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some receipt for this baby save me from
this dog don't worry I know how to do a
special karate chap that makes dogs
explode thank you my name is Terry hits
Wow people call him lord of the tutorial
he's been traveling he's a big big deal
he's got a lot of fans
Terry Finch joined me out of everyone
playing this right now what kind of
information got from me Terry you can
save the game Wow incredible thank you
say caution be wearing tears good luck
stupid you're gonna challenge me with my
mint every incentive so how we do it
where we come from zero damage and he is
completely worthless
turns out chances not as valuable as I
once thought what the [ __ ] oh he's dead
oh my god they did oh my god you know
that guy's hey brick come here so I can
kick your ass
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oh look at this Perry leveled up now we
can do two damage unless you hear me I'm
big these guys [ __ ] suck it's only
like ten minutes into the game and
they're all dead already
now a guy like me I don't never die in a
video no it can't be
mr. it's the bad guy of the game howdy
[ __ ]
i'ma give you a choice you can tear his
life or all your stuff
make your move or that's easy yeah just
take Terry that's a no-brainer right
there every chance has been taken
what did I even have in my inventory
beef jerky and a diet coke yeah I made
the right move I think turn back
get [ __ ] I don't listen you should
definitely turn back when you get to
that part of the game what is this a
store for wizards hello a wizard I would
like to but I should have never came in
here Riddick what you doing out here man
hello there my name is I'm considered
the greatest historian I've gathered a
wealth of knowledge many tales would you
like to hear no [ __ ] no great get comfy
my boy I have many a tale to tell but
see how right it all started with what I
call the flesh I was sitting with my
wife god bless us all and I believe she
made me some homemade sweet tea or wait
did she buy it from the store
oh well hold on that would be ridiculous
to buy it from the store and then
transferred it to come when I drink it
from the bottle
I guess so she could look I suppose but
then again I'm making homemade tea
that's sneaky [ __ ] anyway I'll save
that story for later so I'm sitting on a
porch drinking lemon tea from mice glass
of course when suddenly a great
strangeness fills [ __ ] kill me killed
me [ __ ] missus can make this die this
is enough what are they so I'm sitting
there sucking on a [ __ ] horse's dick
sucking down [ __ ] lemonade and and I'm
thinking to myself you know what why
isn't my wife a horse right why isn't my
wife a horse is my bank
workout that said not enough now my
neighbor Tom [ __ ] night he was very soon
his wife Kara [ __ ] ripped one of those
women anyway my horse climbs into bed
got buses so she turns on her horse she
invites to read a [ __ ] horse romance
novel meanwhile I'm gonna get sitting in
the [ __ ] rocket test stupid now
lemonade you know me
at this point I get a giant erection
about a horse
then her light was on then I fell asleep
then I woke up a big flash of light then
desolate
I think it's over no I can tell by the
way you're walking away that you don't
want to leave if you really want to hear
another store once upon a time all bad
it's just empty plates it was 20 minutes
Sheila she is coming fix fix not gonna
rhinos ass it's over I think that's
actually over now please some jokes are
they just they go on to more you [ __ ]
be well hello again my wife comes in
Earth has joined your party how do i
suicide my guy is that a feature do you
see that what is that oh it's a guy
stick hey wake up what did I do wrong I
see you over there you [ __ ] idiot I
see you he is he has two eye patches
juices pirate piece of [ __ ] didn't see
that coming he thought he could face me
little did he know video game donkey
never dies [ __ ] dingaling right now
this game is sampling the demons from
Shenmue 2 I'm duelin
this is the most annoying [ __ ] game
ever created by man and Lisa doesn't
have fall damage cabbage I'll take you
to garbage on oh my God look at all that
God very important above I know there
isn't I know there is nothing important
up here and this is just gonna yep it's
gonna be one of these I'm gonna climb up
this for the next 30 minutes
it's gonna be one of these and then and
then I'm gonna get up there and there's
gonna be [ __ ] nothing
it's gonna be like a it's gotta be hey
what do you know hey it's the only cliff
in the game that you can't jump off of
you have to climb all the way back now
Thank You doc so at least I can always
count on you snowman
you would never oh my god telling all my
god features a life ruining experience
don't play with matches take care of
them because no one else will wait Oh
Tommy now look what you did it's okay
we'll put them in could you hand me that
bucket of water
kids I'll go get them you know they used
to call me when I was an okay kid damn
beer this is the second most tragic
thing to happen in my life
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