- [Zach] Dungeons & Dragons, what is it?
- [James] I want to welcome you to the land of Snowdonia.
- D&D. - Fire, fire,
ignite within me, just as I am forever sad.
- Dungeons & Dragons.
(Ned yelling) That game the kids
on "Stranger Things" play.
- [Zach] Today, we are creating characters,
and we are going to play Dungeons & Dragons
for the very first time.
- Are you ready to be a hero, Zachary?
- Oh my God. - Yeah.
- Wow, I've been waiting for that question all my life.
(upbeat music)
(whimsical orchestral music)
Today, we are playing Dungeons & Dragons
for the very first time, and to help us,
to be our Dungeon Master, our Dungeon Daddy,
we're joined by James D'Amato of "The One Shot" podcast.
- James and I actually are old friends.
We met in Chicago improv classes.
- That's true. - And I kinda feel
like D&D is a little bit like improv.
- D&D is exactly the same as improv.
- [Ned] Wow.
- During each round, different players will take their turns
telling us what their character does in a moment of crisis.
What do you do to intervene?
- I think I'm gonna sing a song.
- I played a few session in high school,
mostly, we created characters.
- You know, I'm not really a board game guy.
I've done zero role playing outside of the bedroom.
- [Group] Hey!
- Yes, I can't wait to get hard from this game.
- Oh. - Boner alert.
- Yeah. (dramatic music)
Welcome to the magical land of Snowdonia,
a frigid place full of mysterious magic, wild weather,
and dangerous forests.
- It sounds sexy. - It sounds like Seattle.
- You guys are the heroes.
So imagine, this is a TV show that's improvised
where I am the director, producer, and casting crew
all rolled into one.
Darkness has fallen upon the Snowdonian forest.
Screams echo from somewhere deep within,
while a cold rain begins to fall.
(thunder booming) - We appear through
groves upon groves of trees into a small clearing
where a fire has been lit, and then,
moving across the fire,
lit up in this brilliant red, we see Ned.
- So how does one go about creating a character?
- So there are a couple of decisions
that we need to make up top.
They are your race and your class.
- Asian. (James sighing)
Cool? - Ashkenazi Jewish.
- That other white guy.
- So this is gonna more like elves and dwarves and whatnot,
but there are a couple races that are unique
to D&D, like dragonborn and tiefling.
- Tiefling? - Tiefling.
They're like devil people. (Keith laughing)
Every character in Dungeons & Dragons has six core stats.
You're gonna be good at some things and not so good
at other things.
- Yeah, I mean, I was thinking like,
you know, like a badass warrior, but more crazy.
- Okay, okay, so what you're saying to me--
- Like not noble at all.
- Please describe him.
- [Ned] I am Edgar the Destroyer.
(group laughing)
6'10 soaking wet, I am a human barbarian.
I take no prisoners, and I always skip leg day.
I love my wife, I love my baby,
but I was thinking like, maybe in this universe,
they've been kidnapped, and that's my one mission in life
is I have to get them back!
- We see an incredibly muscular,
beefy man with skinny chicken legs.
He's holding his ax in defense
against this looming skeleton.
You are grappling with this thing.
You're very, very strong, but you're incredible top-heavy,
and you just catch, balance in the wrong way,
and fall down, so the creature begins to try
and smash its mace down on you.
As it's doing that, one of your friends comes to your aid.
Zach, who is your character?
- I think people would expect me
to be one of the little ones.
But this is my imagination realm, and I'm gonna be
whoever the hell I wanna be.
- You could be a bard. - What?
- [James] Bards combine music and fighting powers,
and they actually inspire everyone around them.
- I can inspire people with my song?
- Oh yeah. - I can sing to my friends
all day? - Yes, you can.
- Oh, we're doing that for sure.
- Zachary is a bard!
- Hello, friends.
Hi, I'm Hotankles, the irresistibly charming,
sexy little demon bad boy tiefling bard.
When I'm not busy charming the pants off of all those
here in Snowdonia, I'm singing songs,
and spreading joy and merriment
and making people fall in love with
♪ My sonorous voice ♪
- We hear a zap in the background,
and we cut over to Eugene.
