Get this figure and more at Lunar Toy Store.
Hey! My name is Jobby,
and no memes about dead gorillas here.
But I will say...
I wouldn't mind getting my dick out for Beast Wars.
And for those of you who don't know,
Beast Wars was a 90's television show about the descendants of the Autobots and the Decepticons.
The Maximals and the Predacons accidentally,
--or did they?--
travel back in time, and fight a war on prehistoric Earth.
And Optimus is a gorilla and Megatron is a T-Rex.
Yeeeeees!
The show had a great story,
great characters,
great anima- hmmm.
And as a lifelong Beast Wars fan, I've been waiting for a perfectly executed Beast Wars toy,
because the toys we got in the 90's...
I mean, they weren't bad, but they were definitely not perfect.
And although I was waiting for a Masterpiece Dinobot,
Optimus Primal will have to do.
So, was it worth almost 20 years of waiting?
Ehhhhhh-
FUCK YEAH!
Now as a side note,
out of the box this guy's in his beast mode.
But I wanna talk about the robot mode first, because this guy's-
look fuck, I dunno.
The painting and the sculpting on this guy is,
dare I say,
a masterpiece?
(humor)
This guy is as detailed as he needs to be,
which is to say,
he's SUPER accurate to the TV show.
This guy is-
LITERALLY-
my childhood come to life.
The figure is so show-accurate that it almost creates a Roger Rabbit effect.
It's almost as if an actual bad CGI model is in front of me.
If I had to complain about anything on this mode,
it would have to be the fact that I can finger his elbows.
And even then, this gap might be show-accurate?
I dunno, leave it down in the comments below.
And while the figure has a nice heft to him,
there isn't any die-cast parts to my knowledge.
I guess die-cast metal truly is a lost art.
By no means a negative, but more of a missed opportunity.
And the head sculpt is just beautiful.
Perfectly captures Big Bot's character.
And if the head sculpt by itself didn't impress you...
eAGuH
You can't turn the eyes off, but it does beautifully fade away after about...15 seconds.
Perfect amount of time to take some dank-ass shots!
And if you're not satisfied with the stoic face,
you g r e e d y l i t t l e b o y ,
you can actually change his face.
Kinda tough to get it off, but once you find that seam line...
You get an angry face,
a cheeky face,
and a Prime face.
God, that looks awesome.
This is Figma levels of expressiveness.
It's amazing.
And if that was all there was to the robot mode,
fuckin' great!
But Takara didn't stop there,
and I'm all the more hard for it.
You can come to the back and flip out these Mega Blasters!
And if you come to the forearm and use your disgusting nails...
you can flip out these Plasma Cannons!
And here's another little show-accurate feature.
You get these Prime Jets.
Well, Japan calls them Convoy Jets, but they're wrong.
And there's even a hole between his legs that you can shove a stand into.
(ew gross) And there's even a hole between his legs that you can shove a stand into.
But wait!
There's more!
You get these BEAUTIFUL-looking Cyber Swords!
And all you gotta do is put it in his hands,
wrap the fingers around,
and MMMmmm!
And if you didn't want to kiss this figure already, you can put the swords on his back.
And before I forget,
you get a high-quality card.
The red background with the big yellow eye really tickles my inner boy.
I'm just sayin' it's nostalgic,
please don't call the cops.
And on the back here, you get some pictures, some stats, some snake tongue-
So yeah, this guy has a decent amount of accessories,
and we'll get to that later.
Now, what would a Masterpiece Transformer be without a little bit of that
g o o d - g o o d ?
I don't recommend you swivel this fast,
it might mess with the light feature.
Leave the swiveling to the professionals.
Ball joint at the head,
rotation at the head fins,
looks up pretty far and down a good amount,
if you unpeg the shoulders, you can get some forward movement,
rotate at the arm,
arm moves out...
Now we can get a little crazy-
SWIVEL HERE,
bend at the elbow,
tight swivel at the wrist,
the hands can open and he can point.
Sexy ratcheting swivel,
rotation at the leg,
moves back that far,
beautiful spread...
(swivel here)
bend at the knee,
and if you untab here,
double bend at the knee,
--that looks gross--
up and down at the ankle,
a toe bend,
and a beautiful pivot.
If I had to nitpick the poseability,
I wish he had a wider stance.
But if you work with what ya got,
pure gold.
He's also a great size.
Here's Deluxe-Class Rattrap,
Voyager-Class Rhinox,
and, of course, the Figma Madoka Kaname,
SH Monsterarts Godzilla,
and...
the Masterpiece Optimus Prime.
And while these two look great together,
they're definitely not in scale.
That's more like it.
(pleasured) Oh, my childhood!
So I love this robot mode.
But the gorilla mode...
Ehhhh-
let's just get to the part that everybody skips.
(royalty-free jazz)
And here we have the
Just like the robot mode, the colors and the proportions are extremely TV-accurate.
The sculpting's very good, too,
besides those little pieces of robot kibble.
And what can I say?
It's a great beast mode, great painting, great-
fuuuck!
That's just...
That's just bad.
But in all honesty, it's totally forgivable.
I get that some compromises had to be made in the design process.
So as long as you don't look at that gorilla ass,
the beast mode looks great.
A standout is definitely the face.
Super show-accurate and the sculpt is full of life.
And just like the robot mode,
you get interchangeable faces.
(pure horror) you get interchangeable faces.
You got a fish-eyed roaring face,
and you get a smiling face.
And I think this is important to note.
(absolute terror) And I think this is important to note.
Unscrew that,
and these are the batteries for the light-up feature.
And they're not included with the figure, unfortunately.
And for added fun, you can still deploy the Plasma Cannons in beast mode,
and he can hold his swords.
And what would a Masterpiece Transformer be without th-
I already did that segue...
BLULULULUL
Ball joint at the head,
rotation at the arm,
arm ratchets out,
and from here, it's the same as the robot mode, except for-
no waist swivel,
no knee,
very nice spread,
and you get the same foot articulation.
But what if you wanted to make him look like a REAL damn dirty ape?
Well, you can.
Simply lift the head up,
unpeg the shoulders and move them forward,
and unhook the crotch.
That's a little hard to see, so here it is in robot mode.
Then bend the legs forward and put him down.
Not in that way-
(disapproval from audience) Alright, that was the Harambe joke of the review!
(disapproval from audience) I hope you enjoyed it!
(disapproval from audience) Leave a Like, comment,
(disapproval from audience) fffFUCK that Subscribe button!
Optimus is a bit shorter in this mode.
Rettrep,
RHINOX,
Madoka,
Godzilla,
Optimus Prime.
Overall, this figure is awesome!
(kissu)
Ahh!
While the beast mode is not perfect, it's still very good.
And that robot mode is just
PURE...
SEX.
(ohyes)
The figure is a bit pricy, but it's totally worth it if you're a Beast Wars fan.
And for all you dirty Americans,
you could get this figure for a slightly reduced price at the
Lunar Toy Store!
They continue to bless me with these free figures,
so please check 'em out.
This figure gets me excited for more Masterpiece Beast Wars figures.
I mean, what else could they do?
YeeeeeeesSS-
(aroused monkey noises)
putittinmy