>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME, KEVIN HART!
♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )
>> HELLO!
HELLO!
IT'S AMAZING, ISN'T IT?
GOOD FOR YOU.
>> Stephen: PEOPLE VERY EXCITED ABOUT KEVIN HART.
>> OH, STOP IT!
STOP THAT!
>> Stephen: WAIT A SECOND.
THAT'S AN AMAZING RESPONSE, BUT YOU MUST BE USED TO THAT PAUSE
YOU'RE ONE OF THE FEW COMEDIANS IN THE WORLD, YOU SELL OUT HUGE
ARENAS.
LIKE THE O2 ARENA IN LONDON, MADISON SQUARE GARDEN.
AND WHAT'S THE BIG ARENA IN PHILLY?
LINCOLN FINANCIAL WHERE YOU'RE FROM.
>> WE DID 53,000 PEOPLE.
I'M WHAT DO YOU CALL IT, A BIG DEAL.
YEAH.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE.
HOW DO YOU PLAY-- HOW DO YOU PLAY A JOKE TO 53,000 PEOPLE?
HOW DO YOU, LIKE, HOLD A ROOM LIKE THAT, MAN?
>> WELL, I THINK I PRIDE MYSELF ON MAKING THOSE ROOMS INTIMATE
ROOMS.
I'M A STORYTELLER, SO WHEN YOU TELL A STORY THE BEAUTY OF DOING
IT WITH AN AMAZING AUDIENCE IS CAPTIVATING THE THE AUDIENCE
WITH EVERY WORD UNTIL THE PUNCHLINE COMES.
I PAINT PICTURES BUT THEY'RE REALISTIC PICTURES.
AT THE END OF THE DAY, I PUT MYSELF IN YOUR SHOES AND YOU CAN
SEE YOURSELF IN MY STORIES BECAUSE MY STORIES ARE
RELATABLE.
I DON'T SEPARATE MYSELF.
THAT'S WHY I LOVE YOU PEOPLE.
>> Stephen: IT'S GOOD TO KNOW WHY PEOPLE LOVE YOU.
I WOULDN'T WANT IT TO BE A MYSTERY.
>> NO, YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF REALITY, AND
REGARDLESS OF ANY SUCCESS THAT YOU HAVE YOU HAVE TO MAINTAIN
THAT CONNECTION WITH THE FANS.
>> Stephen: YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN HOLD ON TO REALITY?
YOU'RE SO HUGE.
YOU HIT 30 MILLION PEOPLE ON TWITTER TODAY.
>> I DID!
EVERYBODY DANCED AROUND THE WORLD.
I TWEETED, "DANCE."
I JUST HIT 30 MILLION.
I WANT EVERYBODY TO DANCE.
AND I REALLY BELIEVE EVERYBODY DANCED.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU HAVE TWO MOVIES OUT RIGHT NOW AT THE SAME TIME.
YOU HAVE "THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS"."
YOU'VE GOT "CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE" WITH DWAYNE
JOHNSON.
>> YES, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, MAN.
>> Stephen: "SECRET LIFE OF PETS" YOU PLAY A MILITANT--
>> WHITE BUNNY.
>> Stephen: WHITE BUNNY.
OKAY.
I DO NOT THINK OF YOU AS A MILITANT WHITE BUNNY.
>> FIRST OF ALL, I TOOK IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO PLAY
SOMEBODY WHITE.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
YOU KNOW, I JUMPED AT THE OPPORTUNITY.
>> Stephen: UH-HUH.
>> I SAID I'M NOT GOING TO GET THIS OPPORTUNITY A LOT.
I SAID I'LL TAKE IT.
IT'S A BUNNY.
IT DON'T MATTER.
HE'S WHITE.
I WANT TO DO IT.
WHEN THEY TOLD ME HE'S MILITANT, THE WHOLE THING WITH THE BUNNY
IS HE IS STARTING A REVOLUTION.
THIS GUY IS IN CHARGE OF TAKING THIS GROUP OF PETS AND TURNING
THEM AGAINST HUMANS.
AND I WAS LIKE, THAT'S ME.
I DO THAT ALL THE TIME.
I BROUGHT MY CHARACTERISTIC TRAITS TO THE BUNNY.
AND THEY LOVED IT.
THEY ALLOWED ME TO IMPROV AND PLAY AROUND AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
IT CAME OUT GOOD.
>> Stephen: DO YOU HAVE PETS OF YOUR OWN?
>> I DO HAVE PETS.
I HAVE TWO DOGS.
>> Stephen: DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU'RE NOT AROUND THEY'RE DOING
THE KINDS OF THINGS THESE ANIMALS ARE DOING?
>> 100%.
I HAVE A DOBERMAN PINCHER.
AND A MIN-PIN.
>> Stephen: OH, MINIPINCHER.
>> I DID IT AS A JOKE.
I BOUGHT IT AS A JOKE.
WHEN PEOPLE COME TO MY HOUSE, LOOK AT THE BIG DOBERMAN!
HE'S GOT A LITTLE ONE, TOO!
