- Hey, y'all, welcome back.
Mama Doctor Jones, OBGYN and mom to four.
Today is one of the most important videos
I've made in a long time.
That's maybe not true.
I find all of my videos to be
extremely valuable and important.
(chuckles) That sounded really self-serving.
I don't know. What?
Okay, today's video is really important
and I'm glad you're here to watch it.
It is all about things you need to know about postpartum
and healing after birth.
I am sorry if the background noise is really loud,
this house is right on a major street.
And I did not take that into calculation
when I was planning where to film my videos.
I have my microphone right here,
set up on a McDonald's cup because we're boujee
in this house.
And I'm hoping that that helps
with some of the background music.
I mean, the background noise not interfering.
This video is sponsored by WaterWipes.
(upbeat music)
(chuckles) I have filmed this video,
this part of this video, like 14 times,
because somebody keeps knocking on the door
or I forget what I'm talking about, or go off on a tangent.
So I'm back and we're going to jump into it.
So, number one question I get before you leave the hospital
or at your postpartum visit
is when can I go back to having sex?
Sometimes people are asking
because they really aren't ready
and they'd like me to tell them don't do it yet.
And sometimes people are asking
because they want to get back to their normal sex life
as soon as possible.
I want to normalize either of those situations
being perfectly acceptable.
Our job as healthcare providers isn't to tell you
whether you should want to go back to having sex
or you shouldn't, it's just to tell you
when it would be safe.
If you had a tear at the time of delivery,
it's going to take a few weeks for that to heal.
If you didn't have a tear,
it still takes time for the cervix to completely close
and that bleeding to slow down
where having sex won't increase your risk of infection.
We usually recommend about six weeks,
and this is a ballpark range
of when most people are healed enough to have sex
and it not increase their risk of infection
or cause them pain.
If you're not mentally or emotionally or physically ready
to have sex at that six week mark, that is okay too.
Take the time you need, your life has changed drastically,
and it is normal.
Your partner should be supportive of this
and if they're not, send them to chat with me
because I would be happy to chat with them.
It's also really important that we see you back before that,
because we need to check on
the state of healing of everything.
And we need a minute to talk to you
about your postpartum contraception plan.
This is notably specific to people
who have had a vaginal delivery.
However, there's also some information in here
that some people may find helpful
even if they had a caesarian delivery.
And I have an entire video on healing after a C-section
that I will link in the description below.
You'll probably want to get a peri bottle
and most hospitals will actually send you home with one.
I don't have one to show you,
but I'll try to put a picture on the screen.
It's basically a little squirt bottle that you can use
to help you go to the bathroom
and to help clean up afterwards.
It's also really good to help
with decreasing burning with urination
and I'll tell you how.
You have an abrasion or a tear
or stitches that are burning,
sometimes spraying some water
on the vulva while you're urinating
can help dilute some of the acidic urine
so that it doesn't burn quite so bad when you go pee.
Another really helpful item is a donut.
And this is a blowup thing that you sit on.
It's a little pillow, you put air in it
and it literally looks like a big donut.
Takes the pressure off the central part when you sit.
There's also some really great hemorrhoid pads and creams
that either help numb the area or decrease inflammation,
which a lot of doctors will recommend as well.
And then most importantly,
and this isn't specific to the vulva,
but just in general for healing any part of your body
when you've been through a major event;
rest, rest, rest, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
I know you're not going to be sleeping eight hours a night
as soon as you come from the hospital with a new baby,
but don't put pressure on yourself
to be doing anything other than just healing
and taking care of your baby.
Those are your only jobs in the postpartum period,
heal and take care of your baby.
And in that timeframe do lots of hydrating
because you're going to need that extra water.
The number one most important thing
about caring for the vulva after a vaginal delivery
is no harsh chemicals or scrubs or soaps.
All you need is plain water
and maybe a gentle unscented soap, like Dove.
You don't want to be scrubbing hard
or using anything that could disrupt stitches.
And you definitely don't want to be putting anything
on the inside of the vagina.
So just use some gentle soap and water,
clean everything off, spray it off with some water
and you should be good to go.
In-between showers, if you need something
to help clean up or wipe blood off,
you can use something like WaterWipes, they are 99.9% water,
and definitely okay to use in the postpartum period
if you need them.
While we're on the topic of WaterWipes,
I will tell you a little bit about them
since they are the sponsor of this video.
When my babies were little,
they had some diaper rash problems.
And I noticed every time I would use our normal wipes,
they would scream in pain and I wanted to find something
that would be better for their skin.
And WaterWipes solved that completely.
They are 99.9% water with just a drop of fruit extract,
which means they don't have that same burning sensation
that regular baby wipes have.
These are now the wipes that we use all the time.
I feel like they are much more gentle on the baby's skin.
All kinds of different uses for these products,
for diapers, for hands, for faces.
All the time, everything.
- A wipey. (giggles) - A wipey.
I can't recommend them more highly as a product
and also as a company.
They have sponsored this video in particular,
which is really rare for a brand to say,
hey, not only do we want to sponsor a video on your channel,
but we want it to be something that's really important
and makes a difference in the lives of our new parents
who are using our product, I appreciate that.
Please check them out. I really, really love their product.
