LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FOLKS, OH, FOLKS, I'M SO HAPPY.
YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST AS DR. HOUSE FROM "HOUSE" AND NOW DR.
CHANCE FROM "CHANCE."
PLEASE WELCOME HUGH LAURIE!
♪ HUGH!
♪ HEW!
♪ HEW LAURIE ♪ HUGH
♪ HUGH ♪ HUGH ♪
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: THANKS FOR COMING BACK.
>> IT'S-- IT'S A THRILL.
IT'S AN ABSOLUTE THRILL TO BE BACK.
THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT THAN THE LAST TIME YOU
WERE HERE, BECAUSE THE LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE, YOU WERE HERE FOR
ONE OF OUR LIVE SHOWS.
>> IT WAS THE SECOND-- I BELIEVE IT WAS THE SECOND PRESIDENTIAL
DEBATE.
>> Stephen: RIGHT, RIGHT.
>> I HAD GONE ON THAT EVENING, AND SO YOU DID A LIVE THING.
HOW THE HELL YOU DO THAT, I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
>> Stephen: WELL, YOU WERE THERE.
YOU IT WILY SAT IN WHEN QEER WE EATING-- WE HAD WRITERS IN
THERE.
>> OH, THAT'S WHAT THEY WERE DOING.
I DIDN'T KNOW -- >> Stephen: JUST GROUPIES.
>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST WELCOMING PEOPLE IN OFF THE
STREET.
NO, IT WAS AMAZING.
>> Stephen: I WAS SO GRATEFUL YOU CAME THAT NIGHT BECAUSE
DOING A SHOW LIVE IS MUCH DIFFERENT THAN DOING IT NOW.
THERE'S MORE PRESSURE.
AND YOU WERE DRIVING AROUND A SEG SEGWAY, A LITTLE SEGWAY I
HAD.
I WAS SO GRATEFUL, I SENT ONE OF THOSE TO YOU FOR CHRISTMAS THIS
YEAR.
AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU EVER GOT IT, BECAUSE I NEVER GOT A
THANK YOU NOTE.
( APPLAUSE ) AND BEFORE YOU-- BEFORE YOU
ANSWER.
I KNOW YOU GOT IT, BECAUSE I GOT THE NOTICE THAT IT HAD BEEN
DELIVERED.
THAT'S YOU, HUGH LAURIE, DOWN HERE, BEVERLY HILLS.
AND UP HERE, IT SAYS, "YEAH, YEAH, GOOD NEWS.
IT'S BEEN DELIVERED.
OF TH."SO I GOT YOU A PRESENT TH A LITTLE EARLY.
IT'S STATIONERY.
( APPLAUSE ).
>> AND DOES IT HAVE ANY PARTICULAR--
>> Stephen: YOU DID GET IT, RIGHT?
YOU DID GET IT, RIGHT?
( APPLAUSE ) >> I DID-- I DID-- I HONESTLY--
STEPHEN, I AM HORRIFIED.
>> Stephen: ARE YOU?
>> HORRIFIED BY THIS.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BECAUSE I, IN MY MIND-- AND I LIKE TO INNING REALITY, TOO--
WROTE YOU A LETTER THANKING YOU FOR THIS INCREDIBLY GENEROUS
GIFT.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IT DID NOT REACH YOU?
>> Stephen: UH-HUH...
>> I'LL BE HONEST, I DIDN'T BUY YOU ANYTHING IN RETURN.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> UM-- >> Stephen: YEAR, I NOTICED.
( LAUGHTER ) >> BUT I AM CONVINCED THAT I
WROTE TO YOU, AND IN SORT OF FEBRUARY, AND I CAN'T BELIEVE--
AND I JUST FEEL HORRIBLE.
AND YOU'RE WELCOME TO TAKE BOTH OF MY KIDNEYS NOW.
( LAUGHTER ) AND --
>> Stephen: HOW ARE THEY?
ARE THEY GOOD?
ARE THEY HIGH-QUALITY KIDNEYS?
>> NOT BAD.
