Has there ever been a cuter couple than Michelle and Barack Obama?
Things have not always been easy, yet, through it all, they manage to stay happy and in love.
What's their secret?
Here's everything you didn't know about the Obamas' marriage.
Sparks at first sight While they were drawn to each other from the
first time they met, Michelle Robinson was reluctant to date Barack Obama.
As depicted in the 2016 bio-flick Southside With You, the couple met when Barack started
working at a Chicago corporate law firm, where Michelle was assigned as his mentor.
Despite Michelle’s reluctance, the former president revealed to Oprah Winfrey that he
was immediately “struck with how tall and beautiful [Michelle] was,” and said working
with her was “the luckiest break of my life.”
Michelle finally agreed to a date, and the pair got to know each other over a nice walk,
a Spike Lee flick, and some ice cream.
"He was hip, cutting edge, cultural, sensitive, patient..."
"Take tips, gentlemen."
Attracted to ambition The former first lady has admitted that she
wasn’t quite sure her relationship with Barack Obama would work out when they first
started dating, revealing her future husband “was really broke” when they met, with
a “cruddy” wardrobe and a rusted out car, and telling The Hyde Park Herald:
“I thought, ‘This brother is not interested in ever making a dime.’”
Since she’d grown up in a family that lived paycheck-to-paycheck, Michelle wasn’t eager
to start a similarly unstable life with another person.
Still, she found herself drawn to Barack.
In a speech at the 2008 Democratic National Convention, Michelle revealed what kept her
by Barack’s side, saying:
"He talked about the world as it is and the world as it should be.
And he said that, all too often, we accept the distance between the two, and we settle
for the world as it is, even when it doesn't reflect our values and aspirations."
"And isn’t that the great American story?"
There was almost no wedding Impossible as it is to imagine, the Obamas'
celebrated marriage might not have happened if Michelle had been a little less persistent.
According to The Washington Post, Barack was dedicated to the relationship and madly in
love with Michelle, but he didn't believe that marriage was necessary, even calling
it a "meaningless institution."
Michelle kept turning up the pressure, though, wanting a decades-long marriage like her parents
who had been going strong for 30 years.
In 1991, Barack finally surprised Michelle with a ring after she began to drop some not-so-subtle
hints about her plan to be married, reportedly telling her, "That kind of shuts you up, doesn't
it?"
It might not have been the most conventional of proposals, but it was an effective one.
The two were married on October 26th, 1992, officially taking their commitment to the
next level.
Infertility struggles Apparently, Barack and Michelle Obama’s
early wedded years weren’t all sunshine and rainbows.
In a 2018 interview with Good Morning America, Michelle revealed she’d suffered a miscarriage
a few years into their marriage, a heavy emotional blow that put a strain on her relationship
with Barack.
"And I felt like I failed because I didn't know how common miscarriages were....
We sit in our own pain, thinking that somehow we're broken."
To conceive Malia and Sasha, Michelle underwent fertility treatments, having to inject herself
daily for several weeks.
Since Barack was swallowed up in his state senate work by that time, Michelle wrote in
her memoir Becoming that she was left largely on her own to ensure her reproductive system’s
“peak efficiency,” though her husband remained sweet and attentive throughout the
journey.
Fortunately, the grueling process was well worth it for the couple.
On July 4th, 1998, the Obamas welcomed their first daughter, Malia, with sister Sasha following
soon after on June 10th, 2001.
Parenthood vs. politics
Michelle Obama never set out to be a politician's wife, and the years of Barack Obama campaigning
and being in public office soon began to take their toll.
In her memoir Becoming, Michelle describes how her husband’s hectic schedule and long
working hours would often cut into his time with their children, writing:
"I understood it was nothing but good intentions that would lead him to say, 'I'm on my way!'
or 'Almost home!’
And for a while, I believed those words.
I'd give the girls their nightly bath but delay bedtime so that they could wait up to
give their dad a hug."
"He’s flittering in… there were… tensions started to arise."
Michelle later told Elle magazine:
"I was mad.
When you get married and have kids, your whole plan, once again, gets upended.
Especially if you get married to somebody who has a career that swallows up everything,
which is what politics is."
Number one fan Michelle has always been Barack's biggest
cheerleader, but she confessed that she didn't think he had a hope of winning the 2008 presidential
election.
During her book tour for Becoming, Michelle revealed that she had no real wish to be the
first lady, but supported her husband's presidential run anyway, never believing he’d actually
win.
While Michelle had faith in her husband’s leadership abilities, she simply couldn’t
bring herself to believe that America would, in her words, “elect a black president named
Barack Hussein Obama.”
"I was like, 'Really?
You actually pulled this off?'"
Still, she threw herself wholeheartedly into her husband’s campaign, insisting on playing
an active role and telling Barack’s aides, “I’ve never done this before.
I just need you to tell me what to do.”
Michelle’s unwavering support of her husband and their aspirational marriage is likely
one of the prominent reasons Barack Obama was able to clinch the election not once,
but twice.
In 2011, the 44th President of The United States opened up to Oprah Winfrey about his
wife’s importance in his life, telling the talk show host:
“[Michelle] is just my rock, and I count on her in so many ways every single day.”
No shame in getting help As hard as it might be to believe, the Obamas
don't have a perfect marriage.