And I appreciate you letting me tell you
all about them today.
There are all kinds of reasons that people choose
or need to use or supplement with formula.
Of course, this is safe.
I am a big advocate for breastfeeding.
I have personally breastfed all four of my babies
for at least a year.
I see the medical and personal benefits
that this has had in my life.
And I know the literature that says breast milk is important
and nutritionally optimal for a baby.
That being said, I don't like the stigma around formula.
If there is a reason you need or want to use formula,
it's okay.
If you were gung ho breastfeeding and it's not working out,
or it's becoming an interference
in your ability to enjoy your baby and bond with your baby,
it's okay to change the plan.
Talk to your doctor.
If you want to see a lactation consultant,
there's so many resources out there.
But at the end of the day, if you need to supplement,
it's okay, it is okay to do what you feel is best
for yourself and your baby
and move forward after you make that decision
without any guilt, because you're the only one
who knows what is best in the situation
that you and your baby are in.
So my general answer to this
when we are not in a world of COVID pandemic
is it's probably safe to have visitors
with reasonable precautions.
Don't let people kiss baby on the face.
Don't let people, you know, get up in baby's face
and you know, get their bodily fluids all over the baby,
things like that.
That's changed a little bit.
Although we see babies tend to do well with COVID,
we still would like to protect them from getting exposed
or having it because we don't know the long-term effects.
My recommendation is absolutely
to limit the amount of visitors
who come and see your baby after delivery.
If you choose to have visitors,
please, please, please enforce wearing a mask
and very good hand hygiene procedures.
This is definitely going to be
a risk benefit analysis for you.
And everybody's level of risk tolerance
is going to be different.
So my recommendation is,
make a decision that is best for you.
But if you decide to have visitors,
please, please have them wear a mask and use hand hygiene.
And if possible, just don't let them hold the baby.
I know that's why people visit after you have a baby,
but I can definitively tell you if I had a baby
who was a newborn right now,
we would not be having visitors over to see them.
And I have been pretty relaxed
about all things with my babies.
So just give some good consideration to, at minimum,
taking really strict precautions.
This is really hard.
We have seen a big rise in depression and anxiety
in the general population, as well as in postpartum parents.
This is hard because you're not having
that same social support that you would generally have
after a baby.
What can you do to improve that?
One, we need to be talking about it.
If you're struggling, talk to your doctor,
talk to your significant other, talk to your support person.
Even if it's someone outside of your bubble
and you need to talk to them by Zoom, talk to somebody.
We need to make it normal
to discuss how we're feeling all the time.
But especially right now,
when we have less face-to-face interaction
and people can't see how we're feeling quite so well.
So we've definitely seen a big rise in the amount of people
expressing feelings of anxiety or depression,
or even being diagnosed with
postpartum depression and anxiety.
And I think that we will see
this as a direct result of the pandemic
and the way that socially distancing has impacted people
who are in the newly postpartum period
and really, in normal times,
would be relying on that social support.
So if you are in that situation,
please, please, please talk to someone.
Your doctor, your OBGYN, the baby's pediatrician,
your spouse, your significant other,
whoever your support person is
and/or your healthcare provider.
And if you are someone who is like a friend or family member
of someone who has recently had a baby,
make sure you're calling and checking in with them,
asking them to get real with you about how they're feeling
and do the normal things that you would
to support new parents, but do them from afar.
Send them food, get them, you know, meal train deliveries,
things like that that can help.
Even just order some diapers from Amazon
straight to their doorstep.
These are really helpful and it makes them feel seen
and it makes them know that people are thinking about them,
even if they can't be right there
doing the dishes and laundry for 'em.
And then the last the question,
which I think is the most important question
in this whole series,
who should I call if I'm having problems?
And the answer to that is,
call your doctor, call your midwife or call the nurses line.
Please, please don't call Facebook or your Reddit thread
or your mom group.
Please, please rely on the health care professionals
who know your history and are specifically trained
to take care of you in regard to these things.
Almost every a hospital is going to send you home
with some kind of nurses line or hotline to call
if you're having problems.
So that stack of papers they gave you
when you were discharged from the hospital, pull those out,
flip through them until you find the number
and call someone if you're struggling.
If you are struggling with postpartum depression
or suicidal thoughts,
don't be afraid to call the suicide hotline.
I will put that number in the description below,
or go straight to the ER.
It's okay to go to the ER for suicidal thoughts.
This is why we are there.
Things to call your doctor about
that would be non mental health things,
if you're having really heavy bleeding,
soaking through a pad front to back side to side
in less than an hour, please call your doctor
or the number that they gave you for problems.
If you have a severe headache,
that's not getting better with Tylenol,
please call your doctor.
If you are getting worse, instead of better,
your pain is getting worse instead of better.
If you have a fever over a 100.3,
if anything else is going on that you're worried about,
if you're watching this video because you don't know
if you should call your doctor,
please call your doctor or midwife
or advanced practice provider or nurse line or whoever.
Just call someone who knows your history
and can hear your specific question.
I think that's the one take home point
that I want to reach the most people,
is if you have a problem, don't be afraid to call and ask.
Okay, guys, I hope you learned something today.
Be kind to yourself, to each other, to me.
In the comments be kind, and I will see you next time.