We need to talk... now.
I'm just packing up a sculpture for Leap In.
Damn it! Argentina is manipulating everyone.
Manipulating? More like helping.
The other day, my accountant says, "I need tax write offs."
The next thing I knew Argentina says, I can donate
one of my sculptures to Leap In as a tax write off.
Are you don't think that's a little convenient?
It's like she's always one step ahead.
Calm down, Nancy Drew.
I'll have, you know, Nancy Drew had successful books,
a number of television spin offs
and could easily do the work of two Hardy Boys.
So, thank you for the compliment.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yeah. Why do we have so much red yard?
Have you ever seen an HBO drama, Harper?
This is how they catch people.
Lookie here, Nora.
Why were you at the coffee shop, huh, Nora?
They're always low on goat milk.
Yeah, it's 'cause I steal it for you.
Is that a passport photo of Muffin Man?
Why you putting him up there?
He brightens up the place.
Your stalker game, c'est magnifique.
- Wow. - Oh, I wish I could cry.
Why can't you?
No tear ducts.
I just don't wanna ruin my makeup.
[chuckles]
Oh, Carly, you saw the woman pee. Let it go.
Let this go? Okay.
[gasping]
Why did you throw this at me?
Uh... wedding tradition. [chuckles]
Magnets symbolize life long attraction.
Quick question though.
Why did it stick to your head?
Oh, uh, I don't wanna talk about it.
We're all friends. Give us the download.
Are these I love you flowers or I'm sorry flowers?
They're for you from a fan
which makes them please scrub our address from the internet
so I could feel safe in my own home flowers.
Happy birthday. Nope.
I like flowers.
Oh, should we make it toast?
Yes.
To Brooke... for getting her car back
so she could be here.
Aw, and to Freddie, for making such a sweet toast.
And to me for... getting the door.
[chuckles]
Hey, everyone, I'm back.
I know it's been a while, but you guys are in
for something really exciting.
- Carly? - Oh.
Hey.
Cool shape.
Yeah, it's an and symbol...
for Carly and Oh.
Doesn't it make you just want to stand
on either side of it and be all...?
S-Sure. Kinda.
Look at all these women... a-and you and that guy;
a camaraderie of sisterhood,
joining hands to say "We can fix it ourselves."
I'm gonna start taking notes now.
You know where class starts, Millicent?
- In here. - That's your clavicle.
I just can't wait to learn everything
there is to know about cars.
I truly am a Renaissance person.
But most importantly, I'm gonna get Vin Diesel
in tiptop shape.
MTV movie award winner for best tank top, Vin Diesel?
He's in perfect shape.
Oh, my car's name is Vin Diesel.
Yesterday this guy tried to charge me $15,000
- for repairs. - Ugh.
The worst. But you are gonna love
the instructor of this class.
He is so patient and smart.
And when he shows you had to do a tune up,
it's almost... tender.
As long as he's honest.
I just can't take another skeesy scammer
like that guy I met yesterday.
Skeesy scammer? Sounds like a jerk.
Yeah, he sure-- [screaming]
- You. - Hi.
It took me a minute to figure it out...
but Sand is shady. It's an MLM.
Nuh-uh.
What is that?
Multilevel marketing, it's a pyramid scheme.
Companies get you to buy inventory
of phony products
that you can't sell 'cause they don't work.
So, your only way out is to recruit more salespeople.
I learned all about it on my favorite podcast,
Scam Empress
That's not what's going on here.
Mm, they keep sellers interested with cheap prizes,
fancy titles and worthless fake currency.
Check, check and check, check.
You said MLM products are bogus, but Sand works.
I'm calm, Spencer's sensitive,
and Freddie's so brave he inadvisedly quit his job.
Now, if you'll just excuse me,
I have a Sand-sational sales event to prepare for.
I've got my head in the Sand and it's staying there.
Harper, what do you think?
I'm thinking... do you take Amex?
Exclusively.
Here is a membership form, and you can keep the pen.
Thank you.
Carly, how 'bout you?
No, that's cool. I'm good for pens.
If you don't join, you'll never see Harper again.
'Cause she'll be so busy here at Leap In.
Yeah, but I don't need a work space,
I can just use the studio where I shoot--
iCarly? Three million subscribers?
