Hello hello…
Breakup Brad here, and today’s video is going to be for anyone who feels like their
ex can’t make up their mind.
Maybe you’re getting the hot and cold treatment from your ex, where one minute they seem to
want you back and the next minute they ignore you… or maybe it’s even less subtle than
that, and they’ve flat out told you that they’re just not sure whether breaking up
was the right decision, but they’re not willing to get back together either.
Whatever it is… if your ex seems to be flip-flopping all over the place, giving you mixed signals,
and unwilling to commit to the breakup or to getting back together….
This video is for you.
If this is your first time on my channel, I’m Brad Browning and I’ve been YouTube’s
leading breakup coach since 2012… through my videos and my best-selling Ex Factor program,
I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of people get their ex back or get over their breakup.
If you want my personal help with your situation, visit BreakupBrad.com/Coaching to sign up
and work with me 1-on-1 starting today.
Now, with the self-promotion out of the way… let’s talk about why your ex is undecided
about the breakup, what it means, and what you should do about it in order to win them
back.
Why Your Ex Seems Undecided
Alright…
I want to start with a simple reality check.
In situations where your ex can’t seem to make up their mind about the breakup, it’s
almost always the truth…
they’re not normally giving you the mixed messages or the flip-flop treatment because
they’ve got some underlying motive or they’re trying to hide the truth to avoid hurting
you.
Most of the time -- not always, but in the vast majority of situations -- they genuinely
don’t know what they want.
They’re not faking it, they’re legitimately unable to decide or commit to a decision one
way or another.
Now, if you want a second chance with this ex… and I assume that’s the case for most
of you watching…
this is actually great news.
It means they’re not fully committed to the breakup yet.
It means they’re still trying to weigh the pros and cons, get a taste of what life is
like without you around, or maybe even just enjoy some time and space to think.
Whatever the reasons, you can be optimistic about your odds of getting them back if they’re
not willing to commit to a permanent breakup.
If you haven’t already, go to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz after this video is over and take my free
5-minute quiz to get a better idea of your current chances and what you need to do next
to maximize those odds.
Like I said, you’re probably in a pretty good situation right now if your ex is giving
you mixed signals and can’t make up their mind… but taking the quiz is still a good
idea.
So, head to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz after the video if you haven’t already.
Before we move on and talk about how you can make your ex decide to take you back, let
me briefly explain why your ex might be unable to make up their mind and commit to breaking
up or getting back together.
Firstly, your ex is almost certainly scared.
They’re terrified, in fact, of facing the reality of life without you by their side.
They became accustomed to your relationship, they enjoyed the security and the companionship
and intimacy that come with a long-term relationship… and they know that breaking up and losing
all those things is going to be very painful.
It’s no secret that breakups are usually gut-wrenching for both people involved, and
your ex knows that… and even though they likely won’t admit it, a lot of their indecision
right now is probably driven by a fear of the breakup heartache.
But not only are they afraid of the heartache and pain that follows a breakup…
they’re also afraid of losing you.
They’re afraid that if they commit to breaking up -- if they tell you outright, in no uncertain
terms, that it’s over for good -- you’ll move on and they’ll lose you for good.
You won’t be around as a “plan B” backup option anymore.
That’s maybe even MORE frightening than the post-breakup emotions… and that’s
why they’re keeping you around, stringing you along by telling you they don’t know
what they want.
They’re holding on to you as a backup option, ensuring they don’t lose you for good before
they’re ready to commit to a permanent breakup.
In some cases, your ex might even be stringing you along like this while they look for someone
new… someone they hope they’ll be even more compatible with.
Sometimes they’ll do this because there were real, legitimate problems plaguing your
relationship that they feel won’t be an issue in a future relationship with someone
new… and sometimes it’s more a result of false assumptions and the glorified Hollywood
“perfect soulmate” fantasy.
They might dream of having the kind of relationship they’ve seen in movies, where couples never
fight and fall madly in love almost overnight.
Obviously, we all know this isn’t the way things work in real life…
no relationship is perfect, and no-one finds their soulmate and lives happily ever after
without any bumps along the way.
