(music)
Martina: Guys, today we're gonna be doing a donut challenge video
M: from Camden's Blue Donuts
Simon: Uhuh
M: They are a shop out of Portland
M: and the only place you can buy them outside of the USA
M: is in Japan
M: And I have had a lot of donuts in my time
M: I mean we've had a lot that we went to
M: Voodoo donuts S: Yeah
M: We went to Chicago
M: We did like tonnes of donut places
M: This is the best donut I've ever put in my mouth
S: These are amazing donuts
S: and we have here the creme brulee donut
S: and we only got one of them
S: so here's how today's gonna go
S: We have two cards
S: A donut card and a no donut card
S: We're gonna have to pick
S: Whoever picks the donut card gets their pick of the donut
S: They will NOT be allowed to eat the creme brulee donut
S: until they win two cards in a row
S: because that's so good
S: And the first person to get it right away might just
S: not feel right
M: I made up that rule
M: because I know Simon was gonna
M: go for it and not share with me S: 'Cause I- 'cause whoever gets it
S: This is the number one choice
S: This creme brulee donut, you will see when we get there
S: Dan, I think we're ready to start
M: We are ready to start...
M: but I will say one thing
S: What?
M: If I don't get a single donut today
S: Ohoho (laughs)
M: I will come straight back here
M: and eat five donuts of my choice
S: Girl- M: because it would be totally unfair
S: That's the whole point of this game
S: Like-
M: You can't tell but our hands are getting like-
S: is it firm?
S: Firm will crush your f*cking hand
S: You ain't gonna eat no donuts
M: How're you gonna eat a donut with no hands?
M: Uh (*pow*)
(*pow*) M: Uh!
S: (laughs nervously)
M: Ahhmm
S: We're gonna rock, paper, scissor
S: Loser gets to close their eyes and pick one of the cards
S: 'cause we could see through the cards and we're gonna cheat
M: 'kay you ready? S: Are you ready?
M: (intense pumped up bring it on Simon I'm gonna win breathing exercise)
M: You ready? S: Ready
S&M: Jan ken poi
S: (whispers)
S: Okay
M: Okay, so it doesn't mean anything yet S: Okay
S: Okay, Martina gets the first choice M: It doesn't mean anything yet
S: (shuffles cards intensely)
S: 'kay, what hand do you want? Left or right?
M: I want your right hand
S: You want my right hand?
M: Your right hand
S: My right hand
M: Whatever's in your right hand
S: I'm not cheating at all
M: Flip it over
S: My right hand, are you ready?
M: Yup
S: Oh no!
S: Okay, that's fine that's only- M: Mother f*cking
S: That's not the creme brulee donut M: told ya
S: That's not the creme brulee donut
S: It's not the creme brulee donut!
M: Oh my god, which one should I have?
M: Probably something limited edition
M: that Simon will never get the chance to have ever again
M: This is like- I'm sorry to do this to you but S: Uhhh
S: Uhhhh
M: You know what I'm going for?
S: What?
M: Ichigo~
S: Okay, that's fine that's not the one I M: Okay
S: had my eyes on
M: Which one did you have your eyes on?
M: The cheesecake one?
S: I'm not telling you because you're just gonna eat it next M: I guess I'll go for the cheesecake one
M: Oh my god, look at that
M: Oh, so heavy
M: Oh my wrist
M: The weight of the custard is too much to handle
M: So this here is a limited edition
M: Ichigo, strawberry and lime custard donut
M: Lime and strawberry coming together (Simon crying in the background)
M: in perfect union
M: This is also a Japanese strawberry
M: making it even more perfect if possible
(Martina noms on the delicious donut as Simon longingly looks at it)
M: Mmm
S: (clears throat)
M: Oh my god
M: Oh my god!
M: It's bright, and citrusy
M: so it's not too sweet
M: but the vanilla cream on the inside
M: has little tiny- you can see all the vanilla bean dots inside
M: and then the sweet strawberry glaze just kinda gives it a punch
M: This is the perfect donut
M: 'Cause you know I don't like things that are too sweet
M: It 's like almost like a margarita hiding on the inside
S: I can feel my hand shaking right now
S: For some reason, Martina wants to share her f*cking donut with this guy
S: It's bullsh*t (Dan and Martina laugh)
S: I still don't have any donut
M: Look at Dan, got the big puff of cream on the end Dan: (enjoys eating the delicious donut)
M: Isn't that amazing?