60% women in the coveted 18 to 49 demographic?
- How did you know that? - I know my metrics.
I'd love to be on your show.
I could do Thursday at 2:00 or you could come here
which would be better for me.
[chuckles]
Yeah, I'll definitely be voluntarily coming back here.
[chuckles]
Thank you, Snow Kwamie Sweets for hooking us up this weekend.
My friends and I are having so much fun all together
in the same place right now. [chuckles]
What now? Okay.
Yeah, I'm coming. [chuckles]
I guess it's my turn to dance on the bar.
Gotta go. [chuckles]
Another lonely lady?
I mean, I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.
Sure, I got ditched on my girl's trip
because I brought my best guy friend.
And apparently he brought his 'A' game but--
No, that's the name of your drink.
Do you want another Lonely Lady?
Oh. Yes, please.
We are all booked for Carly's birthday trip
to Snoqualmie Falls!
- Yeah! - Whoo!
Snoqualmie Falls birthday trip! Yes!
You guys are gonna have so much fun. Send pics.
You're not coming?
Carly sends us away every year because
of her evil birthday curse.
[everyone] Ooh.
Don't know why you guys are doing ghost noises,
I'd take a ghost over this curse any day.
Ghosts could be hot. Remember Patrick Swayze?
She's had a few minor mishaps on a few July 24ths.
A few? Minor?
16th birthday, gummy bear lamp burned down my bedroom.
19th, chipped my tooth on a banana.
24th, got mud for my Tamagotchi.
I miss you Coochie Potchie.
It's the curse.
[everyone] Ooh.
That's why I now spend my birthday alone
with a pie and nothing else.
[knocking]
If I'm home alone in my pajamas,
eating soft food with a spoon,
there's no way the curse can touch me.
Happy birthday, Carly Shay.
Principal Franklin? Hi. It's so good to see you.
Curse.
When dear Grandpa-pop Papperman told me
I couldn't inherit my trust fund until I married a human woman,
I was angry.
Human woman?
Hetero and homonormative.
But now I see Grandpapa only wanted me to be rich
in money and in love.
So if everyone
- could raise their gl-- - Oh, no!
Annie Flicko canceled. I'm down a bridesmaid.
I'm about to short circuit.
[everyone] Ooh.
Oh, dear, where will we find someone Annie's exact dress size
who's brunette with high cheekbones
and stands a hair under 5'6"?
If only I were tall enough.
Oh, but you are.
You're a classic 5'5" and 3/4.
Honey, I know it's so much to ask,
but... would you do me the honor of standing beside me
for the most important moment of my life?
Sure... [chuckles]
I'm already having such a wonderful time
and being your bridesmaid
will only make it better. [chuckles]
To my bride, Prunella, and more importantly, to Carly.
[everyone] To Carly.
Bet you wish you stayed home now.
No. Neville invited me here to mess with me.
But now I get to mess with him,
by exposing this entire wedding as a sham.
Something fishy's going on
and I think it's pretty obvious what it is.
- Prunella's a gold digger. - Prunella's a gold digger.
No. Prunella is a robot.
I don't trust that Wes and I don't need that class.
I already have the greatest teacher
in the world... the internet.
If I can install my own ceiling fan,
I can tune up my car.
Great idea, Carly.
I'm sure a 30 second TikTok can fix this death trap.
Freddie, just hand me that, uh, twisty thingy.
Okay, this is no big deal.
[wrenching]
[screaming]
- I gotcha. Come on. - Oh!
[groaning]
Son of a-- [horn honking]
You know what? That's okay.
I've almost got it. Freddie, go check the spark plugs.
Millicent, start it up!
Oh! Da-- [horn honking]
Millicent, stop that!
Then you two stop cussing.
Our girl's trip was a bust, huh?
Yep.
I got ditched, drank alone,
ruined your hookup, started an argument,
and then Brooke went home early.
Yep.
Sounds like every girl's trip I've ever been on.
Oh, yeah, I did it.
Haha.
Uh, I wonder why she thought we would be into a threesome.
It was so out of the blue.
Right? [chuckles]
[both sighing]
Should I get a separate room?
Yeah, definitely.