- I think what my main inspiration,
is I just wanna be Cate Blanchett as Galadriel
but when she turns evil for that hot second.
- Yes.
- Or Cate Blanchett in "Carol,"
where she has the amazing power
of romantic lesbian influence.
- There are no fantasy adventure movies
about middle-aged divorcees.
Why not?
- (sighing) What Draconian nightmare is this
that I stumble upon the company of two members
of a sub-par male species?
(group laughing)
Did I leave the grasp of my Druid husband who only thought
he could make love as a bear?
No, it was me, the beast all along who left,
into the arms of a female strident,
a ranger who took me into her womanly boughs
and made me see the light of art and discovery.
Here I am, trying to find myself.
Yes, I'm Carol. (group laughing)
I feel like maybe by joining this tiny,
little ankled man-- - I am a normal sized man.
(group laughing)
I defined my character traits.
This is fantasy. - With that,
I think we hear a rumbling through some trees in a clearing
and Keith, your character is going to be face to face
with a enormous skeletal beast.
Why do you adventure?
- My parents, you know, didn't really believe
in my pursuits. (laughing) - (laughing) Uh-huh.
- I wanted to be an artist, and they said,
"You'll never succeed," they kicked me out of the house.
- Please introduce us to your character.
I'm Joshua, I'm halfway through a painting,
I'm sorta trying to capture what's going on here
with the battle, Edgar's top-heavy torso,
the beautiful Carol, the tiny, tiny Hotankles.
- I'm normal height-- - Only in comparison
to all of us.
I'm still often being flooded with memories
of my previous relationship which, obviously,
ended in a way that I didn't like,
but I'm ever on my quest to gather all the paints I can get.
- [James] Pigments are rare and hard to find.
- Yeah, I'm definitely trying to build my palette.
Once my ultimate palette is complete, I can rest.
- I think we cut to a very quick shot of all of you running
out of the forest together.
(all humming an adventurous tune)
D&D has three major types of gameplay:
role play, ability checks, and combat.
As you exit this forest, you see a small, hunched creature
holding a sign.
While the guys are the stars,
and are gonna be driving the action,
I play the rest of the world, reacting to them.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, brave warriors.
But would any of you be Hotankles?
- Hello, I am Hotankles, and these are my new friends.
- My name is Kilometers, and I have been dispatched
by your friend Keith.
To help you in this new town, he booked you
for a night of singing and heroism.
We don't get a lot of acts coming through.
Most of them die on the road,
so I am extremely excited to see you.
- Here's the thing.
I've been traveling around as a solo act,
but it hasn't quite saved the world yet,
hasn't, it's moved people, sure, but I don't know,
what do you say, gang?
- I'm really just an artist,
but I could make some dope banners for your show.
- I'm searching for my family,
therefore, I will help you. (group laughing)
- You remind me of the daughter I left behind,
and I would love to see you prove yourself.
- Snowdonian Idol.
- I've prepared a few things for my story,
but if I know the guys, they're gonna go off book,
and I can't wait to see what they do.
I can't tell you how great this is.
I'm so excited to welcome you into our community
that has been plagued by a terrible, crimson mist.
It rolls in through town, and it causes all kinds
of chaos, summoning large, terrible monsters,
and really, just wracking our community.
- Carol hasn't had a crimson mist since her mid-40s.
- That was inappropriate. - Pretty inappropriate--
- That was inappropriate.
- In this non-denominated time.
- We don't know commoners that well.
- All right. - What are you trying to say?
- It liberated her, she feels great.
- Nah.
Liberation is all a bit relative, darling.
- Maybe we'd all feel a little bit better
after a nice dinner.
- Hard cut to. (bright medieval music)
And so our heroes sat down to a lovely meal together.
After laughing and chatting, they suddenly hear
a commotion going on outside in the town square.
When players and their characters confront challenges
in the game, they'll have to overcome them
using ability checks.
- Carol. - Yes?
- You have been tasked by your group to go outside
and see what's going on unnoticed.
So when you do something in D&D, first,
you have to see if you succeed or fail.
