Some people say you're a just... They say you're not a smart guy.
You're just a really dumb guy who talks fast and uses big words.
I'm really sick of this nonsense. You know, I'm a big fan of Ben Shapiro.
I think he puts his words very eloquently and in a way that it makes it hard for
people to come back at it because logically makes so much sense.
But in this interview he makes a mistake multiple times.
He does a lot of things right, like he always does.
But there's a mistake that I want to point out that I'm sure he'll improve with
over the years as things continue. You know,
he has so many repetitions of this cause.
He goes on so many shows and get so much experience doing it,
but it is a mistake he continues to make and it might be a little bit
challenging for him because for the same reason he's able to rapid fire respond
to these questions in such an eloquent way. He's in his head.
He's always thinking through the next thing to say,
which does it enable him to just kind of be in the energy of the group and ride
that. So in this video,
I'm going to break down what he does well against Logan Paul and the guy who
actually does more talking than Logan Paul,
but also point out the things that he can improve upon and notice in your own
life. Do you ever do this? A lot of people make the same mistake he does,
but a lot of people aren't on a national stage. Ikea's every single day.
Let's roll this footage and we can watch the takes and then I'll break it down
and explain to you what's going on.
Not even the sanity situation, not even true.
I mean maybe makes you, maybe it helps you prove it could. It could. Who knows?
Let's see. My, my only point is I think when, when we like, you know,
lock it away and I'm alright. That's the first thing I want you to notice.
And this is very subtle,
but this is very important because this is a point that most people don't
understand. And it's a concept around pinging.
Pinging just means you're looking at other people in their eyes to basically
gauge their reaction to be sure that what you're doing is socially appropriate,
so the less competent the person,
the more they'll be pinging off the environment.
Have you ever noticed people who are not very confident,
we'll constantly be looking around, especially after they tell a joke,
look around to be sure people think it's funny. Now,
one thing Ben Shapiro typically does very well is he doesn't Ping.
He doesn't look at people and that's why this caught my eye right away because
after he says this little thing, he's looking over at Logan, then I'll be it.
He was directing his comment at Logan,
but this is one of the few times he pings.
The reason I start out with this is because for you,
I want you to notice when you're around people,
how much more do you ping or look them in the eye to gauge their response.
When you feel like your, the equal status is them or higher status,
like maybe you their kids or maybe someone's working for you versus someone who
has higher status than you.
How much more are you doing that because that's a tell to have the other person
subconsciously that you think they're of higher status when you continually look
at them like that.
So don't do that unless you want to be slotted as lower status.
And before we get into this second one,
I do want to say I'm kind of being tough on Shapiro in this video.
This is a two hour video and I'm picking a lot this stuff I think he could
improve on cause I think that's how you can learn.
But you can also learn a lot from what he does, right?
So basically the whole two hours he's doing things very very right.
So if you want,
I'd encourage you to watch the actual video if you want to see that too.
Cause if you've never seen this dude in action, it's pretty incredible.
Are you cool with the cancel culture or the the woke Twitter left coming
together to boycott business based on their non desire to serve transgenders or
gay 100% right. To do 100% right to do that. I may disagree with the boycott,
right? I May, I may think the boycott is based on your,
based on your political shirts, they have every right to do that.
And in fact I think that that's a good part of American discourse.
So you would have bought, you would applaud that. Like take a ticket,
a race example. Did you catch that right there?
So what this guy was trying to do was to basically suck Shapiro into saying
something a step further than what he wanted to. So he says, cause Shapiro says,
yeah, that's fine. And then he goes, you would applaud that.
So you would applaud, you would applaud, I think, right?
Kind of in the Nice cadence of the conversation.
So what are most people going to do?
People who are thinking about the next thing they're going to say they're gonna
be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then how Shapiro going to be quoted,
Ben Shapiro says he would applaud this and this and this and that may actually
not be his thoughts. So notice that Shapiro, this is very subtle.
A lot of people wouldn't have noticed this.
Shapiro doesn't respond to that at all. He just acts like he didn't hear it.
Trust me, he heard it. A guy at this level, here's everything.
But notice how all he does is goes on with his thought as if he didn't hear it.
And this does two things. Number one,
it prevents him from having to agree with something he doesn't agree with.
But number two,
it's really tough for the guy to ask that question to go back because he did say
it in passing. So his strategy of saying it in passing,
which most people are just going to ride into like, yeah, yeah, yeah,
it works for that. But then if it's ignored,
how weird would it be if you went back and said, oh, so,
so would you applaud that or not? Then he sounds like a Weirdo for going back.
