys have
nametags?
Got
Our last album got into a bit of bother.
And just in case you forget.
I mean--
Do you have those things that you carry stuff in, you know,
those--
Yeah.
Have you got any cash?
I think you're putting it on the tab.
Do you do a tab here?
Sure, we'll do a tab.
Here I'll carry that.
OK, and we got--
Let me get you organized here.
Teamwork.
That's what a band is all about.
You can grab the straws.
I'll grab the straws.
I'll carry that.
Is that it?
OK, we've got it.
OK, thanks everybody.
Thanks.
We got this.
Go ahead.
We got this.
OK, hold on a sec.
I'm back.
All right, you guys got everything?
Not quite.
Hold on.
This could go horribly wrong.
You're doing great, Edge.
He is amazing.
And he's a really great guitar player.
I don't know if you know that.
[INAUDIBLE]
He made the echo box famous.
Oh.
Yeah.
Cool think.
OK, we're good.
You good over there?
Yeah, we're a little behind schedule here.
I'm disappointed we didn't get to the salad bar.
That could undo all the good stuff.
That's all I'm worried about.
Where do we go?
Do you know?
We're looking for the salad.
It's over here I think.
You've always been a great friend to me
as well as a great car mate.
But I thought today you're really out-showing yourself.
I think we're doing great as a team.
I told them anyway.
All right, let's see.
But I said, I'm not going to say that, No.
[LAUGHTER]
[INAUDIBLE] I didn't know.
Oh, hi.
Hey.
I think we did good.
Yeah?
Just didn't get the salad bar thing organized.
Oh.
I'm sorry.
All right, well--
I was busy or something.
But--
Good job getting it to me first.
Yes, thank you.
You got the straw.
Is there a straw?
Mr. Edge-- Edge--
I have straws.
OK, good.
Thank you so much.
Bono's doing the straws.
Thank you.
We have a little bit of a problem.
What happened?
We seemed to get a little confused.
Rick, is that your drink?
No.
This is just-- I don't want to be difficult. This is tea.
OK, that's just-- it's OK.
It's their first time.
Let's be respectful.
These two mens are musicians.
They're not assistants.
You guys really [BLEEP] up.
[LAUGHTER]
It was Edge.
Sorry.
You know what's good is teamwork and not blaming someone else.
So if someone [BLEEP] up, you both [BLEEP] up.
That's what I meant.
Yeah.
I meant we really [BLEEP] up, Ellen.
Real sorry about that.
You know what? that's all right.
Both of you are terrific, terrific fellas.
He's a great guitar player.
You certainly are.
Really, really good one.
You're a good one.
You're a little guitar player.
[LAUGHTER]
Yeah, and you do the songs and the dancing.
I can sing.
I'm good at that.
Let's face it you guys.
You've picked the right business because God
forbid if you didn't have some kind of musical talent,
both of you would be broke and on the street.
[PHONE RINGING]
The phone's ringing.
If you could just--
[INAUDIBLE]
OK, oh.
[BLEEP] that didn't go very well.
[LAUGHTER]
Hi, I'm Andy.
Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel
so you can see more awesome videos,
like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,
like ball-peen-hammer and also some videos of Ellen
and other celebrities if you're into that sort of thing.
[YELLS]
[SCREAMS] [BLEEP] God [BLEEP]