And to do that, almost always, you roll a 20-sided die.
For that, I'm going to ask for a stealth skill roll.
If you roll high enough, you'll succeed.
If you fail, well, there are monsters out there.
(dramatic music)
20! - Wow!
- That's incredible, his first roll is a Natural 20?
- [James] We cut to you in the shadows
in this gothic little town.
You can see people carrying torches and chanting.
"We've found another one!
"We're gonna burn them, and chase away
"this crimson ruby mist, as quickly as possible,"
and there are cheers from the rest of the crowd.
- Hm, well, we must save this person.
I'm going to return back to my new comrades, I guess.
Hotankles, Hotankles. - It's you, Carol.
- They've got a poor soul out there,
chained up to manacles.
- [Edgar] How many of them are there?
- Upwards of 55. - Doesn't matter.
I will do it.
- Edgar, I would like you to burst out and roll
an intimidation check. (Ned yelling)
(dice clattering) (dramatic music)
Three. (group laughing)
- I think that is bad enough as a check,
you're not the smartest in this group.
I think you go out, people are chanting,
you're yelling, and you just get swept up in the crowd.
(group laughing)
You go, "Yah," and the people in the crowd go,
"Yah," and you're like, oh yeah, this is great.
- [Ned] Not what I meant.
- Okay, well, Edgar didn't do the best.
Who's got another idea?
- I think I can use a spell to confuse the group.
First, I'm gonna go by and I'm gonna tap each of them
on the shoulder, make 'em go, huh?
Then, I'm gonna start tickling the ringleader,
and he's gonna go crazy.
All right, here we go.
- Oofah, doofah.
So there's this beautiful green color,
this light green hand that you summon up into the air.
It's moving along the ground like the Thing
from Addams Family, and somebody goes,
"Hey, wait a minute.
"That one over there's made a green, magical hand appear.
"It's another witch.
"Get him!"
♪ No, oh, oh ♪
- [James] And I think Edgar is going to run over,
grab Hotankles, and lift him in the air,
I got another witch! - Wow.
You must be so strong, because I'm a normally sized
human being, and so, for you to be able to carry me
is incredible. - I am so strong.
Yes, thank you.
- Well, okay, so if we assess the situation,
aggression didn't work, trickery didn't work,
maybe we should just try to talk to them?
- [James] So this sounds like a persuasion roll to me.
- Yeah. (dice clattering)
A three, so I don't know.
(group laughing)
I don't know, okay, so we gotta--
(group laughing) Guys, we have to get along.
You can't be so stupid and spend all your time
fighting each other.
Are you even listening to me?
What's wrong with all of you?
Sit down, pay attention, and let's stop being the mob.
- Well, he's not a witch,
but it is a very condescending dragon.
Can we just maybe add him to the fire too?
And everything kind of murmurs in agreement,
and they go to grab you, and suddenly,
you are next to Hotankles, the poor soul
who was being tried earlier, and your friend Edgar is there.
- I feel like I need to go divert their anger
towards someone else.
- All right, roll your deception.
- Come on, Carol. - Oh, come on, Carol.
- 16 is the base roll.
What's your-- - Stealth is +8.
- Yeah, so that's 24, which is really good.
You are going to tell a very convincing lie
that is going to get you close to the ringleader
of this group of people.
- Well, I first let him look at me from behind,
catch his attention, and when he's hypnotized
by my form, I catch him, and I get him right in the gut.
- So you stab him? - Oh, yes,
I stab him, I just, I full on stab him.
- All right, so then, I think I'm gonna need y'all
to roll for initiative, as we enter a formal combat.
- Oh, shit. (dramatic music)
- In combat, we break down the action of play
moment to moment.
Everything takes place in rounds,
which are small increments of time that we've zoomed in on
so that we can really get a sense of what the action is.
Once you've rolled your 20 sided die to determine
whether or not you hit, you'll roll damage dice,
which can be of different die sizes
to determine how effective your hit was.
(dice clattering)
- Double sevens. - You run this person through
and kill them immediately. - Yeah, Carol!
