- [Instructor] Hey Psych2goers.
Do you have any relationships in your life
that repeatedly leave you
feeling emotionally drained and miserable?
These can be in the form of a romantic partner, friend,
coworker, or a family member.
Have you tried to share your feelings
and being made to feel dejected or ashamed?
If so, you may be dealing with a toxic person.
In today's video,
we'll be looking at seven intelligent ways
to deal with toxic people.
Number one,
you established your physical and emotional boundaries.
Do you ever feel trapped in a conversation
or left ruminating about a conversation
you wish you hadn't been a part of?
Psychotherapist Amy Morin advises
that when dealing with toxic people,
you need to set your physical and emotional boundaries.
For instance, this could be in the form
of stepping back from a group of gossipers
that make you feel uncomfortable.
Understandably though,
it's not always easy to physically retreat,
such as in work settings with colleagues and bosses.
In instances like this,
you can limit the emotional energy
and time you spend thinking about them,
and try not to give much thought to them afterwards.
Number two, you avoid playing into their reality.
Have you ever been in a situation
where a friend or coworker makes a mistake
but blames it on you or someone else
rather than taking responsibility for their actions?
Whilst standing up and disagreeing can feel daunting,
this can be done in a respectful way.
In fact, it's actually healthy to agree to disagree.
According to Brito and Raypole, 2019,
a way to confront people
without being confrontational or accusatory
is taking them to decide and saying,
"I had a different take on the situation."
Whilst they may be upset with your disagreement,
they will recognize that you have a voice of your own
and you're not afraid to use it.
Number three, you don't share secrets with the gossipers.
Have you ever come across a group of people
who constantly talk about others
for enjoyment and entertainment sake?
According to psychiatrist, Ned Howell,
gossip can be defined as sharing information,
real or imagined, without permission.
Gossipers tend to delight in other people's pain,
and gossip about anyone and everyone they can.
Chances are, if someone shares
other people's secrets with you,
they're untrustworthy and we'll share your secrets to
if given the chance.
Because of this, the best thing to do in most instances
is to not share secrets with gossipers.
Number four, you focus on solutions not problem.
With many toxic people,
their focus tends to be on problems rather than solutions,
and they always have something to complain about,
which can be very emotionally draining
for people around them.
On the other hand, a way of dealing with this behavior
is by focusing your energy on solutions instead of problems.
If you have someone in your life
who creates problem after problem
and continuously expects you to help them fix things,
it might be worth reconsidering your relationship with them,
and preventing yourself from being sucked into their drama.
Number five, you spend time with loyal friends.
Do you have any friends in your life
that you know you can always count on?
A really good friend should have your back,
help you feel good about yourself
and celebrate your success with you.
It can be hard to come across such people,
so when you do hold them close
and show up for them the way they show up for you.
Rather than focusing your time and energy on toxic people,
surround yourself as much as possible
with loyal and loving friends.
Number six, you recognize the insults,
ignore them or toss up a joke.
Understandably insults hurt and they're unpleasant,
and can feel like a personal dig.
It's important to remember though,
that toxic people are often hurtful to everyone
and it's much more reflective of them than it is on you.
It can be really difficult,
but not taking harsh words to heart
can be one of the best ways of dealing with toxic people.
Because most of the time they're just wanting
to stir the pot and cause drama.
In some instances,
tossing up a joke can help lighten the situation
and diffuse the tension.
So next time someone tries
to get an angry reaction from you,
how about ignoring them or throwing a joke back.
And number seven, you change your routine.
Do you find yourself stuck in a rut
of not being able to succeed because of certain people?
For example, maybe you have family members
who create a hostile environment
when you're trying to study for an exam.
If this is something you relate to,
changing your routine may be a way of dealing with this.
Ideally, your family in this example
would be respectful of your boundaries,
but in the instances where they're not,
waking up earlier or going to the library
might help you help yourself.
So there we have it,
seven intelligent ways to deal with toxic people.
Did you find any of these tips helpful?
If so, please let us know in the comment section below.
As always, thank you so much for watching.
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who might also enjoy the video.
And we'll see you next time.