Some of it's been spectacular, some of it's been meh, and some of it's been… well, pretty
awful.
Still, we can't help but love each and every iteration of our friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
That said, we're breaking down every one of Spidey's flicks ranked worst to best, of course.
"What the F..."
Let's just get this out of the way: Spider-Man 3 features one of the silliest plot points
in a franchise full of them, and that's the way the Venom symbiote attaches itself to
Parker.
In case you've forgotten — lucky you — it falls out of space and just up and crawls
to his scooter.
Obviously, the comic book version wouldn't be a viable option, since it would involve
a massive superhero crossover.
But considering Harry Osborn had just taken over his father's science-based corporation,
it seems like there were plenty of more believable ways to introduce the insidious oil slick.
"Harry, I need to talk to you — explain things."
"Tell it to my father.
Raise him from the dead."
While the overcrowding of villains — including Sandman, Venom, and the lazily named New Goblin
— was a chief complaint, perhaps the worst crime Spider-Man 3 committed was retconning
the death of Peter's uncle.
Toward the end of the film we learn it was actually Flint Marko — and not that rando
Parker let run past him in Spider-Man — who murdered Ben Parker.
One of the things that makes Spider-Man stand apart from other heroes is that he actually
is partially to blame for the traumatic death he tortures himself over.
Pulling out the rug from under that makes him a very different dude.
Like Spider-Man 3, director Marc Webb's second Amazing Spider-Man entry had too many bad
guys.
There was Electro, Green Goblin, and the Rhino… kind of?
He encounters Spider-Man earlier in the film as a gunman, but doesn't show up as the Rhino
literally until the last few minutes.
Rather than the Hulk-sized baddie from the comics, he's just a dude in a big mech suit,
and the movie ends abruptly during his battle with Spider-Man.
It's a pretty anticlimactic moment, to say the least.
Arguably, it was for the best.
If Amazing Spider-Man 2 hadn't been a failure, Sony probably wouldn't have been as receptive
to the idea of partnering with Marvel Studios and letting ol' webhead come home and finally
join the MCU.
You couldn't say Andrew Garfield's first shot as Spidey received universal praise, but it
was certainly better received than its sequel.
Amazing Spider-Man showed up five years after Tobey Maguire hung up the tights, and while
it was…
OK, it never quite managed to escape the strangeness of a franchise rebooted while its predecessor
was still relatively fresh in the culture's collective mind.
Amazing Spider-Man had to walk a tightrope of being different enough from the Tobey Maguire
films that it distinguished itself, but not so different that it became unrecognizable.
You can argue back and forth about whether Garfield or Maguire was better as ol' webhead,
but there was at least one way in which Garfield's portrayal simply was superior, and there's
no argument — he was funny.
"I'm gonna throw you out the window now."
"What?"
Now, director Sam Raimi's Spider-Man films had lots of humor, but Maguire's Peter Parker
was never funny himself.
At least not intentionally.
One of Spidey's defining characteristics is his wisecracking in the face of danger.
That was something Garfield delivered on, and it went a long way toward making Amazing
Spider-Man feel much more like an echo of the comics.
With the glut of superhero movies that we see today, it's easy to forget how important
the first Spider-Man was to everything that followed.
X-Men had been released two years before, and Blade two years before that.
But Blade was a grittier, more violent superhero and the X-Men had a cool rebel vibe unique
to the franchise.
And of course they were all dressed in black leather.
Spider-Man was the first 21st century superhero movie success to feature a more traditional
crime-fighting hero in bright red and blue.
Peter Parker's coming-of-age story proved that the less edgy superheroes like Iron Man,
Thor, and Captain America could thrive on the big screen under the right direction.
It was by no means perfect, but it created a framework for every Spider-Man movie that
followed.
Even its mistakes served to improve all the superhero movies that came after.
Perhaps the biggest fault of Spider-Man is that the filmmakers went out of their way
to cast the brilliant Willem Dafoe and then stuck him in a green plastic helmet that made
him look like a Power Rangers villain.
Every time you notice how dynamic Ryan Reynolds' mask is in Deadpool or its sequel?
Those are lessons learned from Spider-Man.
Don't doubt it for a second.
Tom Holland is Spider-Man.
With a snarky confidence in his heroic abilities contrasted with his awkward insecurities and
his desperate need to please Tony Stark he's got a certain indefinable quality that neither
of his fellow Peter Parker actors could truly pin down.
"So, uhh, how long you been here?"
"Long enough to be awkward.
Boss wants to see you."
"Is he here too?"
"In the toilet?
No.
He's upstate."
By dialing back Parker's age, we get a much better look at what it's like for Peter to
be a superhero and a teenager.
And unlike the Maguire Parker, who was almost completely friendless, Holland has his own
small circle of outcasts — but the fact that he has friends highlights exactly how
alone he is when he puts on the suit.
The same can be said of Iron Man's involvement in the story.
Knowing that Tom Holland's Spidey exists in the same world as Thor and Captain America
makes it feel that much more precarious for the young hero when he's the only one trying
to take down Michael Keaton's brilliantly acted Vulture, even though it's all of those
other heroes' stuff the guy's trying to steal.
Before Tom Hiddleston won audience's hearts as Loki, few movie supervillains were simultaneously
as ruthless, brutal, and yet somehow sympathetic as Alfred Molina playing Otto Octavius, a.k.a
Doctor Octopus.
Visually, he managed to be both more human than Willem Dafoe's Green Goblin and more
menacing.
While it may look a little choppy compared to today's effects, in 2004 the extended battle
between Doc Ock and Spidey on a moving train was intense and amazing.
As a middle chapter, Spider-Man 2 hit all the right notes.
The conflict between the life Peter wants and the one his life as a hero demands, the
revelations Harry Osborn comes to about his best friend and his father, and the setup
for the next chapter were executed perfectly.
Spider-Man
2 felt like a movie made just to show everyone else exactly what a superhero movie could
be.
There may be a better Spider-Man movie than Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse.
But if so, it was released in another universe.
There are a lot of differences between Into the Spider-Verse and the 2014 comic book event
it was loosely based upon.
One thing it had in common was the cast of parallel reality Spider-heroes, and another
was the delight it took in the medium of comics and its long history.
"Kingpin knows we're coming.
We're going to be outnumbered."
"Don't be so sure.
You might need these."
there was a cartoon pig Spider-Ham, the anime/manga inspired SP//dr , Spider-Gwen, and of course
Nicolas Cage's Spider-Man Noir.
"Wherever I go, the wind follows, and the wind smells like rain…"
Unburdened from live action and from the continuity restraints of the Marvel Cinematic Universe,
Into the Spider-Verse is action-packed, hilarious, and kid-friendly while still complex and emotionally
charged enough for adults to enjoy.
It introduced diversity to a franchise without seeming like it was really trying to do that
— it feels as natural as Spidey swinging from one building to the next.
"I love you, Miles."
"Yeah, I know, Dad."
"You gotta say 'I love you back.'"
"Dad, are you serious?"
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