(techno music)
- I will give you one rice for your sandwich.
- What?
One grain of rice?
- Yes, that's what I said, one rice.
- Hi, guys.
(exclamations of surprise)
- Wow, you got some sun.
- You noticed.
I can't wait until this glow turns
into a beautiful golden tan.
- I think it's a little burnt.
- It's all part of my process.
I burn myself really good at the end of summer,
so it turns into a tan that lasts all winter.
- I don't think that's how it works.
- Yeah.
- Guys I do this every year.
I think I know how my body works.
- Whoa!
- Oh, no!
I thought you were burned before, but your body is
so much worse.
- Yeah, you look like the Canadian flag, just red and white.
- Thank you.
It's so nice to see where you started from, you know.
- No, you're like really burnt.
Does that not hurt?
- Yes, that's how I know it's working.
Katie will you put aloe on my back?
- Okay.
- Thank you.
(shrieks of disgust)
Oh, good, I'm starting to peel.
That's the next step.
- I can't finish, you have to do the rest.
- You're molting.
- You guys are just jealous
you're going to be rusty, crusty, pale and dusty in October,
and I'm going to be a golden goddess.
- I think I got some in my mouth.
- Yes, it's spreading.
- It looks like you have golf balls in your face.
- Ooh, goody, popping blisters is my favorite part.
(shrieks of disgust)
Once these blisters heal, I'm going to have the sexiest tan.
- Oh, God, no!
Stop popping.
- I think you need medical attention.
- Oh, come on, I'm supposed to trust
the two most pale people in the office.
- It's getting worse.
- Thank you.
- Oh, no!
- It has to get worse before it gets better.
- You look like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.
- Oh, goody.
That means it's time to go on the roof and get a top coat.
- [Both] No!
- This is going to be the sickest tan ever.
(screaming)
- Hi, I'm Cynthia from College Humor.
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And now for a wipe breakdown.
Star wipe.
Diamond wipe.
Venetian wipe.
Iris.