John Carpenter and Debra Hill's Halloween celebrates its 40th anniversary in 2018, and
the occasion's being marked with a new movie.
Hearkening back to the original film, the movie will ignore all other sequels in the
series.
There have been ten Halloweens since 1978, including all of the sequels, remakes, and
detours.
Are they really all worth ignoring?
To answer that question, we're strolling methodically through Halloween history like Michael Myers,
starting with the outings we're most ready to forget.
Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers
The greatest sin a movie can commit is being boring, and The Return of Michael Myers is
just that.
Picking up ten years after the original, Return finds Michael waking up from a decade-long
coma when he overhears he has a niece.
It doesn't get much more thrilling from there.
We learn that Laurie Strode has died in a car accident, leaving a young daughter, Jamie.
With nothing better to do, Michael meanders into town to find her.
The Return of Michael Myers promptly turns into a tepid retread as Michael begins robotically
mowing down teenagers, with flat cinematography giving the uninspired action nowhere to hide.
It's a movie that coasts on its own concept, ultimately going nowhere.
Halloween (2007)
Though Rob Zombie was a bold choice to spearhead this reboot, the result is an overcomplicated,
unpleasant mess.
Mr. Zombie has no small amount of style, and he assembles a solid cast for his reimagining.
Unfortunately, the relentless dreariness and unstable story structure make it hard to connect
with.
Half lengthy backstory, half a remake of Halloween 1, this interesting effort just doesn't add
up.
Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers
Halloween 6 finds Jamie escaping from a cult six years after she and her unkillable uncle
were abducted.
She's finally killed by Michael, but not before giving birth to a baby who winds up in the
care of Paul Rudd, appearing in one of his first film roles.
The ridiculous plot revolves around the Cult of Thorn, a Druidic order bent on gaining
power through ritual sacrifice.
Their leader is revealed to be Dr. Terence Wynn - a character who appeared in one scene
of the first Halloween that you certainly won't remember.
The tangled drama leaves little room for either scares or fun.
The most compelling reason to watch is to marvel at Paul Rudd, who seemingly doesn't
age.
Halloween: Resurrection
The eighth Halloween begins as a reality TV satire, with contestants being sent into the
old Myers house for a night.
The house is full of spooky traps, but the danger gets real when Michael unexpectedly
comes home.
The first thing he kills is the interesting concept.
Watching Busta Rhymes yell at a computer is extremely fun, but even he can't save Resurrection
from being a dreary slog.
As an added insult, the film opens with a convoluted retcon to undo the ending of Halloween
H2O, which was originally intended as a series finale.
As part of this, Jamie Lee Curtis appears in a sad cameo, being brought back as a resident
of a mental hospital only to die - again.
Halloween II (2009)
Mr. Zombie returns to write and direct a sequel to his remake, and it's a marked improvement
over the first attempt.
Zombie chose to shoot Halloween II on 16 millimeter film, lending it an authentically gritty grindhouse
feel that sets it apart from more glossy horror movies.
It helps make the movie a surreal, hallucinatory feast - a unique turn for the series, even
if the resulting movie is still not great.
Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers
What the fifth Halloween may lack in originality, it makes up for with fun.
Since her last encounter with the Shape, Jamie has been experiencing hallucinations that
suggest some kind of telepathic link with her uncle Michael.
The movie is full of 80s-era indulgence, but the real attraction is Donald Pleasence as
Dr. Loomis, the long-suffering nemesis of Michael Myers, going more over-the-top than
ever in his single-minded efforts to stop the killer for good.
He fails.
Halloween II (1981)
Halloween II continues the story of Halloween as directly as possible, working desperately
all the while to feel different.
The sequel also explains Michael's relationship to Laurie, who's revealed to be his long-lost
sister.
The filmmakers knew that the mystique of Michael could never be recaptured - only continued.
The sequel is set entirely on the same night as its predecessor, letting Myers loose in
a hospital for an outing that's much more gory and violent than the one that came before.
But the movie never really justifies its own existence, setting a standard for all the
unnecessary follow-ups to come.
Halloween H20
Halloween H20 is one of the silliest titles in horror history, with the series' seventh
movie having nothing to do with water.
Instead, the title refers to the 20 years that have passed since the first two Halloweens
took place.
It reveals Laurie Strode to be alive again, living under an assumed name after faking
her death, serving as headmistress of a private school attended by her teenage son.
H20 is a Halloween for the Scream generation, with strong late 90s vibes in its casting
and style.
But while those traits haven't aged that well, the movie itself has, being a tight, slick
thriller that lets Laurie fight back when Michael comes for her son.
It's Jamie Lee Curtis who makes H20 worth watching.
Not only is her performance as a haunted, middle-aged Laurie compelling, the story was
also her idea, with Curtis pitching it as being about "regaining the soul by facing
your own fear."
Hey, isn't that what the new one's about too?
Halloween III: Season of the Witch
The boldest Halloween sequel tried its hardest not be a Halloween sequel.
Convinced that more Michael Myers could lead to diminishing returns, original writers Carpenter
and Hill decided to transform the franchise into an anthology, with the third film telling
a new story about Halloween night.
The story is about an ancient order of warlocks, who plan to slaughter children on Halloween
using the popular masks of an evil novelty company.
The masks, powered by microchips containing pieces of Stonehenge, cause bugs and snakes
to explode from the heads of their wearers when they're triggered by a special TV commercial.
The attack is vengeance for the commercialization of Halloween, meant to usher in a new age
of witchcraft.
While that weirdness is refreshing, the movie itself isn't quite as bonkers as it sounds.
But it's full of memorable moments, and could have set up a whole new direction for the
series.
Unfortunately, it was rejected by both viewers and critics, and the anthology concept was
abandoned.
Halloween (1978)
We can be debate the merits of every Halloween sequel, but the original is in a class of
its own.
Halloween became legendary by perfectly executing a simple concept.
Its characters are ordinary and relatable, and there's no contrived motivations or mythology.
There's just a man in a mask, waiting to kill you.
That waiting is the key to Halloween's power.
There are surprisingly few murders in the film, and the killings that do occur are almost
bloodless.
The movie mines horror from dread, not gore, leaving you breathless once the climax kicks
in.
Add in the shadowy cinematography and Carpenter's creepy keyboard score, and you've got a minimalist
masterpiece that redefined a genre..