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Hey guys, just listening, somebody was just talking
post my keynote and said
how you do something is how you do everything.
And I've heard that a lot, and I get it right,
which is like be disciplined, be good at the process,
I actually just don't believe in it at all.
I actually think that when you deploy self awareness
and you really get to know yourself
that there's certain things
that you love so much you go hard,
and there's certain things that you don't like at all
and you go soft.
Like I don't do entrepreneurship the way I did school.
So I actually don't believe that,
and I think it's an important conversation.
I think we need to have much more of a conversation
of like self awareness,
like who are you?
What are you about?
What do you like?
What's your process?
Are you creative, are you anal?
Are you about the process, are you about the money?
Like how are you driven, how do you work?
Do you like, I like chaos and I need music to concentrate,
you need a silent room.
We're so so different.
I actually think how you do
the things that you love the most
is usually the indicator of your happiness and success.
(slow music)
just landed, we're here in Orlando.
Boring keynote going on right now
which only sets me up for a fire fest,
so I'm excited about that.
Then we'll fuckin' jump on a quick plane to Miami,
Miami to London, dominating London for two days,
London to Dubai, dominating Dubai for two days,
back to New York, land 8:25 in the morning Sunday.
Apartment, shower, Jets Raiders.
- What's up man?
- What's good bro?
- How you doing?
- How are you, real pleasure.
- What's up?
- What's good bro?
- What's up man?
- I appreciate that bro.
I appreciate that bro.
Reset.
I appreciate that, thank you for saying that.
For real, it means a lot to me.
- I mean that, seriously.
- I make content for,
man the way I grew up was interesting.
And especially the kids I went to college with,
real interesting.
Like the kids from your hood.
And like, I make the content for that person.
This is where I think you've got a huge advantage.
When you come from failure,
then you shouldn't,
like this is what I'm trying.
- 'Cause you know what rock bottom is.
- This is where I'm trying to go.
When I talk to the streets,
I'm like mother fucker,
what the fuck are you worried about failure for?
You're not worried about failure,
you're worried about judgment from your other homies.
- All right.
- It's not about failure, it's about, you understand?
- Yeah, I got you.
- I done lost.
When people are like,
I was like I was bad at sports,
I was bad at school, I already lost.
They told me I couldn't win.
That's exactly what you grew up on.
The bigger thing is you might be scared
to lost in front of your friends.
What are they gonna say?
You know what I mean?
That's where people get caught.
They're not scared of losing,
especially from the way you came up,
they're scared about what their boys gonna say.
- Gotcha.
- You know what I mean?
That's why those are two separate things.
That's why I always talk,
you know how I always talk about like
people that have a lot of money,
they're more unhappy than you think.
They're actually scared of losing.
- Gotcha.
- You know, 'cause they've never done anything.
They've never stood on their two feet.
And they're like worried, they're like wait a minute,
like they know, they're like that's mom's money,
that's why I'm here.
On the flip side,
people that come from the dirt,
they already lost, they're worried about judgment.
They're worried about their boy saying
oh you're trying to sell out now.
Oh you gonna be good now,
you know all that shit.
You can't change, like misery loves company.
And these are your best friends.
They don't really want you to be miserable,
they're just in such a bad place themselves
that they're scared that you might get good
and then they're gonna be by themselves.
Misery does love company, that's real.
And so I tell a lot of kids,
I'm like listen, your homies,
especially when they keep hearing me,
they're like oh fuck, it's my homies that are fuckin' me up.
And then I try to flip it on 'em like listen,
don't be mad at your homie,
your homie's still just not at the place
that he's ready to fuckin' get his shit together.
She's not ready to get her shit together.
So they may be undermining you right now,
they might now even be consciously doing that.
They're just in so much pain still,
they wanna be with you still down here.
So it's almost like you have to have passion for them.
But you gotta recognize that's what your fearing.
(slow music)
- [Announcer] Give yourselves a roaring round of applause
for Gary V.
(cheering)
- This goes back to judgment.
The reason so many of you wanna win right now so fast
is you wanna show other people you won.
This is why credit cards fucked everyone.
People wanna buy shit they can't afford
to show people they're actually winning
versus actually winning.
My friends.