- Carol. - What do you say
to him before he dies?
- What don't I say, Dungeon Master?
But only two words.
Gay rights. (group laughing)
- The majority of the crowd recoils in horror,
but a few, their eyes glow an emerald green
and they lean in. - Oh no.
- To attack.
Clearly, the mayor was part of some plot.
You can attack with a weapon, cast a spell,
or use one of your other abilities,
but you can always fall back on your creativity.
Unlike a video game, the options that you have
aren't pre-prescribed.
You can come up with whatever you want.
- I am going to run into the center of the demons,
and I'm gonna cast Burning Hands.
- Spell casters have a list of hundreds
of potential different spells,
but they have to choose wisely what they bring with them.
(dice clattering)
- [Keith] Three, one, five.
I put my hands together, and say,
"Fire, fire, ignite within me, just as I am forever sad."
(fire booming)
And-- (group laughing)
- A jet of flames shoots forth,
engulfs one of these creatures entirely in fire.
The other two, I think, are going to turn on Hotankles,
who is currently-- - Up onto Edgar.
- [James] Up on Edgar's shoulder right now.
Our heroes fight valiantly, using the powers
of friendship they learned along the way, until,
Hotankles, there is one boy left.
One of your cantrips, Vicious Mockery.
- Yeah. - It's literally,
you insult someone so hard, they take damage.
That's probably gonna be better than most of your weapons.
I'm just using boys as a general term--
- No, now I'm-- - No, it's a child.
He's no more than eight years old,
and I'm gonna kill him. (group laughing)
- [James] A simulacrum of an eight year old.
- Yes. - I'm gonna use
Vicious Mockery, and I am just gonna insult
the shit out of this demon child.
- All right.
Please tell me what insult you are saying to this person.
- You are a stupid child.
I bet you can't even read books past the 4th grade level.
Yeah, you're smaller than me, and that's saying something.
You can't eat candy unless your mom gives you permission.
You have to lie to log into YouTube,
because you're under 13. (James laughing)
- All right, roll this one, the D4.
(dice clattering) (dramatic music)
Four! - Yeah!
- You insult him-- (all cheering)
until he's dead! (all cheering)
- Yes. - No, no,
you can see, with each insult, it's melting deeper
and deeper into the ground.
Edgar, it's your turn.
You are going to roll a D12.
(dice clattering) (dramatic music)
- 11! - Okay.
- Plus 4, plus 2. - Yeah, that is 17 damage.
You annihilate this kid. (Ned yelling)
You take out all three of these.
(all yelling)
- Yeah! - Dun, dun, dun.
I take it like a baseball bat, and I go from low to high,
kuh, kuh, kuh.
In one fell swoop, the first guy gets sliced completely
like a diagonal windowpane.
The second guy gets his chin chopped off up into his brain.
- No!
- And the third guy just gets hit,
completely bludgeoned in the side of the head
and falls dead on impact.
Immediate concussion.
- Suddenly, everybody in town is like.
(clapping slowly) (Ned laughing)
- Listen, townsfolk.
We come in peace, we are here to help.
- The person who was manacled before turns to Carol,
and they just say, "Thank you so much for saving me.
"I can't tell you what it means.
"No one would listen to me."
The witch that our heroes had rescued closed her eyes
and waved her hands.
The crimson mist that had plagued the town
evaporated in an instant.
Our heroes and the witch had saved the day for now.
(hopeful music)
- This was so much fun.
Everything seemed like it was moving on the fly,
and we were storytelling the five of us in the moment.
- Props to you for being such an amazing DM.
You were just brilliant at really weaving things together
as a storyteller, so I think it should just be something
everybody who is a storyteller should do.
- I mean, who would've thought
that a Cate Blanchett-based character
could exist in this universe, but it worked really well.
And certainly, a really fun way to express yourself,
especially with a group of friends.
- Go get your friends, play Dungeons & Dragons with them.
You best believe that Hotankles is gonna dance again.
(upbeat music)
- I think next time we have the option to cosplay something,
we might as well bring these characters to life.
- Yeah. - Oh my gosh.
- I think you're right. - That's true.