So really it's kind of a one trick pony.
And he can't go back and reiterate it to try to hold Shapiro's feet to the fire.
But it works a lot of times that you don't have to do that because most people
are just going to go along with it.
Cause it's something that they were kind of four in the past and he just took it
one step further. They'll meet, cause again I think these are the best,
but you have 100% right to do that. I may disagree with the boycott. Okay.
So he says they have a right, let's go, let's go back and get into this deeper.
They have a right to do it.
I may disagree with the boycott and then the guy comes on and says,
so you would applaud that. So actually it was a bigger step than what I thought.
But notice that once again, how he, how he handles it.
I may think the boycott is based on your, based on your political shirts.
They have every right to do that.
And in fact I think that that's a good part of American discourse.
So you would have a lot, you would applaud.
I think I saw that like take take a race example because again I think just
keeps going on those answers. You are not smarter than Thomas Jefferson.
You're not a product of Thomas Jefferson's time.
He didn't live in 1770 do you live in 2019 and if you think that you would've
thought like, yeah, do you see right there? That's a little competence.
Just enough to talk over people.
Now Shapiro has a nice balance of that and if someone interrupts him with a good
point, it's not like he'll always talk over him.
I actually saw an interview with Neil to grassy on the Joe Rogan show.
I think that's how I say his name and I actually like his demeanor,
but he just keeps talking over Rogan.
Maybe I'll try to throw a clip in here real quick.
[inaudible] these things have Europeans didn't come to. Yeah,
there's a lot of [inaudible] in Harry Potter. I understand. Okay. That is,
it's just so annoying.
You have to know when to talk over people and basically if your point is strong
and you have something strong to finish that you want to fit in,
it's good to talk over people.
If people are just trying to bulldoze you to show social status,
it's good to talk over people.
If your point is basically already been made and someone else is coming with an
honest thought, then it's good to let them talk over you.
That's kind of a good benchmark for you.
Then what's your favorite cereal? Uh, okay. I'm going to go off the board here.
You write for this Chris Becks. Whoa.
The hexagons, right? Yeah, that's right. They're the ones down there.
They're half corn checks and half rice checks and they're not available anywhere
and I ordered them in bulk from, from Amazon. Yeah. No, I'm not kidding.
It is the right thing slightly doesn't surprise me.
Surprise because it's the most boring of noxious cereal by world.
That'd be it right there.
That's a great example of self zipper,
deprecate of humor and it's funny too, right?
He's got no problem poking jokes, especially at the facade.
So especially at what people yuck it up. They say something about,
and maybe if some guy's known to be fact and he makes a fat joke about himself.
It's really well timed and it's really funny and a lot of times when you
position yourself as a very high social status person,
that self-deprecation goes a lot further.
If you have lower status and you that you just look like somebody who's trying
to be supplicative to everybody, but the higher your status,
the more you can pepper in that self-deprecation,
which actually makes you more relatable and it shows people you're not just
pompous and arrogant.
I don't know why that slightly doesn't surprise and surprise because it's the
most boring of Nakia cereal box. That'd be my dad. My Dad was a fan of these.
Always had the Christmas. The, the, the,
the fundamental thing that is different about dating when you're orthodox is
obviously you're dating for marriage. So for, so for me it was your,
you're looking for shared values. [inaudible] I mean,
we were talking about kids like what,
how you would raise kids on the first date and you do that on normal for states
in the Orthodox community that more so as a strategy to uh,
give them hope. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I mean, yes,
yes. But also like,
all right, so here's an example. The first example,
and this is one that is a bit more of a stretch.
There's more direct examples of this. But Logan Paul, he makes a joke.
Shapiro basically, as you heard, says he was very serious about getting married.
So they talked about raising kids in the first date.
Logan Paul says he does that just to show the girl that there's hope that
there'll be dating a long term. So it's a joke.
So whether you think that joke is funny or not, he's trying to lighten the mood,
which is a positive because this is getting very serious and his audience isn't
necessarily that interested in political discourse.
So he's trying to lighten the mood. Shapiro kind of gives a courtesy laugh.
He doesn't think it's that funny. Maybe.
I don't know what his thoughts are on it,
but he just goes silent and I think this is a good example.
Even if he didn't think that joke is funny,
throw in a comment just to relate and be like, you know,
everyone's got different dating strategies to even show that you have different
thoughts on that. But I think he kind of isolate,
isolate himself and he just kind of gets quiet and look at his body language.
He'll tuck in here at a little bit.