But some people fall victim to the “Grass Is Greener” syndrome and want to try and
find greener pastures and chase that fantasy no matter how healthy and loving your relationship
was.
Whatever the case is for your ex… whatever subconscious justifications they’ve got
spinning around in their head that are making them string you along and avoid commiting
to a breakup or to getting back together…
it’s likely based on genuine indecision on their part, and it’s also likely driven
by an underlying fear of losing you.
This leads us to the next question, which is…
What Can You Do To Convince Your Ex To Take You Back?
Like we already talked about, your ex fears losing you.
They fear that by telling you in no uncertain terms that this breakup is real and permanent,
they’ll no longer be able to change their mind if things don’t work out.
This is a great thing for your chances of getting them back… and you need to magnify
that fear in the back of your ex’s mind, and make sure they understand what they’re
losing if they don’t soon decide to commit to taking you back.
Remember: this is what they fear, and this is usually at the root of their indecisiveness.
So the more they feel that fear, that potential loss knowing you’ll no longer be around
as their backup plan… the more urgency you create to the situation, and the more they
will be tempted to ask you to take them back.
How do you actually ensure that your ex feels this kind of urgency and sense of loss…
to the point where it makes them decide to finally commit to getting back together?
Well, the simplest way is just to employ a period of No Contact and stop letting them
have it both ways.
Don’t be there for them any more…
don’t let them adjust to life after the breakup slowly.
Go cold turkey, and make them feel the full repercussions of breaking up and all the heartache
that will come from you suddenly disappearing.
This might sound cold and devious, but I honestly don’t think it’s unfair at all to your
ex.
They’re stringing you along in a way… trying to have their cake and eat it too…
and you’re simply standing up for your own right to move on and find someone who’s
actually willing to commit to a relationship instead of leaving you hanging as a backup
plan.
Even if your ex has zero desire to hurt you and their indecision about breaking up is
completely subconscious, they’re still asking you for time apart by breaking up, despite
not fully committing to that decision long term.
So, in my opinion, you shouldn’t feel at all guilty about going No Contact on an ex
who can’t make up their mind or doesn’t know what they want.
Is there a possibility -- a very slim possibility, even -- that this could end up with your ex
deciding to make things permanent?
Maybe you’re worried that giving them time and space during No Contact will help them
get over you and decide to make the breakup permanent… and that could, in some rare
cases, actually be a risk.
But it’s less of a risk than continuing to allow yourself to be strung along as your
ex’s Plan B option, and continuing to be clingy and needy by sticking around hoping
they’ll change their mind and commit to getting back together.
To sum it all up, if you want your ex back… and they can’t seem to make up their mind
or decide what they really want…
your best bet for making them take you back is to show them that you’re not waiting
around, that you’re confident enough to accept breaking up and move on to someone
new… that you know you’re a great catch, and that you’re not willing to beg and plead
with someone who won’t commit to being with you.
Employ a period of No Contact, get out there and be as busy and as social as possible…
act like you’re quickly getting over your ex and you’ve fully accepted the breakup,
even if they continue to occasionally throw you bread crumbs that suggest they might want
you back.
If you do this correctly, and have the commitment to fully embrace the idea of moving on and
acting like you believe this breakup is permanent…
there’s a very good chance your ex will cave to the urgency and the fear of losing
you and come crawling back, begging you for another chance.
In fact, this is a key component of the psychological techniques I share in my full tutorial video
at BreakupBrad.com…
so, for those of you watching who KNOW you belong with your ex and can’t stomach the
idea of losing them… do what I just talked about in this video, but also go to BreakupBrad.com
and watch my free tutorial video and apply all the strategies I share in that video as
well.
By doing so, you’ll be maximizing your chances and hopefully soon end up back with your ex
in a new, more committed relationship.
Hope you guys found this video helpful - leave your questions in the comments below so I
can get back to you, and don’t forget to subscribe and like this video too.
Thanks for watching to the end, thanks for being awesome, and all the best!
See you again soon.