(smooth jazz music)
(people chatting)
- Well, that's the last of it.
- Oh, thanks, Katie. - Thank you, Katie.
- You're the best. - That's great.
- Oh, Katie. I'm having people over to my house this weekend
and I would love it if you would come.
Please, please, please.
- Yeah, I don't have any plans for the weekend.
I'd love to.
- Great.
Oh, and, before you come let's hit a Costco.
I want to get one of those 40-pound hams.
- 40 pound. - Oh yeah, Costco.
- Costco, Costco. - Costco run.
- 40-Pound ham, 40-pound ham.
- Hey, do you guys actually like me?
- (group) What?
Yeah.
- Okay, I know this sounds crazy
but sometimes it feels like you just use me
for my Costo membership.
- What?
Katie, that is crazy.
We love hanging out with you and eating free samples.
- And going to town on some bulk hummus.
- Or eating cafeteria chicken bake.
- Everything you've just mentioned happens at a Costco.
God, is that the only reason we hang out?
- No. I'm sorry you feel that way, Costco,
or Katie?
Katie.
- Katie, yeah.
- Look, how 'bout after work we go to a park like old times?
- We've never done that.
- Oh hey, Grant, just hypothetically, theoretically,
which exact park was it that you were thinking of?
- Well, I was thinking the one by the strip mall.
- Oh.
- The strip mall with the Costco?
- Why yes it is.
- Wouldn't it be like dumb and ironic
if we went to the Costco after the park?
- Oh my God.
That is so dumb and ironic.
- No.
- Fine, if you don't want to go to the park,
we can go see a movie.
- Really?
You just want to hang out and see a movie?
- Yes, in fact I'd like to see eight movies.
They sell those bulk passes at Costco.
- Costco, how bout that? - Yeah, Costco.
- No, you can't just use me for bulk goods.
- Fine. If we can't go to Costco,
do you guys want to check out the Big Easy Bar?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes, that sounds like so much more fun,
and I've never been there.
- Oh no, I was talking to them.
The core five.
You understand.
- (group) Core Five!
- Core Five!
See, I can do it too, okay?
There's no reason that it just has to be,
just add a six.
- Besides Katie, how would you even get there?
Our cars only have five seats.
- I could drive myself.
- See, now you're dealing with logistics and it's ruined.
- Fucking God damn it.
- Katie, calm down.
Have something to drink.
Here's 60 beers.
- Or a ton of chocolate milk.
- Or a gallon of cold medicine.
- Or an entire wheel of brie.
- Or a school of shrimp.
- No.
No, no,
no!
I'm not your little Costco bitch, okay?
I'm as cool as all you motherfuckers
and I deserve an invite!
I'm fun as hell!
Okay?
- Katie, you're sweating.
Here.
(Katie screams)
- No, Katie, no!
No!
- [Man] She's crazy.
She's crazy.
Trip her up, trip her up.
- Katie, God damn it! - Trip her up, trip her up.
(heart monitor beeps)
- This is why we don't invite you places.
(melancholy music)
- Alright, let's go to Sam's Club.
- Oh man. - Sam's Club.
- [Woman] Hasn't Katie done this before?
- [Man] Yeah, I feel like she's died.
(Katie exhales)
(heart monitor beeping)
- Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from CollegeHumor.
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