I WOULDN'T OFFER YOU THE LIVER.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, GOOD.
>> THAT'S A MESS.
>> Stephen: WE'LL PUT THIS HERE FOR A LITTLE LATER.
>> AND I JUST FEEL LIKE -- >> Stephen: AND YOU DON'T HAVE
TO SEND ME A THANK YOU NOTE FOR THE THANK YOU NOTES.
>> I WILL.
>> Stephen: YOU ABSOLUTELY DON'T NEED TO.
>> I WILL SEND YOU TWO ARAB STALLIONS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO WITH THOSE.
>> Stephen: SOUNDS DELICIOUS.
>> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?
>> Stephen: WHAT WOULD I LIKE?
>> WHAT SIZE ARE YOU IN ARAB STALLION?
( LAUGHTER ) NO--
>> Stephen: I'M A MEDIUM.
>> A MEDIUM.
>> Stephen: I'M A MEDIUM.
A STALLION OF ANY KIND.
DOESN'T HAVE TO BE ARAB.
>> HERE'S THE IMAGE I OF YOU-- MAYBE YOU'VE NEVER DONE THIS.
DO YOU FENCE?
>> Stephen: I DON'T.
BUT I HAVE.
>> YOU HAVE FENCED.
>> Stephen: YES.
>> I CAN PICTURE IT.
>> Stephen: I CAN PICTURE YOU FENCING, TOO.
>> THERE'S SOMETHING CHIVALROUS ABOUT YOU.
I CAN SEE YOU ENGUARD.
-- >> Stephen: ONE OF MY
PRODUCERS, PAUL, I GAVE THEM EPEES FOR HIS BIRTHDAY, AND ALL
WE USED THEM FOR WAS WE WOULD THROW OLD DVDs AND CDs AT
EACH OTHER AND SWAT THEM OUT OF THE AIR WITH THE EPEES.
A WONDERFUL FLASH.
I RECOMMEND IT.
>> DID HE SEND YOU A THANK YOU NOTE?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: HE DID, HE DID.
>> HE KIND OF DID, HUH?
>> Stephen: HE DID.
( APPLAUSE ) ALL THE THANKS I NEED IS THAT
YOU'RE HERE AGAIN.
>> NO, I DON'T THINK THAT'S ENOUGH.
BUT THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT.
>> Stephen: YOU'RE WELCOME.
LAST TIME YOU WERE HERE YOU SAID-- YOU ARE A LITTLE WORRIED
ABOUT DONALD TRUMP PERHAPS BEING ELECTED, BUT YOU GAVE US KIND OF
A HOPEFUL STORY ABOUT THIS CAB DRIVER WHO HAD DRIVEN YOU TO THE
STUDIO THAT NIGHT.
>> THAT'S RIGHT, YES, YES, WHO SAW ALL SORTS OF GOOD THINGS IN
THE FUTURE.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
>> BECAUSE HE TOLD ME-- HE SAID-- HE SAID, "I'M MIDDLE
EASTERN," AND I DIDN'T WANT TO CORRECT HIM, BECAUSE YOU DON'T.
I MEAN, I'M IN HIS CAB.
HE SAID I'M MIDDLE EAST-REN.
AND YOU CAN PROBABLY FROM MY APPEARANCE.
AND I SAID YES.
AND HE SAID, "I CAN SEE A LOT OF OPPORTUNITIES FOR ME PLAYING A
TERRORIST IN TV SHOWS."
>> Stephen: WELL, THAT WAS VERY HOPEFUL.
DID HE KNOW YOU WERE A TV STAR GITOLD HIM-- IT'S THE FIRST
THING I SAY WHEN I GET INTO A CAB.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE ).
>> Stephen: "MY GOOD MAN!" >> I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW.
TAKE THE LONG WAY AROUND.
AND HE SAID-- I SAID, I COULD-- I LOOK LIKE A TERRORIST, DON'T
I?" AND I SAID, HONESTLY, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TERRORISTS LOOK LIKE, BUT, YES, I-- WHAT DO YOU SAY?