M: You see how I'm saying it's not too sweet?
D: (to Simon) You should try this
D: Oh no- M: Oh wait, you can't try it can you?
M: Aww? D: (audible munching noises)
M: Dan, would you not say that was a life changing donut?
D: Yeah, I would say that's maybe the best donut I've ever had
M: Yeah, that was like-
M: that might've trumped the other donuts I've had from this shop
S: I was actually feeling happy before coming here but
M: Oh I'm sorry S: now you're gonna see like an angry p*ssed off Simon
S: You- you haven't seen this side of me yet
M: He just breaks into tears so it's fine
S: I'm not gonna cry
S: That's a-
M: Okay now's your chance
S: Okay
M: Since you're the loser
M: You get to pick S: I get to pick
M: Loser Sa-i-mon S: Please
S: Tell me that there's justice in the world, okay
S: Give me your left card
(intense music)
S: Sweet baby Jesus M: (laughs)
S: I haven't spoke with you M: 8 pound 4 ounce baby Jesus
S: in a long time
M: I like the-
M: I like the grown up variety S: (laughs)
S: I really want a donut M: Rockstar Jesus
S: right now M: (laughs)
M: People are dying and starving around the world
M: Jesus is like "What's that Simon? You want a donut?"
S: Okay, are you ready?
M: Yup
M: 3, 2, 1
M: One
S: f*ck M: Ohohohohoooo
S: Oh f*ck
M: Pununununununuuuu
S: I don't wanna play this anymore
M: What should I pick?
M: Dum dum dum S: How did we agree to this?
M: This is one of their signature donuts
M: Basil Bourbon, not for children, folks
M: A beautifully,
M: magically handcrafted donut
S: Sometimes with like cheapy donuts
S: they give you the glaze on top, and you see like the bottom half has no glaze
S: like it goes all- M: All the way through
M: on a brioche style
M: donut, of fluffy magic
(Simon looks longingly at Martina eating the donut)
M: Mmmmm
M: That-
M: That is great
M: Oh!
M: The basil-
M: just gently hiding underneath the blueberry
M: Mmm
M: You got that sweet, sugary basil kick
M: without it being-
M: Oh man
S: (dying of hunger from donut deprivation)
M: Let's break this apart, and show everyone (laughs)
S: Please no, don't put any more in your mouth
S: It landed on my hand
S: What am I supposed to do?
S: What are the rules
S: of engagement in this situation?
(Simon cries as Martina laughs)
(Martina continues laughing)
D: Mmmm
D: (with a mouthful of donut) Oh my god
M: I know
D: (to Simon) You should tr-
D&M: Aww M: He can't try it
M: Sorry 'bout that
M: What's great about this donut is
M: This is not overly sweet
M: and there is a basil undertone in your mouth
M: like when you have like a rosemary cocktail
M: It's no like so much herb
M: that it's gonna taste like it's savoury
M: It's still sweet but it's just
M: magical
M: Oh my god
(sensual donut eating music)
(Simon is unhappy music)
(sensual donut eating music continues)
(Simon is unhappy music continues)
(sensual donut eating music carries on)
M: Mmm
(sensual donut eating music seems to carry on forever)
(Simon's really not a happy chappy)
(more sensual donut music)
S: This is f*cked
S: Losing two in a row
S: (clears throat)
S: I have to get the third one
S: That's- It's just math, okay?
M: But is it math?
S: This is just-
S: Okay
S: We're moving to a different location
S: this spot is cursed
S: We're gonna sit somewhere else
S: There's a bad- There's a- M: Simon, Simon Potter
M: and the cursed donut S: There's a demon juju happening here
S: Let's- let's go somewhere else
S: This is bullsh*t
M: You sure?
S: This is a hundred- Yes
M: You go scout a location S: We're gonna sit somewhere else
M: I'm gonna eat all of the um, S: I'm gonna find a location
M: Basil crumbs that are falling down S: That you can't uh-
S: This is- this is f*cked M: See you in a second then
M: Oh there's some crumbs here
M: Mmm
M: (whispers) I'm coming for you
M: (whispering) You will be mine
M: (whispering) You'll be mine
(music)
M: So just an update on what's happening in case you're joining us right now
M: Uh, if Simon doesn't win this
M: he will have no chance of ever getting the creme brulee donut
M: because I have two wins in a row
M: and if I win this one
M: I'm picking the creme brulee donut
M: Immediately
M: Immediately!
