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Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung.
I'm an attorney, a narcissist negotiation expert and an author.
On this channel, I give you tips and tricks
on how to powerfully negotiate and shift the dynamic
with the most toxic personalities on the planet.
If that is something that you want,
make sure that you subscribe and
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I am breaking down
Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon's divorce in this video.
So, I actually read Mariah Carey's autobiography.
I'm a fan.
I think that she has a beautiful voice and
in a lot of ways,
I think that she's a misunderstood person,
I identify with her in a lot of ways.
She is biracial, I'm also biracial.
I’m half chinese.
She's half African-American and
I know what it's like to grow up where
you don't fit into one world,
you don't fit into another world and
yeah, I know how it's how that is and
she and I are about the same age and
hey, I wish I had her voice but,
she grew up around the same time I did.
So, in a lot of ways,
I identify with some of the things that she had to deal with.
So, she got married very young the first time,
which I did as well.
She got married to Tommy Mottola and
clearly it sounds to me, like it was
a very narcissistic type of control relationship
at least from the way that she describes it.
I mean, she had a very tumultuous
upbringing from what she describes.
Divorce, she was back and forth between her family,
she had siblings much older than she was,
there was a lot going on in her childhood
in a lot of ways, she had to grow up very quickly and
not to say that she was totally a victim and everything,
but, I mean there was a lot going on in there,
was definitely a lot of volatility in her childhood,
so, she got married very young the first time
which I did too, I got married at 19 the first time,
I think she was like 20,
she marries this CEO of Sony Music,
who was very powerful and pretty much
took over her life and everything about her career.
Every way she dressed, literally controlled
almost even every breath she took.
So, she had to escape that and
it was not an easy thing because
she had to escape her career, everything.
So, she gets married again to Nick Cannon,
who is much younger, it's a different dynamic,
a much different relationship,
they definitely had fun together,
she enjoys his company,
they make each other laugh.
She wants to have children,
they both want to have children,
they have children together, they have these twins.
She has these twins kind of at the 11th hour
as far as her age is concerned.
She's like 40 years old, she has twins,
it's a very difficult pregnancy and the thing
honestly with her is that she had trouble trusting.
I mean, even if you watch the Barbara Walter’s interview
she's like, oh, he's a man.
You discover there,
hey, what are you talking about? and
just watching their body language,
I think in some ways she kind of
almost willed it to happen.
I mean not to say that he cheated because, who knows?
But willed the end of the relationship,
she just couldn't really quite trust, and
they had this divorce, which she talks about
in the book as being, like it should have
been an easy divorce, they get along very well.
Now, it did not end up being an easy divorce,
it ended up being several years and
she talks about it being a very emotional divorce.
It ended up taking a couple of years, and
emotions got very high.
Apparently, they're very good friends now,
they celebrate a lot of holidays together,
they co-parent their children together very well.
But here's the thing,
when we talk about the messiest part of the divorce,
what came out after the divorce, and
the twins are now like 11 or something like that,
that she has Bipolar 2 and
she actually talks about how this is something
she has struggled with for a number of years.
She has struggled with it privately and
another very famous couple, by the way,
I've talked about this and the struggles, and
that is Kim and Kanye.
I talked about this in my video,
“Narcissistic red flags Kim and Kanye's marriage”,
which you can check out that video if you want.
Hey, it is tough enough to deal with marriage,
it’s tough enough to deal with marriage
when you have to add in the mix of mental health issues,
then you add in the scrutiny of a lot of press, children...
It makes it very hard and I think that really adds
to the stress and strain of marriage and divorce, and
puts a lot of pressure on these people and
then that does make it very, very messy.
So, I think she was having
a hard time regulating her medication.
She's been, to give her a lot of credit,
she has been pretty open about
the entire situation at this point.
She has come out and said
that she has been battling it.
She apparently was first diagnosed in 2001
when she was hospitalized for
her physical and mental breakdown.
She said she didn't want to believe it,
that she finally sought treatment,
she has lived in constant fear of
that somebody would expose her and
she finally just decided that she was
going to come out and talk about it.
So, I think honestly that has been a huge part of
what caused the messy part of their divorce.
It took two years to finalize,
they had a six years marriage,
they were married in 2008,
the twins were born in 2011,
he filed for divorce in 2014.
The divorce was finalized in 2016.
So, I think the most important thing
when you are dealing with divorce and
when you're dealing with anything difficult,
is to remember that you are whole and complete,
to learn from your mistakes, stand in your power,
to become a better version of yourself and
to forgive yourself, even if you've been
through these messy things, because
we all have messes in our lives,
we've all done things that we're not proud of, and
we've all had stuff that we've had to deal with.
That's just part of living, that's part of being human.
We're all learning from all of this stuff,
so, hey, it's okay, right?
We move forward.
We become whole, we become complete.
We stand in our power, and we become
bigger better versions of ourselves as a result.
As always, if you are getting ready to negotiate,
you are welcome to grab my free
“Crush my negotiation” prep worksheet
at winmynegotiation.com,
you are always welcome to join my free support group
at “Narcissist Negotiators with Rebecca Zung”
on Facebook.
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Drop me that comment. Give me that “Amen”.
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as always, today is a great great day to start negotiating your best life.
Thanks for joining me today.
I will see you in the next video.