BUT ANYWAY HE WAS VERY EXCITED ABOUT THE OPPORTUNITIES THAT
WOULD OPEN UP FOR HIM WHEN HE TRAVELED WEST TO HOLLYWOOD, AND
HE WAS GOING TO MAKE HIS NAME AS A MIDDLE EAT-REN --
>> Stephen: HAVE YOU KEPT IN TOUCH WITH THIS FELLA?
>> WE SEND CARDS, YEAH.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE PLAYED A DOCTOR SO MANY TIMES AT THIS
POINT.
DO YOU HAVE A PRESCRIPTION PAD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?
I COULD USE A LITTLE ZOLOFT.
>> I DO.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE A PRESCRIPTION PAD?
WITH DR. HOUSE'S NAME ON IT OR DR. CHANCE?
>> I HAVE BOTH.
I HAVE A HEFTY SUPPLY OF BOTH.
THEY'RE NOT LEGAL DOCUMENT S.
>> Stephen: FARM SIFTS DON'T KNOW.
>> A PHARMACIST WON'T KNOW THAT.
THAT SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST QUESTION, SAY TO THE PHARMACIST,
"DO YOU GET HULU?
YOU DON'T GET HULU?
I'D LIKE TO FILL THIS, PLEASE."
>> Stephen: SO YOU PLAYED DR. HOUSE FOR EIGHT YEARS.
NOW YOU'RE PLAYING CHANCE.
WHAT'S CHANCE'S FIRST NAME?
>> ELDON.
>> Stephen: ELDON CHANCE.
LET'S GO WITH CHANCE.
DR. CHANCE WHO IS A NEUROPSYCHIATRIST?
>> CORRECT.
>> Stephen: WHAT IS A NEUROPSYCHIATRIST?
>> WELL, A PSYCHIATRIST, OBVIOUSLY, IS MENTAL DISFUNCTION
GENERALLY.
NEUROPSYCHIATRY IS THE FIELD OF PSYCHIATRY ARISING FROM DISEASE
OR TRAUMA TO THE BRAIN AND CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.
YOU HAVE A CAR ACCIDENT AND SUDDENLY DON'T RECOGNIZE YOUR
GRANDMOTHER, OR WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE.
ALTHOUGH, YOU ATTACH NEURO TO ANYTHING, IT SOUNDS GOOD.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
>>ING I THINK OF YOU AS A NEURO-HOST.
IT'S JUST EVERYTHING SOUNDS -- >> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
I HOST A TALK SHOW, BUT I ALSO COULD LOOK IN YOUR BRAIN.
WE HAVE A CLIP HERE FROM THE NEW HULU SHOW.
AND WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS?
>> WHAT'S HAPPENING-- CHARACTERS ARE IN CONFLICT.
IF I REMEMBER.
>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, CHARACTERS ARE IN CONFLICT.
ONE IS A NEUROPSYCHIATRIST.
WE'LL FIND OUT ABOUT THE OTHER.
JIM.
>> LINDSEY, MR. WINTER IS IN A FRAGILE STATE RIGHT NOW.
HE NEEDS CONSTANT MEDICAL SUPERVISION.
IT'S POSSIBLE HE MIGHT HURT HIMSELF OR SOMEONE ELSE.
>> I WILL LODGE A FORMAL COMPLAINT WITH THE STATE MEDICAL
BOARD.
>> I GET IT.
YOU CARE ABOUT HIM.
SO DO I.
WE'RE ON THE SAME SIDE HERE.
>> YOU WILL LOSE YOUR LICENSE, FACE CHARGES.
SHOULD I KEEP GOING?
>> LISTEN, IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HIM, YOU COULD BE HELD
RESPONSIBLE.
>> I AM TRYING MY BEST TO BE CIVIL, DR. CHANCE.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STOP.
>> OR MAYBE I DO, LINDSEY.
>> Stephen: "OR MAYBE YOU DO."
( APPLAUSE ) HUGH, ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO SEE
YOU.
>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH >> Stephen: "CHANCE" IS ON HULU