Welcome to Sword Art Online !
Announcer: Sword Art Online is the greatest game ever!
Kirito: This is the Greatest Game EVER!
Announcer: You are now all trapped
until someone completes a hundred floors
Kirito: Fuck
Announcer: Haha, most of you are actually guys!
Oh and if you die in here you die in real life.
*panic ensues*
Kirito: YOU, come with me!
I need a comedic sidekick!
Klein: Actually I think I can be an interesting character
audiences would like
to see more of-
SHUT UP Klein,
come back when you're
a Main Character™!
ಥ_ಥ (#saveKlein)
Announcer: 2 Months have passed
and 2,000 people have died.
Generic Knight: Too many people have died!
So your only objective of this raid is
DON'T DIE!
Oh God, I'm dying.
Kirito: Drink the potion.
Generic Knight: This is it,
I can tell this is the end!
Kirito: DRINK the goddamn potion!
Generic Knight: Just tell my family I love them
Kirito: WILL YOU JUST DRINK THE POTION ALREADY?!
bleh
WHY DIDN'T YOU DRINK THE POTION?!
Screw it, I'll do it myself.
Fangirl: Oh my God, I want his babies!
Bystander: Who the hell is he?
Kirito: I'm the Black Swordsman.
Guts: No, you're fuckin not.
Rosalia Bitch: How the hell did he get so Overpowered™?!
Kirito: psh
I'm not Overpowered™!
FUCK
OUTPLAYED
MLG
2GUD (WOMBO COMBO)
PRESS F (HAPPY FEET)
4v1 (IT AIN'T FALCO!)
REVERSE GANK
[Mechanical God]
Kirito: Now I just need to find
my generic love interest!
Kirito: Are you the right one?
Harem Victim: I guess I could-
*Blood-curdling scream*
Ped-ito: Are you the right one?
Harem Victim #2: I'm like 12!
Kirito: Are YOU the right one?
Harem Victim #3: I'm as useless as a hedgehog in a condom factory!
Kirito: How about you
Tits McGee?
Asundere: It's not like I like you or anything
you idiot
BAKA!
Kirito: Perfect
Hi!
Asuna: HI!
Kirito: Wanna get married?
Asuna: OK!
Kirito: Wanna have sex?
Ass-una: OK!
(Underage Sex ensues)
Asuna: Does this mean
we can have children now?
Kirito: GOD, I hope not.
Asuna: Kirito, look what I found!
Kirito: You've gotta be fucking kidding me.
Asuna: Can we keep it?
Kirito: No
Asuna: But I want ooonnneee!
Kirito: NO
Asuna: Pleeeeeeeease
Kiri-no: NO!
Asuna: I'm not having sex with you for a month!
Kirito: FINE
If you promise to feed it properly
and take it for walks.
Satan: Are you my mama and papa?
Asuna: YES!
Kirito: NOOO!!
Can we just go back to showing me being Overpowered™?
Oh, so apparently I can dual-wield now!
Harem Victim #5: Hey, how is that fair-
Kirito: SHUT UP, Klein!
Come back when you're a Main Character™!
ಥ_ಥ
(RIP Klein. You were the MC we needed, but not the one we deserved)
Now no one can beat me at this game!
Heathcliff: I'mma let you finish Kirito but,
I AM THE GREATEST SAO PLAYER
(cheater)
OF ALLLLL TIME!
Kirito: YOU WANNA GO?
FIGHT ME IRL BRO!
fuck
Announcer: Heathcliff WIN!
Kirito: HAX!
I call hax!
Not-Kayaba-Akihiko: What?
Kirito: You're Kayaba Akihiko aren't you?
Definitely-Not-Akihiko: What are you talking about?
Kirito: Obviously no one else can beat me at this game!
Clearly not Kayaba Akihiko: I commend you for figuring out the truth.
NOW FIGHT ME!
Kirito: Oh, shit, seriously? I was just talking out of my ass!
Kayaba Akihiko: Whoopsie Daisy!
Kirito: Asuna,
WHYYYYYY?!?!
Asuna: Because that's the only useful thing I'm ever gonna do...
(Oops)
Kirito: I'M STILL GONNA DIE
YOU STUPID BITCH!
Now you die.
HAX MODE ON!
What?
(penetration)
Kayaba Akihiko: This doesn't even make sense...!
Kirito: gg no re
Kayaba Akihiko: Congratulations on beating the game.
Kirito: So, how come you wanted to trap thousands of people in this game?
Pfft
I dunno.
Kirito: Seems legit.
Asuna: I'm gonna blow you so hard when we get out of here!
Kirito: OK!
WAKE UP BITCH YOU OWE ME A BLOWJOB!
Generic Villian: I'm afraid she's not going to wake up...
Kirito: Who are you?
Generic Pedo: I'm the new bad guy of this arc who's going to marry this girl!
Hahahahaha!
Kirito: Alright PedoMcRapeFace,
have fun getting dead fished for the rest of your life.
Harem Victim #5: Hi, I'm Incest!
Kirito: Sorry Incest, I'm not really interested right now.
What am I supposed to do now?
Agil: Have you heard? There's a new RPG out!
Kirito: Now's not the time for games!
I have to figure out a way to save Asun-
HOLY SHIT YOU CAN FLY?
I'M
SO
FUCKING
ON
THIS!
Agil: What about saving Asuna?
Kirito: Saving who?
Incest: You have black hair and you're really good at video games!
Just like my brother!
Kirito: That very big breasts!
Just like my sister!
Incest: Did I ever tell you I was in love with my brother?
Kirito: Wow It'd sure suck if I was your brother!
Incest: YOU'RE MY BROTHER?!
Kirito: I'M YOUR BROTHER?!
FUCK!
I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY BROTHER.
Kirito: Sugu (Incest), wait!
You still might have a chance with me!
Incest: I'm instantly over it.
Let's play more video games!
Incest: This final boss is impossible to beat!
Kirito: HA!
Who the hell do you think I am?
I'm Kirito-
AHHHHHHHHHHHH
*GANKED*
Alright, well I guess 2nd time's a charm.
Incest: This time with the power of
FRIENDSHIP!
Random Loser: I'm actually just a
pointless character
(Darude Sandstorm)
Kirito: Alright, I'm through!
Now to get you out!
Asuna: How do you plan to get us out?
Kirito: By ripping off Berserk.
*Kirito about to pre*
GRIFFITHHHHHHH-
Oh you're here again.
Wait, how are you even here?!
Ghost Kayaba: Pffft
I dunno.
Kirito: Seems legit
HAX MODE ON
What?
Wat?
How?
Kayaba
KAYABA!
FINAL BATTLE
*tink*
*dink*
*cough*
So this is it.
I've saved my girl,
defeated the bad guy,
and escaped the game after living 2 years of a torturous life in it.
I guess there's only one more thing to do... (live a normal life?)
PLAY
SWORD ART ONLINE AGAIN!
Some Guy: Yeah!
*Harem Laugh*
THE END