I think if he would just ride that energy and realize, you know, the,
he's with some younger guys, some Brody type of guys,
that doesn't mean you can't relate to them just cause they have different
thoughts than you.
I think that's something that he could do that would make people feel like he
fits in, in this environment a little bit more.
And we all love the fantasize about what could be. Huh? Uh, like, like Doug,
tell me you haven't gone on a first date and you're like, Yo,
how crazy would it be if we got married? I generally don't say this is,
and this is our first day and we get to tell them this story, right?
But I don't do it to give them a hope. I'm like making sure this chick,
he just kind of freezes up. They're not crazy. Do you,
do you think that that uh, allegiance to your, uh,
and the thing is by him doing that causes this guy to get sucked right back in
to that. Very serious for him. You can even hear Logan Paul. He's like, Whoa,
what? Anyway, when he goes back into that, he was trying to lighten it up.
So I think a very advanced social move would of him just to been to pepper in a
few things. Like, man, everyone's got different philosophies on dating.
What is it like here? Dayton and la? Ask Him a question.
Let him ride that energy. Cause the energy got lighter for a minute.
But because Shapiro is kind of in this instance, like the dark hole,
sucking it back in his frame,
he has a very strong frame and that's why this guy got sucked for,
I'd been okay. But back to the interview questions right away.
I think it would have been nice if he could've rode that light energy for more
maybe 2030 seconds and then gone back.
And I'm really sick of this nonsense where,
because I acknowledge that I have been privileged to have good things happen to
me in my life. You know,
listen to the way he expresses himself in a hot button issue.
He's clearly emotionally reactive to this,
but he doesn't go off the cuff,
but he expresses just enough emotion to get your attention and realize this is
not just another response to irregular question.
I'm actually gonna let his whole response play here and, and, and notice here,
I'm sure you can hear it yourself, but just,
just so you can kind of pick it out.
He basically says that this guy before the interview,
some girl that he was with said,
tell Shapiro to check his white man's privilege at the door and it makes them
angry. And so many people, when they hear something that makes them angry,
they go so on tilt and show so much emotional reactivity that it makes them look
low status. Or if you have no emotion of activity,
then you don't get your point across and show people it's an important issue to
you. So Shapiro does a really nice job of walking the line of, of uh,
picking it up a notch,
but not being out of control and swearing and swinging his arms.
Watch this reaction here.
We did, we took questions from Twitter and one, one of the girls, uh, said, um,
I'm worried to watch this. And she said, just make sure he checks his privilege.
So, you know, I'm not shit, I'm sorry.
Like if you want to tell me that I am privileged,
there are certain ways in which I am privileged.
There's certain ways in which we are all privileged, frankly.
And the level of privilege obviously differs by your life story, right? Like,
I thank God, my biggest privilege, I grew up in a stable two parent household.
That is my number one privilege. My parents are wonderful, wonderful people.
Right?
That is my number one privilege and I grew up in a pretty solidly middle class
household for most of my childhood. I mean when I was,
until I was 11 we were living in like an 1100 square foot house.
I had three younger sisters.
I shared a room with all of my siblings and we had one bathroom for six people.
There wasn't like we grew up loaded or anything,
but it is a privilege to live with two parents who love you, take care of you,
provide for you,
share a set of values that the greatest PR it is the most important propulsion
in America,
a hundred percent run well because the administration was a problem because the
rules were set differently, so it allows that change, right? As well.
More freedom is better, more choices, better and this is a good thing, right?
It's forces those systems to have to adapt and change. [inaudible] specialty.
He's been working on education doc for the past six years.
You have to do a cross country tour.
He's met with some of the biggest educators, legislators in the education space,
so this is, this is right up his alley. Yeah, I mean I, this is,
this is super important stuff. Yeah.
Okay. What did you notice right there?
Can you pick something out that he did in Craig? This is the biggest blunder,
I think, in the whole, in the whole interview.
So this guy's given the guy in the orange headband props.
They're talking about school systems and voucher systems and he's basically
like, this guy guy's dedicating his life to this.
He's met with all these people. Shapiro doesn't even acknowledge it.
How easy would have it been to be like, oh man, that's really cool.
This is right in your wheelhouse, or just some sort of like, cool man.
Shapiro doesn't even acknowledge it and I don't think it's because he's trying
to be rude. He's just in his head thinking facts. What can I say?
This is the next thing I need to say, not writing the energy again,
if he could back off.