(applause)
My friends, we're in a deep, listen to me,
we're in a deeply deeply complicated place
where we've always worried about fronting
and impressing others,
and that used to be 13 people,
and now we live complete public lives and its everybody,
so it's compounded.
Everybody's taking a hike on the weekend
for the Instagram photo,
not for the fuckin' hike.
People are right now subconsciously,
you don't even realize you're doing it
right now if you took a step back
you can't imagine how much you're thinking
about your holiday vacation
predicated on the photos you post
versus the vacation itself.
We live in a world where people
yearn for affirmation or compliments.
Which makes them wildly vulnerable to booing.
The reason so many of you struggle
and you don't post with a negative hater
or this is because you overvalue compliments
which make you vulnerable to negativity.
This is something we really need to start talking about.
Like why are you here?
Like why are we here today?
- [Woman In Crowd] I love you.
- I love you too.
(applause)
On some real shit like what are we doing here?
I assume if you've decided to spend money
on a, what's today Monday?
On a Monday afternoon and listen to this shit
that you're looking for something.
Which is cool, my curiosity is what?
Because for me, if you're looking for tactics
they're so easy.
I've been telling you, how many people here follow me?
(cheering)
What, you think you're gonna get
something crazy up here today?
(laughing)
You know exactly what I'm gonna fuckin' say.
I feel like Aerosmith up here.
I'm not playing new music,
I'm gonna play the fuckin' classics.
(applause)
But the reason I keep doing this
and why it's interesting to me
is I've learned in the last decade especially,
but kind of always knew,
right place, right time, right analogy, right moment, right?
Like to me it's been fascinating
to watch people consume my content.
You know what's great about how I do it,
and how I recommend you do it
is read your comments.
Ready your DM's, read you,
I know a lot of you are mad I haven't texted you back,
I get fuckin' 4,000 of them a day.
I'm texting 300 back, I just can't fuckin' catch up,
but I'm telling you I read that shit.
And the reason I read it
is it allows me to know what I need to talk about here.
You think I knew that people were fuckin' super sad
because their parents were paying for shit?
I didn't know that.
My parents didn't pay for my shit.
So I could have never known that.
It was the thousands of emails in the last five years
that I've read from kids in their 20s
who finally reconciled the fact
of like oh fuck my unhappiness
comes from the fact that my parents
are secretly paying for my life
which consciously and subconsciously
makes me feel like a fuckin' loser.
Let me tell you something right now,
you wanna get happy real real real fast?
I don't know how many people
this is gonna work for in this room,
but if you're in this camp,
if you are over the age of 22
and your parents pay for anything
on some real shit you need to leave this conference,
call your parents, and say
I'm never taking another fucking dollar from you.
(cheering)
There is nothing more obvious to me
out of all the listening I've done in the last half decade,
the thing I just said
is leading to a stunning amount of bad.
A bad between the kid and the parents,
a bad about that kid,
all they're doing is taking that money
to look like they're doing something
which starts corroding you subconsciously
in a way that you can not imagine.
I'm telling you,
living on your own two feet
is foundational to happiness.
The resentment that you're creating towards your parents,
and the resentment that your parents are going towards you
is remarkable.
It's really funny, 40 year old crowd and higher go up,
you guys remember when we were growing up,
if your parents were gonna help you, you borrowed money.
You paid it back.
We're not living there anymore.
And that's amazing, and I know parents,
listen, as somebody who grew up with not a little
and has a lot now,
I look at my kids, I want to,
but I want them to be happy,
not look like they're successful.
(slow music)
- I owe you for all my success, no bullshit,
seven years ago I was in a hotel
I mean I followed you through it all.
Like no bullshit, I know about you eating the wings,
the whole rundown, all the way back from wine library,
I own a college downtown.
50,000 students because of you, no bullshit, thank you.
That's all, just gratitude, I'm happy, thank you.
- I'm happy to meet you.
- I followed your social,
I've been posting like mad,
and I took my mortgage business, I'm a mortgage banker,
from 13 million in 2017, to 46 million this year,
all social media, that's it.
- I get it bro, real pleasure.
Yo just landed in Miami,
about to go catch this little shuttle to the main airport.
Headed to London, good day, good keynote,
got a lot done.
Lot of Vayner Sports, a lot of Vayner Media stuff.
Logistically just a grinding of a day.
Gonna bang out on email now for two to three hours.
The mission.