Hi, and welcome to "Vet Resources Check-in."
Thanks for joining me.
For the next 15 minutes or so, I hope that we connect,
engage and inspire each other.
I'm Dr. Colleen Richardson,
the executive director of the Caregiver Support Program.
I'm also a United States Navy veteran
and the wife of a United States Marine Corps Veteran.
As a veteran, many of my thoughts lately
have been consumed
by the US withdrawal from Afghanistan.
I can't help but think of those of you
that have been impacted as a result of this withdrawal
and those of you I've served alongside
and those of you who continue to serve.
I'm not sure how we're all doing
and wanted to just take an opportunity today
to reach out to all of you and ask you a question --
How are you?
How are things going, and how are you doing?
Generally in our busy lives, many of us are programmed
to respond to those questions with a quick,
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm doing great. How are you?"
But most of us just don't step back
and take that opportunity or take the time
to really think about that question and respond
with an honest answer.
So again, I ask everybody listening today --
How are you?
How are you really doing?
What we hear and see within the Caregiver Support Program
is often the needs of our caregivers way
too often go unnoticed, unnoticed by others
and unnoticed by our caregivers themselves.
So in this question, how are you doing,
I encourage you, take a step back.
Take a step back and take the time right now
to reflect on how the current events in our world
are impacting you, you as a caregiver.
Take the time to notice how you're feeling.
Maybe even identify some red flags
that signal to you you need a break.
If not, take a moment right now, right now, and ask yourself,
"Am I okay? Am I tired? Am I struggling?"
Chances are your response might be yes,
and if it is, that's okay.
Let me say that one more time.
It's okay.
It is perfectly okay to not be okay.
It is actually completely and totally normal to not be okay.
Everybody at some point in their lives experiences
a moment or a series of moments in which they are not okay.
So it is okay to not be okay.
I want you to imagine with me for just a moment
a friend of yours begins to share their story
with you about their day-to-day responsibilities.
It's their story, and as a friend, you would listen, right?
They share with you that they're caring for their spouse
or they're caring for their mother,
or maybe it's their father,
and what they deal with and all the responsibilities
that they have each and every single day.
The responsibilities of daily decisions,
doctor's appointments.
Maybe they bathe their caregiver --
or the caregiver bathes their veteran
or their spouse or their loved one.
Maybe they help them get dressed every single morning
and undressed every single night.
Maybe they're also caring for their children,
and every day, unexpected problems that may pop up,
which we all are familiar with, right?
Flat tires, air conditioning going out, dirty house,
doctor's appointment for your children,
school functions, sports, athletic events,
all of those things.
You can all relate to this on some level, right?
What would you say to your friend who just told you that
that's what they deal with on a day-to-day basis?
Would you think for just a moment,
"Wow, that's a lot to manage. That's a lot of responsibility"?
If not, think about that for just a second.
Do you give yourself as much grace
and empathy that you have now just offered to your friend?
Do you offer that to yourself?
Think about that.
You would expect somebody else
who manages all of that to need a break,
but do you allow yourself the same?
In addition to all of those things that I just talked about,
many of our caregivers also experience periods of isolation.
The emotional stress of caregiving is common,
and people who experience caregiving stress
sometimes often start to isolate themselves.
Oftentimes because they don't have any energy left
to give to others,
or they don't want to share their story
or simply because they just can't.
It is not uncommon for caregivers to isolate
themselves from their friends, from their families,
even occasionally from the veteran they care for
simply because they just need a break.
The slightest feeling of being alone as a caregiver
can have significant impact on your overall well-being,
which sometimes as we know,
can lead to feelings of guilt or feelings of shame.
If you are experiencing these types of feelings,
let me say again that's normal.
Hear me when I say that.
That is normal.
I know sometimes it doesn't feel normal,
but oftentimes caregivers carry around
these undeserved feelings, these undeserved burdens
that they've kind of placed on themselves.
And that's not right or wrong, good or bad.
It just is.
Sometimes caregivers don't really believe
that they're doing a great job
or that they're not doing enough to care for their veteran
or that they could be doing more.
These feelings can often make caregiving more stressful
than what it already is,
and caregiving is stressful, extremely stressful.
Caregivers may also feel that these feelings
of just needing a break are wrong,
but they're not.
They're not good or bad, right or wrong.
They just are.
Often thinking, "Man, I must be selfish for wanting a break
when the person I care for is going through so much."
Again, not right or wrong, good or bad,
those feelings just are, and it's okay.
Without needed breaks -- And let me say that again.
You need a break.
Periods of respite, periods of rest,
periods of just time for yourself,
and I promise you, without these, eventually,
you may start feeling burned out, burned out.
And burnout looks different for everyone.
It may look similar to symptoms of depression.
You may experience problems eating, problems sleeping.
You may even start to find little or no joy
in the things that you used to normally find joy in.
You may also find yourself struggling with concentration.
You may also find yourself really tired
and having very little energy
to devote to other things in your life.
Can I say it again?
Do you know what I'm going to say by now?
That's normal.
It's very normal to have those feelings.
Caregiving stress can lead to burnout
if you don't care for yourself.
Everyday events can start to be daunting.
They can seem overwhelming when you're caring for another person
and forget to take care of yourself
because as caregivers, oftentimes, you're on call
24 hours a day, 7 days a week,
and even a superhero can't manage that.
It may be hard for you to juggle different parts of your life
and carry out simple tasks like errands, getting groceries,
cleaning the house and scheduling appointments.
Those things can all be challenging.
So let me ask you this --
How do caregivers overcome these stressors,
and what services and resources are available to help?
Let me tell you the Caregiver Support Program is here
to help you.
Let me say it again.
The Caregiver Support Program is here to help you
as a caregiver to support you in what you need to continue
doing the outstanding job that you've been doing.
We offer the Caregiver Support Line,
which is a toll-free number that caregivers, family members,
friends and veterans and community partners
can contact for information related to our available
supports and education and training groups.
Training and support are available in person.
They're available online
and through various telehealth sessions.
We offer skills-focused training
on caregiving for veterans with unique caregiving needs.
We can help train you in some of those areas.
We also offer some individual counseling.
Respite care, oh, my gosh, one of the most important things
I think any caregiver needs is a break,
so respite care is important.
We offer medically and age
appropriate short-term services to eligible veterans
and allow caregivers to take time for themselves
whether the veteran is cared for in a safe environment.
These benefits that I just talked about
are just some of the many things
that the Caregiver Support Program offers
and is available to you as a caregiver.
In turn, by taking advantage of some of these services
and supports that we offer,
you in turn will be able to turn around
and care for yourself better,
and also we want to remind you that you too are important.
If you are a caregiver
or if you know somebody that's a caregiver,
I encourage you to spread the word about these services
that the Caregiver Support Program offers.
Please reach out to your local Veterans'
Affairs medical center to learn more about the Caregiver
Support Program, or you can go online
to www.caregiver.va.gov.
Again, that's www.caregiver.va.gov.
I'm Dr. Colleen Richardson,
and it's been a pleasure connecting with you today.
I hope we will hear from you in the very near future.