Hey there, I'm Rebecca Zung,
By the end of this video,
I'm going to give you 5 tricks narcissists use
to make you look like you're the one who is the problem and
especially during cases and I see this all the time,
I am an attorney, I'm also a narcissist negotiation expert and
I've written several best selling books and
I've litigated lots and lots of cases and
I've helped many, many people
go from lifes of drama, trauma, and chaos
to step into lives of freedom, possibility and purpose and
I want to help you do the same thing.
So, make sure you subscribe to this channel and
hit that notification bell,
so that you can do the same thing.
I upload brand new videos every single day and
I want to help you break free as well.
They do a lot of things and
they're very sneaky about how they make you look like
you're the one who is the problem and
I want to help you figure this out and
you want to make sure you watch all the way to the end,
because I'm going to save the best one till the end,
so that you can make sure that
you know what they do before they do it.
You're going to be onto them by watching this video.
They trigger you, they goad you,
they trigger you in a number of different ways,
they do it in person, of course.
I mean, I've seen clients where their soon-to-be ex,
they show up, with video equipment,
they do all this ridiculous stuff,
to try to goad, to try to trigger you,
they want to get under your skin,
they purposely do things, they purposely try to trigger you,
so they try to get a reaction out of you and
then they use that reaction against you,
they go, “Oh, look, look, look, that's the one who's crazy” and
they use that reaction against you and
remember, in a divorce, or a breakup,
even if it's a business situation,
because I had to deal with a narcissist in a business situation,
they use that against you.
It's like getting arrested,
anything you do or say will be used against you and
I'm going to tell you right now,
anything you put your hand to, is a potential trial exhibit.
Anything you write, anything you post,
is a potential trial exhibit.
So, before you hit send, before you hit post,
just imagine the judge is like watching over your shoulder,
like looking at you and
if you don't want to see it again at a very inopportune time,
like on cross- examination,
then don't hit send, don’t hit post,
because you will and
I've had to be in that situation where I've had to defend clients and
you don't want to be in that situation,
you don't want to get caught and
you don't want your lawyer, or if you're representing yourself,
to be trying to spin that.
So, don't allow them to trigger you,
don't allow them to put yourself in that position.
Just go Grey Rock, you know what a grey rock is?
You're like a grey rock, you’re just like a boulder,
you just sit there and you're just like,
“Okay, got it, I see you”, just observe their behavior.
I have a whole lot more on that
on my video called “Narcissism 101”,
what it means to go Grey Rock and
you can definitely check that out,
if you want to know more about that and
I highly recommend that you do,
because that will definitely help you.
So number one, they try to trigger you and
then, they use your reaction against you.
They do this either to your face, or in pleadings,
or in letters, or in emails, they write it to you and
then, they use that as an exhibit,
or they put it right in our family wizard, or whatever,
or they say it to their flying monkeys and
they do this even sometimes long before the discard phase,
or they accuse you of being some kind of alcoholic,
or some kind of drug addict, or whatever and
they do this even long before the discard phase,
like, they'll start planting these seeds and
they put it in terms of care and concern,
they'll say, “Oh, I'm just so concerned about her,
she had a little too much to drink last night and
I'm just so worried, I'm so worried about her”.
They'll say that, even long before you start to break up sometimes and
then, when you do end up breaking up,
they can say, “Oh, so and so has a drinking problem,
I told you about that,
remember I mentioned that to you a long time ago?,
You see what I'm saying?”
That's what happens.
And you just need to shut that down right away and
I have a video “How to shut down the narcissist smear campaign”,
which you can check out as well and
you just shut them down.
It's time to shut them down and you can definitely do that.
Shut them down.
That whole projection and deflection thing,
lying and denying, projection and deflection,
they're good at making you feel everything’s your fault all the time,
they constantly are twisting things and
making you feel like you're always wrong,
you're the problem and
so, you feel like you're inadequate all the time.
If you had just done more,
that things could have been better and
they do this to other people as well.
So, they paint this picture that you were the problem,
that if you just had made more money,
if you just had done this or if you just had done that.
So, you just constantly feel like everything is your fault,
that's why you are where you are in life,
because everything is your fault.
So, they might actually file like a false domestic violence injunction,
they might actually put things in a divorce petition that are actually false,
I've seen that all the time,
or they might actually write a letter to the other attorney
that is actually false,
or they might actually file a false financial document,
or they might actually file a false motion, or something like that,
where they actually put things in affidavits
that are just blatantly false and
then you have to sit there, defend yourself and
say “This is not true or that's not true”.
They'll say that you spent all kinds of money that's not true and
make it look like you are this person
who is really, really careless with money,
or they might just say you are really irresponsible with your children,
that you didn't feed them at all for the entire weekend,
or you only fed them junk food for the entire weekend,
or something like that.
So, those are the kinds of things that they'll do
to make it look like you are the problem.
I've seen them actually hack into people's computers and
delete emails out of people's computers,
but the other ones might actually present evidence in court,
where they take several chunks of text messages out,
that's why I tell people use email,
use court approved apps, things like that.
It's a lot harder to manipulate emails,
it's a lot harder to manipulate court approved apps,
meaning, like, if you have children using apps like our family wizard,
or talking parents or co-parent or something like that.
They're much harder to manipulate,
text messages are much easier to manipulate.
So, they literally will manipulate evidence,
I've seen it happen, depending on how malignant the narcissist is,
they will do that,
they will maybe even try to tamper with witnesses,
try to get people to change their testimony,
try to get people to lie,
I've seen mom's get up on the stand and lie for their kids,
but sometimes, if they're older,
they have like their specific lines they are supposed to say and
then, once they get on cross-examination,
they get off track and they get off script and
they're not exactly sure what they're supposed to say beyond that,
which is kind of an interesting thing to see sometimes,
but they will lie, they will manipulate evidence.
So, those are the kinds of things,
those are the kinds of tricks that you see narcissists pull
to make you look like you are the one who is the problem.
If you guys have seen anything like that,
let me know and put what you've seen in the comments below.
If you need any additional help,
make sure to grab my free “Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet,
at winmynegotiation.com
Make sure to join my free private Facebook group,
“Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”.
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as always, remember that,
today is a great day to start negotiating your best life.
Never give in, never give up.
They only win if you allow them,
because they are way more afraid of you than you are of them.
Always remember that, you can definitely win this.
So, don't give in and don't give up.
I will definitely see you guys in the next video.