okay I got a boardgame you definitely
never heard of I guarantee this is
deadly danger dungeon what creative mind
came up with this while you're looking
right at him when I was about 12 years
old my next-door neighbor's and I used
to sit around and make her own board
games they were pretty shitty there's
one game we made which was lost it was
based off of Michael Jackson's
Moonwalker why I'm confessing that I
don't know before we take a look at the
grand epic which is deadly danger
dungeon let's look at some of the other
survivors this is some weird spaceship
game I don't remember what the goal was
but from what I can see you have to run
through a minefield avoid getting sucked
up by an enemy ship avoid aliens with
headbands a puddle of glue and lots of
spaceships that blast at you that's what
it says you can also get transport to
this giant battlefield that takes up 90%
of the board how that worked I have no
recollection this is one of her
favorites mischief night the whole idea
was to go around playing pranks such as
smashing a pumpkin toilet paper in a
yard soap in the wall
splatting eggs on a wall throwing a
stink bomb at a car sneaking into
someone's house to leave the sink on
throwing a baseball out of window and
literally blocking someone's front door
with bricks and cement whoever this
person is must really hate his neighbors
then there's this one where you're a
robber trying to steal jewelry from a
house while avoiding elaborate traps
like in home alone this game looks like
we never finished
here's Street Fighter 2 I don't have any
idea how this worked I also have no idea
why there'd be people watching a plate
wearing peace signs I guess that was the
irony
then we jumped ahead and made Street
Fighter three I guess we got tired of
waiting for the actual game the
characters included Candyman Japanese
monster red dragon Master General
slaughter and Dracula
yeah Dracula and the Transylvania flag
is a bat of course you can say this
right here is the original Street
Fighter 3 what in the unholy mother of
[ __ ] what was I thinking to make a board
game of pit fighter now let's move on to
deadly danger dungeon my friends and I
remember this one has the most sadistic
and punishing game that we ever created
you play as a hapless treasure seeker
who falls in a trap landing in a ghastly
dungeon full of unspeakable perils the
goal is to climb your way back out but
you'll never make it without a long
streak of lucky rolls anywhere you step
there's some kind of hazard that either
takes a health going away or kills you
instantly it might be flying arrows
falling rocks spikes or a slide that
sends you into a volcanic fire if I
remember correctly you start with three
health points but you can raise it if
you find it too difficult it doesn't
matter anyway because there's so many
spaces that are instant death [ __ ] oh my
god what was I thinking to make it this
hard I was an [ __ ] it's not a linear
game you can't just go straight to the
exit first you have to get a talisman
but before you get the talisman you got
to get a key
it's a cruel game built only for the
mother [ __ ] STUV [ __ ] and that
reminds me
get your ass over here you [ __ ]
this is deadly danger dungeon what it
lies Mario well I I couldn't really make
my own pieces I guess I could have a
skull p or something but I that was
before I gave a [ __ ] about anything
okay so I just start rolling with this
yeah falling that says I fall okay game
on your dad your dad
well what about my hip points darling
I'll use that's an instant death if you
fall in spikes so your night L on spikes
already up here and all these spots are
bigger this place are bigger so the
other one making just one and it's more
distant maybe that one just pierced my
foot or something yeah this one actually
like went through my body I guess you
fellas beginning you meatballs
parmigiana uh five one two three four
five nothing space one who ball game
buckle over again I gotta get the key to
get the talisman and then I gotta go
forward and then go back and then climb
the ladder and then [ __ ] one two
three four five six oh all that [ __ ]
[ __ ] and I'm [ __ ] dead yeah you're
dead I what is the potion do can't I
come back to life with the potion no
well if you land on the spikes you're
dead
alright fine but what did the potion do
I brought your health back well I'm
[ __ ] dead I want to bring my health
back so can I use the potion on now you
used it when you get it like when you
get it that that's it
oh that's our G so let me ask you a
question has anybody ever made it again
oh one two three Oh in this [ __ ] pit
and there's two of them and I a [ __ ]
stinker [ __ ] and [ __ ] it's
annoying or one two three four and it's
the second [ __ ] hole having oh my god
that's over five times or six times I
got passed one time I got past us one
more time
one two three four five got the key got
the key again hey I'm doing this is like
the best or five fall and then [ __ ]
same spot in the game's [ __ ] over one
two three four five
it's [ __ ] unfair that's pretty much
it who's a [ __ ] now [ __ ]
oh I have to concede that would be the
designer of the game
you