all right well I you know obviously
we're having our laughs here we're
having a good time but we should
probably get serious soon because folks
I think it's high time once again we
look into the future
that's right James left and left foot to
the future all the way in the air mm
[Applause]
[Music]
sails approaches kisses will plummet
when the kisses starts slipping people
some tongue
[Music]
Ruben Studdard will announce that in
order to lose weight he has gotten his
stomach stapled
unfortunately the staples are made of
pure Canadian bacon
[Music]
an English major will break up with her
boyfriend she will make him feel better
by reassuring him it's not you it's I
[Music]
federal investigators will break into
Barry Bonds house just as the slugger is
opening a bottle of steroids bonds will
evade arrest however by tossing the
bottle a thousand miles into space
[Music]
adidas will make a 250 dollar sneaker
equipped with a computer the sneaker
will be so smart it will make fun of you
for wasting $250 on a sneaker men
everywhere will find it easier to quit
smoking when the nicotine patch is
replaced by the far more effective
nicotine hooker
[Music]
historians will discover the julius
caesar's last words were not at tu brute
a but rather not in the crotch not in
the crotch comedians will feel so guilty
about all the MC Hammer jokes they've
told they will male hammer a check for
ten million dollars which hammer will
immediately invest in a magical
chocolate racehorse
[Music]
twenty years after the series ended the
friends cast will reunite for a special
reunion show everyone will participate
except Mexican dictator Matt LeBlanc
[Music]
even gays will object to gay marriage
when James Lipton marries ice-t simply
to become James Lipton iced tea
[Music]
[Applause]
an evil writer for Late Night with Conan
O'Brien will set out to see if James
Lipton will say Pete paints pretty pink
ping-pong balls with his penis James
Lipton will of course refuse
[Music]
Batman will admit that he's gay and Clay
Aiken will admit that he's Batman
[Music]
[Applause]
it's all trained you
thanks to Dean listen to the way back
and banished