>> Stephen: DO PEOPLE DO THAT?
>> NO.
NOBODY HAS DONE IT, AND IT HAS PISSED ME OFF.
IT'S MADE ME FEEL LIKE THE LITTLE ONE OF A WASTE OF MONEY.
NOBODY GETS IT.
YOU'RE THERE FOR A PUNCHLINE.
THAT'S THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE THERE IS TO BE A PUNCHLINE.
>> Stephen: I HOPE THAT DOG IS NOT WATCHING RIGHT NOW.
IT WOULD BE REALLY DEPRESSING TO FIND OUT YOU WERE JUST THERE FOR
A PUNCHLINE.
>> THAT DOG COOKED POTATO SALAD ONE DAY, I KNOW HE DID.
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE POTATO SALAD, AND MY LADY CAN'T
COOK.
I CAME HOME, POTATO SALAD WAS ON THE TABLE.
WHO COOKED THE POTATO SALAD?
HAD TO BE THE DOG.
>> Stephen: THAT'S LOGICAL.
100% PURE LOGIC.
>> I LOVE DOGS.
I HAVE BECOME A DOG GUY.
MY FIANCE IS AING TO LOVER.
I WAS AGAINST PETS.
I WAS AGAINST ( BLEEP ) THAT COULD MESS MY HOUSE UP.
>> Stephen: HOW DID SHE TURN YOU INTO A DOG PERSON?
>> WOMEN DO MAN.
THEY MAKE YOU DO WHAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO.
THAT'S WHAT WOMEN DO.
THAT'S A TALENT WOMEN HAVE.
THEY BEAT YOU DOWN.
I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DID IT.
I THINK SHE ASKED ME FOR TWO YEARS STRAIGHT.
AND ONE DAY I MIGHT HAVE BEEN DRUNK AND I WAS LIKE, "ALL
RIGHT."
AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW, WE GET THESE DOGS.
AND NOW THE DOGS SLEEP IN THE BED.
I HAVE NO SAY-SO.
MY DOBERMAN, I WOKE UP, THIS DOG'S RESPECT LEVEL IS SO LOW.
HER FACE IS ON MY FACE.
AND I WAS LIKE, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
AND SHE'S GOING ( GROWLING ).
>> Stephen: YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE DOGS STILL, RIGHT?
YOU CROSSED OVER BETWEEN MAKING YOU DO THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO
DO.
>> MY LADY LETS IT HAPPEN.
I DON'T EVEN HAVE CONTROL OVER MY BED ANYMORE.
I COME THERE, AND THE DOGS ARE IT IN THE BED.
I HAVE TO FIND A POSITION TO SLEEP IN.
INSPECTORLY THE DOG IS IN THE BED AND HE LOOKS AT THE COMFORT
SPOT.
AND I'M LIKE THAT'S ME.
EXCUSE ME I DON'T WANT TO WAKE ANYBODY UP.
>> Stephen: DO YOU MIND IF I SLEEP AT THE BOTTOM.
>> I TAKE THIS NOOK VERSION OF THE BED THATY LEFT FOR ME.
I DON'T EXPLAIN ABOUT IT.
>> Stephen: I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU HAVE TIME TO BE HERE.
YOU'RE WRITING A MEMOIR THAT COMES OUT IN 2017, NEXT YEAR.
>> I'M GOING TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DAY IT IS.
RIGHT NOW, I'M SLEEPING.
THIS IS HOW I SLEEP.
IT'>> Stephen: IT'S FRIDAY, IT'SED FROM.
>> IT'S FRIDAY HERE BUT I HAVE TO BE SOMEPLACE ELSE TOMORROW.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT DAY IT WILL BE THERE.
I HAVE TO BE OUT OF THE COUNTRY.
HONESTLY, I'M WORKING A LOT, MAN.
I LOVE THE LOAD THAT I HAVE.
YOU KNOW, IT IS A LOT, AND I PUT A LOT ON MY PLATE BUT AT THE END
OF THE DAY GOD DOESN'T GIVE YOU ANYTHING YOU CAN'T HANDLE.
AND I'M A FIRM BELIEVER THAT I CAN NOT ONLY HANDLE THESE THINGS
BUT I'M DOING IT AT THE HIGHEST OF MY POTENTIAL.
I'M NOT ONLY HANDLING IT BUT I'M IN LOVE WITH IT.
I'M IN LOVE WITH MY CRAFT.
I'M IN LOVE WITH THE FACT THAT I'M SUCCEEDING.
>> Stephen: THAT'S FANTASTIC.
>> I'M HAPPY, I'M HAPPY.
>> Stephen: THAT'S A GREAT FEELING.
>> THAT'S AN AMAZING FEELING.
>> Stephen: YOU CAN HANG ON AND WE'LL TALK A LITTLE BIT
MORE.
>> WHAT IF I SAID NO.
>> Stephen: WE COULD COME BACK AND I WOULD WEEP INTO THE CAMERA
FOR A FEW MINUTES.
>> IN THAT CASE I CAN HANG ON.
>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE KEVIN HART.