Stealing a colleague’s birth control should get you fired from any normal workplace,
but it won’t at the "NCIS" office… and DiNozzo is just the start of the show’s problems.
Procedural crime dramas have a way of manipulating the reality-based aspects of their characters'
jobs. In order to fast track some of the scenes that would normally involve a lab filled with a
team of scientists, it sort of makes sense for a TV show to speed up the forensic process.
In the case of "NCIS," Abby and Ducky's jobs wouldn't exist in real life.
"Alright."
We don't mean that forensic analysts and medical examiners aren't actual jobs — obviously,
they are. However, a forensic analyst and medical examiner wouldn't work within an NCIS building;
they wouldn't have a direct line of communication to an NCIS agent, nor would there only be one of
each. A real-life NCIS field office would work with local state or county medical examiners
and labs for forensic evidence and each one would certainly have more than one person working there.
Gibbs' team also isn't the only group of field agents that operates in that branch of NCIS.
In that case, Abby and Ducky would have to keep up with Gibbs' cases and every other agent's cases.
If that were true for real-world counterparts, the overtime costs alone would be astronomical.
For the sake of television, it's pretty much a necessity to keep the show's pacing punchy
and exciting. Otherwise, each episode would be a victim of the red-taped,
glacial pace of real-time forensic sciences.
In the very first episode of "NCIS," titled "Yankee White," the death of
a Marine on Air Force One triggers a mess of jurisdictional complications.
The ultimate question of this episode is who claims jurisdiction over the death
of a Naval commander who dies on Air Force One? Do Gibbs and his team have
any right to fly away with the president's plane in order to hold such jurisdiction?
Ok — let's break this one down. The second the president walks off the plane,
the Secret Service loses jurisdiction, and it gets handed off to the FBI.
But in accordance with SECNAV Instruction, since NCIS has a horse in this race in the
form of a dead officer, "joint criminal investigations [...] conducted with the
FBI [...] designate NCIS as having exclusive responsibility." So, in the real world,
NCIS actually would have jurisdiction to take custody of the body. But does
that really give them the right to snatch the president's plane to ensure they keep custody?
And if they can't take the plane,
how is it that we never hear about anyone getting into trouble for that stunt?
When it comes to forensics, contaminations are one of the worst mess-ups that can
happen to an investigation. It's also the case that biohazardous materials,
which can possibly cause illness and contamination, are frequent fliers in
a medical examiner's field. Ducky, who is supposed to be the best at what he does,
ought to know how not to contaminate a forensic lab or spread unsanitary materials.
"Excuse me. Show a little respect, this is a place of peace and dignity."
In "Sub Rosa," Ducky potentially contaminates several areas with biohazardous materials. He
meets Abby in her lab after performing an autopsy. As he enters Abby's area,
we can see he is still in his surgical gown and there's blood smeared all over
the front. Blood is considered a biohazard material, and not only does bringing it out
of his lab and into Abby's increase the chances for an infection to break loose, but it could
potentially contaminate any other evidence that is present in Abby's workspace. Gross.
In other episodes, Ducky, among other investigators, commits potential crime
scene contamination through lack of proper personal protection equipment. The National
Institute of Justice explains that crime scene investigators must have items such as "gloves,
booties, hair covering, overalls, and mask," readily available for a crime scene sweep.
The team encounters their very first multi-episode "NCIS" villain near
the end of Season 1. By the "NCIS" Season 2 finale, he's still at large.
But we're more curious about why a standard criminal investigative team would seemingly
be the sole faction charged with taking down terrorist Ari Haswari. Gibbs and his agents
typically take on cases that involve far more standard crimes than counterterrorism. In fact,
real-life NCIS does include counterterrorism efforts, but that wouldn't include a team like
Gibbs'. The "NCIS" group would probably have to undergo a lot of extra training dedicated
to counterterrorism that would hardly ever come up in their day-to-day work. Even after all that,
where exactly is the time to get all their other case work done if they're going after terrorists?
The real-life counterterrorism portions of NCIS would take on a case like Ari's, and it would
probably take years of dedicated work and a lot of information sharing with other federal branches.
It's a safe story arc, especially for the era in which it was originally aired. In the years
following 9/11, counterterrorism and heavily inflated patriotism flooded the United States,
making this a TV plotline that went over well with American audiences.
"NCIS" spent some time in hot water when fans and critics started asking,
"Is NCIS sexist?" A lot of concerns over the show's depiction of women
came about because of Michael Weatherly's character, DiNozzo.
During the first few seasons, DiNozzo and Kate are constantly bickering about the differences between
men and women all while plopping women into two-dimensional stereotypical roles and behaviors.
"Tony, how long have you been in here?"
"Long enough to know you can't sing. And you haven't shaved your legs in a week."
In later seasons, there's a pretty big shift in DiNozzo and the overall tone of the show,
as audiences grew tired of watching the same prejudiced banter.
Fans noticed a shift in "NCIS" personalities around Season 9. But instead of it being
a step away from their initial portrayal in earlier seasons – which would probably
mean multiple personality rewrites — the shift was designed to allow the
show's women more depth, as opposed to the shallowness we'd previously seen.
Apparently, rules are loose guidelines when it comes to the "NCIS" workplace.
Even someone like DiNozzo should know when to pump
the breaks and start thinking with his head instead of… his other appendages.
DiNozzo has nearly no filter when it comes to talking to women, whether it be at work or when
he's off the clock. But since what he does in his own time is up to him, we're more concerned
when he's trying to pick up women while working cases. In "Forced Entry," he and Kate are sent
to question a suspect at a base hospital. When he approaches the desk to ask the Lieutenant on
duty about the suspect, he asks her out to a lunch date so he can go through some routine questions.
"This is my engagement ring, Agent DiNozzo. I brought my lunch."
Even after the rejection, DiNozzo continues to push by saying that engaged is not
technically married and implies she's on the fence about her wedding. We cringe.
Later, in "Mind Games," he takes a female colleague's birth control pills and holds
them in the air for her to retrieve like she's a child, all while saying that she couldn't
possibly need them unless she's seeing someone. Not a great look, DiNozzo. Not great at all.