S: Okay
M: So Simon
S: Shuffle up the cards
S: Do it nice and fair
M: Do what nice and fair?
M: You're the one that's picking the wrong things S: Oh my god
M: I'm holding it like this S: Okay
M: This is my right, this is my left
S: Okay M: Simon, pick a hand
S: Please give me your
S: left hand
M: My left hand
S: Yes M: I'm not looking either so there it is
S: Okay
M: Here's mine
S: Okay
M: Tell me when you're ready
S: (clears throat)
S: If there is any justice in this world
M: No that's now how you should start that sentence
M: it's donuts
(S&M laugh)
S: It's donuts
S: I'm just- I'm just M: It's not that big a deal
S: I'm just a spoiled Youtube brat
S: who wants a f*cking donut, alright? M: (laughs)
M: I WANT
M: A DONUT!
S: You ready?
M: Yup, ready?
S&M: 3, 2, 1
S&M: (slow-mo) 3, 2, 1
S&M: 2, 1
S: Oh f*ck
M: Oohohohoho S: Oh no
S: Oh no!
M: Uh!
M: Uh
M: Creme brulee (S: What?) donut for me
M: in my mouth and for Dan
S: No!
S: No M: It's for me and it's for Dan (S: No)
M: It's for me and it's for Dan S: This isn't fair
M: Remember when I was like-
S: This is impossible
M: Remember when I was like
M: We should just cut all the donuts and have and eat them
M: and you said to me
M: if I could rewind time
M: (as Simon) Yeah, we should play a game where we can gamble and see who has the donuts
M: And then what happens?
S: This impossible
M: What happens?
S: This is impossible
M: Is it?
S: This is impossible
M: Inconthievable
S: This is-
M: Dan
M: Come a little closer, Dan
M: Let's uh-
M: Oh- Simon's leaving us
M: Simon's
M: growing mushrooms in a corner
M: Hello?
S: Hello, this is the police
S: you have to leave the premises right away
M: Okay, I'll just pack up my donuts and go
S: No, leave donut behind, you go
S: Police... say go right now
M: Why do the police sound like they're European?
S: Shut up foreigner, you go
M: (laughs)
M: Konnichiwa baka gaijin
M: (laughs)
M: Welcome to Nihon
(S&M laugh)
M: Oh he's trying to distract us
M: we're going back to this
M: Here's what's up with this donut
M: The outside has been encoated in the magicalness
M: of which is creme brulee
M: so that it's a gentle
M: sugar coat glaze, like a real creme brulee
M: This is filled with Cointreau
M: The orange liqueur
M: And you squeeze the orange Cointreau
M: You inject it in to the custard
M: So that when you bite in to it S: Oh my god
M: you get little veins of orange Cointreau with your custard
M: and your beautiful, crunching creme brulee on top S: This-
S: This is an amazing donut
S: I had it before. It's-
M: I've never had it
M: because Simon didn't share with me
S: It's so stupidly good
(music)
(*donut crunching noise*)
M: Can you hear that crunch?
M: Mmmm
S: That's-
M: Dan, you're gonna like this one
(*donut crunching*)
S: That's-
S: Oh my god
M: Mmmm
S: This is such a sh*tty video
S: Please click the
S: unlike button right now
S: Thumbs down this video
M: Oh, oh no
M: It's just
M: trippling everywhere
S: Just unsubscribe right now M: Mmm
S: This is- there's no justice
S: You know what?
S: I blame Youtube for this, alright?
S: You know how people are blaming Youtube for the ads
S: and the subscribers
M: Oh my god!
M: The cream on the inside is unbelievable
S: I'm like M: Woah!
M: The cream on the inside is creme brulee custard
M: Dan
M: It's actually creme brulee custard
D: Ohohohohoho
D: That is the best donut M: Isn't that amazing?
D: I've ever had in my life
M: Right?
D: Mmmm
M: Shall we-? Si-
M: Oh no, we can't share it with Simon
D: No
M: No
(music and muffled swearing)
M: Uh, welcome back to the donut olympics
M: if you're joining us now
M: Simon is down 3
M: There are only 2 donuts remaining
M: Only one that he wants
M: the cheesecake one
S: I just want the cheesecake one
S: I just want the cheesecake
M: Will he do it, folks?
M: Will he go for a fourth loss?