Their union has been tested at many points throughout the decades, and Michelle revealed
in a 2018 interview with Elle that she and Barack have sought outside counseling to work
through some of their problems.
While she admitted that she thought counseling would ultimately help her make her case against
Barack, Michelle said that she ended up learning a lot more about herself throughout the process,
revealing her biggest takeaway to Oprah Winfrey on her book tour for Becoming:
"I need support, and I need some from him, but I needed to figure out how to build my
life in a way that works for me."
Marriage counseling isn’t the the Obamas’ only secret for a successful marriage.
In an interview with Today, Michelle revealed a surprising and hilarious trick the couple
uses to keep the spark alive: separate bathrooms.
"When he enters my bathroom sometimes I'm like 'Why are you in here?'"
"'What are you doing?'"
"And he's like 'I live here, can't I enjoy my bathroom too?'"
A happy home While Barack Obama’s days as a busy senator
and presidential-hopeful put a strain on his home life and marriage with Michelle, the
years he spent as President seem to have brought his family closer together.
Though he certainly had a full schedule as President of the United States, living in
the White House meant that Barack could work from home -- and was therefore able to dedicate
more time to his wife and children.
In an interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2009, Michelle revealed that having her husband
home more often was her favorite part of living in the White House, saying:
"That's the beauty of living above the office: Barack is home every day.
The four of us sit down to eat as a family…
And now I can just pop over to his office, which sometimes I'll do if I know he's having
a particularly frustrating day."
However, Michelle said in a 2018 interview that she doesn’t particularly miss her White
House days: "No, I don’t miss the house, because we
took what was important in that house with us, and it is with us.
It’s family, it’s values, it’s the friendships."
Learning to argue Like any other couple, the Obamas have their
differences.
And as Michelle Obama revealed to Elle, she and her husband respond to anger in completely
different ways, and unfortunately, Keegan Michael-Key isn’t always around to be Barack’s
anger translator.
"And that’s why we’re running for a third term!"
"No, we’re not."
"Oh, we’re not?"
Michelle revealed to Elle magazine how learning to approach arguments and effectively communicate
with one another took time and patience, saying:
"I am like a lit match…
And he wants to rationalize everything.
So he had to learn how to give me, like, a couple minutes, or an hour, before he should
even come in the room when he's made me mad.
And he has to understand that he can't convince me out of my anger.
That he can't logic me into some other feeling."
"I have opinions."
"She’s got a few views."
In a 2012 interview, the then-President sweetly doted on his marriage and credited hard times
for his and Michelle’s remarkable bond, telling Barbara Walters:
“If you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens.”
Making a point to communicate and handle their disagreements with grace is a mark of how
serious the Obamas are about maintaining a healthy, loving relationship.
The love social media Barack and Michelle Obama are about as cute
as couples come, and their social media posts to each other show how much they're still
feeling the love.
In November 2018, Barack couldn't help hyping the release of his wife's memoir, Becoming,
writing on Instagram:
"Of course, [Michelle is] my wife, so I'm a little biased here.
But she also happens to be brilliant, funny, wise, one of a kind.
This book tells her quintessentially American story.
I love it because it faithfully reflects the woman I have loved for so long."
And just like the rest of us, these two love a sweet birthday shoutout.
On her husband’s birthday in 2018, Michelle posted a picture on Instagram of the former
president looking off into the distance, captioning the photo:
"Happy birthday [Barack Obama]!
The view is always better with you."
Barack had wished his wife a happy birthday earlier in the year, writing:
“You’re not only my wife and the mother of my children, you're my best friend.
I love your strength, your grace, and your determination.
And I love you more each day.
Happy Birthday."
Still the same, despite fame Power and fame have a way of changing people,
but Michelle Obama swears that becoming the leader of the free world didn't go to Barack
Obama’s head.
In her speech at the 2012 Democratic National Convention, the former first lady praised
her husband for staying down to earth, and said he was still the same man she fell in
love with all those years ago.
“He's the same man who started his career by turning down high paying jobs and instead
working in struggling neighborhoods where a steel plant had shut down, fighting to rebuild
those communities and get folks back to work… because for Barack, success isn't about how
much money you make, it's about the difference you make in people's lives."
Michelle went on to talk about Barack's dedication to his children and his devotion to his marriage:
"Today, I love my husband even more than I did four years ago… even more than I did
23 years ago, when we first met."
Here’s some advice She might have one of the most enviable marriages
of the 21st century, but Michelle Obama believes that the institution of marriage still needs
a lot of work.
During a speech she delivered as part of her book tour Michelle told the crowd:
"Marriage still ain't equal, y'all.
I tell women that whole 'you can have it all'... nope, not at the same time, that's a lie.
It's not always enough to ‘lean in,’ because that s--- doesn't work."
The profanity might be surprising coming from the former first lady who has always been
careful about the language she uses, but if anything, it simply drives her point in further.
Michelle is the perfect example of how being a wife, mother, and career woman is a constant
balancing act, and she’s not afraid to tell the husbands of the world to make more of
an effort when it comes to doing their part as both a spouse and father.
In a 2016 interview with Oprah at the first White House summit on the State of Women,
Michelle urged the men in the room to be better partners and fathers, saying:
"Do the dishes, you know?...
Be engaged, you know?
Don't just think going to work and coming home makes you a man."
You tell ‘em, Michelle!