Hey, we have a little surprise for you.
It's coming right now.
Oh.
Hey.
Look who's back.
Yeah.
Where are them babies at?
They're downstairs with my dad,
and he's by himself with them.
This is great, Sona, you,
you have not been on the podcast
since you gave birth to two human beings.
It really hasn't been that long though.
I think it's only been like six weeks.
And you were on the last episode,
something we had pre-recorded,
but it's still so nice to see you.
You look amazing.
You know, this takes the drama all out of it.
It does.
Let me explain to the listener that for us,
we have not seen Sona in eight weeks
or something on the podcast.
We haven't seen you because you gave birth
to two human beings.
Yeah.
Um and you're a mom now,
but because we sometimes shuffle things out of order,
people probably heard you on the podcast last week.
Yeah, right.
Did they, Matt?
I don't know.
Yeah, on the Michael Keaton episode.
Yeah.
So basically, people think you're a terrible mom.
Oh God, come on, do they?
Yeah, the impression out there
is that you gave birth,
and then an hour later started doing commercials
for Fracture and Casper Mattresses or whoever,
Kentucky Fried Chicken.
I'm just naming people
that don't buy ads anymore. Oh my god.
How are you?
I'm good.
I'm all right.
I'm okay.
I don't sleep much, but I think,
you know, that's what everything told me.
Why don't you sleep?
Because there's babies that are,
I have to feed them.
We have to change them.
Right, yes, that's all handled
by others as I remember.
No, no, no, no, no.
How many Yayas are currently
at the household right now?
Actually, that's the problem, is there's no Yayas.
There's a Dada downstairs.
One Dada.
Okay can we use, I'm sorry, we're in America now.
Let me help out here.
Your father.
Yes.
And then, of course a Yaya is a grandmother, of course?
It's a grandmother.
So my,
I love them and I need them,
but they never had a conversation with me about it.
They just started showing up,
like the day after we got back from the hospital,
they just came.
And then uh.
I'm told your mother didn't even use the door.
She walked through the wall
and there's a hole in the wall
that's the shape of your mom.
(Sona laughs)
She just walked right through the wall
and grabbed both babies.
Isn't that true?
Yeah, she walked through like the Kool-Aid man,
and then she just took one of, took the babies.
I don't see them.
And then at night Tak's parents come,
so they're the night shift and then they leave
and then Tak and I take care of,
well, not the night, they take care of the evening.
Yeah, but you're getting a ton of help.
Yeah, we are.
So, do you sleep during the day, maybe?
No, I mean, not really.
No, they're just, I can't like, just turn it off.
They're there and they like need me
and I have to hold them, and I don't know.
You mean, you're not sounding very maternal.
Hasn't clicked in yet, huh.
No.
Hasn't clicked in yet, no.
They need me and I have to hold them.
I just, I'm ready for them to be fun.
They're just like uh,
like drooling and you know,
but they're great.
I like them a lot.
I love them.
I mean, I love them. Sure you do.
Sure you do, what are their names?
Mikey and Charlie.
Yeah, Mikey and Charlie.
I knew that.
I just, I don't want people to think I'm a monster.
I did know that, but I wanted the listening public
to know that it's Mikey and Charlie.
Do they have Armenian middle names?
They do.
What are the middle names?
Charlie's is Krikor and Michael's is Taniel.
Krikor?
Krikor.
It's like Gregory, but it's Krikor.
Krikor.
Yeah.
Just for the record, it's nothing like Gregory.
Yeah, I love how in Armenian you can say,
what's his middle name?
Grebstedielsombrarg.
You know, it's like Tim.
How is that like Tim?
What's his name?
Grobstrangbrindagsodernbanya.
You know, Billy.
Do I miss this?
I don't think you do, you should go.
Do I?
I need to go.
What's that?
They're crying?
Oh no.
They're actually saying, Mama, I need you.
No, I don't hear them crying.
I'm having a baby just to get out of this.
I know, I suspect that
people are faking having babies
just to get away from me,
because I keep hearing Sona, you had these babies,
but I never see any sign of them.
And then I see pictures of you online,
vacationing in different hotspots around the world.
(Matt laughs)
Yesterday, you started, we were on the phone,
you started doing a bit that was annoying.
And I was like, what's that?
I'm pregnant again?
Remember? Yes that's true.
I just, I'm just gonna get pregnant
whenever you annoy me.
Okay, well, you'll set some kind of record.
Listen, I'm worried
you're not getting any sleep at night,
but let me tell you this,
babies until three months, they don't do much, you know?
But then when three months hits,
they're gonna start to lock eyes with you.
Yeah.
Smile.
My kids at three months recognized me.
They were like, oh shit, that's Conan O'Brien.
Wait, they recognized you as their father
or they recognized you as like a public figure,
like a celebrity.
Oh no, they just knew me from the nineties.
They totally recognize. From the nineties.
Yeah, they were like,
oh shit, you know, the early stuff was so good.
The kids, it turns out, were very familiar with my career.
So, long before they knew me as a father,
they knew me as a guy who was on Late Night.
Oh okay.
Yeah, syndicated briefly on CNBC
in the early 2000s.
Um, so right now your Dada, your father.
My dad, their Dada.
Okay.
What do you call him?
Pop.
What?
What's the Armenian way to say father?
Baba.
So you would say, he's your Baba.
He's their Dada.
Yeah.
What do you call a bottle then
if you don't say Baba for a baby?
What?
Matt, what?
Yeah, bottles in my family were Baba.
Wait, what?
Up until two years ago.
Yeah, and sometimes when I really hit the bottle,
it goes back.
What?
Baby bottle, you'd go, Baba.
No, why do you assume, Matt, that everyone said that?
That's just you.
I guess.
What do you mean that's what babies call a bottle?
Babies.
I thought that was something that people did,
that was kind of like Dada, Mama, Baba.
Oh, no.
No.
I don't know.
Okay, well, I'm sorry to have offended you all.
My children were very verbal.
They would say, liquids, please.
And that was at three weeks.
Liquids, please.
For nourishment.
That's what my daughter said at three weeks.
Mm, okay.
And she wore a monocle.