S: Okay
M: I'm mixing up the cards
M: I don't know what's what
M: I'm not looking S: I don't think you understand how nervous I am
M: I'm actually, like- S: My pitts
S: just opened up with sweat right now
S: I gotta open up this jacket to let out the steam
S: If I had glasses right now they'd be foggy
S: You ready? M: Call it, Simon
M: My right or my left?
S: I am going for
S: Your left hand
M: My left hand
S: Your left hand
M: I didn't look
S: Okay
M: handed it to you
S: Alright
M: Tell me when you're ready
S: (cries) I'm not ready
S: I'm so nervous
S: Here we go
M: Okay
S: 3, 2, 1
S: (slow-mo) 2, 1
S: Yes!
S: I finally have a donut
M: You sure?
M: 'Cause I dropped the box a little while back, so
S: Finally have a donut
M: Wanna thank your family and friends?
S: I want you to know
S: that dreams can come true
S: Don't ever stop believing in yourself M: Don't
M: not, ever S: Even if the odds are stacked against you
S: never lose faith in yourself
M: I'm just gonna eat his donut while he keeps talking
S: Oh my god
S: I will just
S: mush it in your face
M: Okay, then I'll eat it
M: There you go, Simon
S: This is the one I wanted for so long
M: So do you know what this is?
M: This is a
M: raspberry, pistachio cheesecake donut
S: Oh my god
M: So what's cool about this location is that
M: they're always making new flavours
M: and things sell out, so if you come at night time
M: you might may not- never get to try this, like-
S: Woman
S: This is my moment
M: Oh okay
S: I could finally
S: I'm biting it right in the whole M: Simon, how is your finaly fantasy game going?
S: I'm ready r-rrr
M: Did you wanna tell me about- oh he's just-
M: he cannot be stopped
M: Wow!
M: That's-
M: the grossest bite I've ever seen
S: Mmm
S: The glaze
S: is so tangy
S: and the raspberry
S: is a good tart raspberry
S: those little white chocolate balls
S: have like little like crunchy, cereal bits on the inside
S: The donut is so
S: moist and cakey
S: The cream
S: adds a nice, flat baseline
S: to contrast
S: the tartness of the cream
S: of the raspberry
S: raspberry and pistachio
M: Where's the cheesecake part?
S: make
S: love to each other
M: (laughs)
S: This is like Christmas
S: Almost taste like a slushie
S: The red cream
S: it's like
S: lemony
S: and
S: just, summer refreshment
S: You're not having a bite of this, girl
M: I'm really tempted to now try it
M: because S: You're not having a bite of this
M: You know who's the real winner of this game?
M: Dan
M: 'Cause he's getting like half of everyone's donut
S: Dan, ain't getting sh*t
S: Dan got the f*cking creme brulee
S: You ain't getting a bite of this at all M: He's not sharing with us, Dan
S: Ain't no shots in the head for this one
S: You know what's great?
S: for those of you that don't necessarily know how to cook well
S: if you're worried about how to season your food
S: the best seasoning for your food
S: hunger
S: Don't eat for a long time
S: let your stomach rumble
S: then anything you eat is delicious afterwards
M: Mhmm
S: Oh my god
M: I am- I will say I am a little bit jealous now
S: This is unfathomably M: I'm definitely a little bit jealous
S: amazing
M: It really doesn't matter what donut you pick at this place
M: It's gonna be a good donut
M: Well I hope you guys enjoyed our very caloric adventure
M: At uh Camden's Blue Donuts
M: This was a pretty good day
M: I'd say that I won pretty well
M: I got all the donuts I wanted
M: Dan got to share those with me
M: Simon didn't share with anyone
M: 'Cause he's salty
M: He's a salty loser
M: If you're coming to Japan
M: There are lots of locations around Japan S: Mmmm
M: The one we're in is one of our favourite
M: because it's the prettiest location
M: What is this neighbourhood called, Simon?
S: Daikanyama
M: You could check the link
M: to our blog post, and we will tell you how to get to this particular location
M: But- I mean everything here is perfect
M: And don't come on the weekends
M: 'Cause I heard the lineup goes
S: Don't come on a weekend M: down the street
M: Like actually down the street
M: Just come in the middle of the week
M: when no one's around and eat all the donuts
S: Come to Japan
S: Eat donuts
M: I'm gonna go to the gym now
M: If you'll excuse me
S: That was like 3,000 calories we just ate
S: YOU just ate
S: I actually ate more donuts than you
S: 'Cause I didn't share any of my donuts