This is another kind of example of when Logan Paul made that joke and he wasn't
riding the energy. So this is a subtle nuance. This one's not as subtle,
but I just think to really elevate him to the next social level,
if he's more of the energy and makes his decisions based on that at least a
little bit, you know,
there's only maybe three or four times in this whole two hour interview,
he could have done that, but it would have made a big difference.
I guarantee like something like this, this guy,
imagine something that you basically dedicate your life to do and some big name
like Ben Shapiro, even if it's not like an idol of his comes on, it's like,
that's really cool man. You know, we look at it this way,
they have a conversation about that and he's like, man, that bitch a pure guy.
I met him. He's great. Versus now.
I bet if somebody asked this guy what he thinks of Ben Shapiro, is he like,
yeah, he's a smart dude and I probably not, dude, I'd hang out with.
It's so easy to be likable when you do the right things.
The easy things and all Shapiro would've had to do right now is acknowledge the
fact that this guy's a specialist to say, cool,
this guy spends 15 hyping them up and Shapiro just completely ignores it.
So watch it back and think in your head next time that happens.
How you can just say something like, that's really cool man.
What are your thoughts on this?
I'm interested if you've been spending all my time, you met with these people.
Cool. Who Have you met with? That's awesome. I met with some people too.
Just anything to get the conversation going to acknowledge that is a good thing,
right? It's forces those systems to have to adapt and change happen.
Spencer's specialty,
he's been working at the education doc for the past six years.
It's got to do a cross country tour.
He's met with some of the biggest educators, legislators in the education space,
so this is, this is right up his alley. I mean I, this is,
this is super important stuff when you're talking about increasing opportunity
for people that spends 15 seconds hyping them up and Shapiro doesn't acknowledge
it.
No can [inaudible] international interests did not change because he sent you a
nice letter.
He's an evil dictator who's keeping millions of people in a gulag and he has an
interest in maintaining his power source by developing nuclear weapons and
missiles.
I mean th th that that has not changed just because you're nice to him.
So Dennis Rodman and go exactly by Ben.
At the same token when Trump says about him,
like he's another example right there. This is the last example of that.
So he tries to make a Dennis Rodman joke, right? To kind of lighten it up.
Cause this is a podcast and usually they have different types of guests on there
so everyone can cut a tell it's getting very serious and they want to make it
lighter. So he makes a Rodman joke. And what does Shapiro do?
Just completely ignores it. Why? Because he has more to say.
So in that instance,
if he would have made some sort of joke or even acknowledge, it's not even hard.
You don't even have to pretend like you think a joke is funny or not.
You're just acknowledging the other person.
And if he was thinking about this from a really stand back perspective,
he'd be like, okay, maybe these guys are trying to lighten it up a little bit.
Let's talk about, let's talk about some lighter things. Let's make a few jokes.
Let's talk about Rodman for a meal. It's talk about my thoughts on Rodman.
Just anything to acknowledge it because when you totally ignore,
when people pepper things in, it makes them feel unheard. And in this instance,
Shapiro didn't realize they were trying to lighten the mood a bit by developing
nuclear weapons and missiles. I mean,
th th that that has not changed just because you're nice to him.
So or not Dennis Rodman. Exactly that by Beth. At the same token,
when Trump says about him, like you freaking out. Thank you bro.
Thank you for coming on. Thanks for having, I am actually of course, man.
I wish I could've spoke more, but it's okay now.
I know it's this kind of your thing. I enjoyed listening to you. So that's that.
I thought that was kind of weird. I mean it's not like,
I don't think that was too pre-calculated,
but he basically said I didn't get to talk because it's Kinda your thing to just
talk the whole time. Um, oh yeah. One quick question.
Some people say you're uh, just [inaudible]. They say you're not as smart guy.
You're just a really dumb guy who talks fast and uses big words.
And then I think it's weird that he wanted to end it with like a very negative
question. Like typically, you know, the old, the old adage,
you want to leave people on a high note.
So like in a conversation you always want to leave when emotions are good and
you say something people like and laugh, but he's ending it, number one,
cracking at him saying, you know, it's Kinda your thing to talk the whole time.
What do you say to people that basically say you're a dummy? I don't,
I don't like that.
I think they could've definitely lightened it up and left on more of a high.
What do you say to those people? Do even acknowledge that comment?
What's the metric by the way? I mean,
are we doing metric by like IQ or just like,
let me tell you a quick story that pertains to this.
I just got back from an event and I was talking to a guy who found out I was a
social coach and he was just telling me he hates things like this where where
you're at because he never knows what to say.
When he goes up to people to start a conversation with strangers,
he always runs out a small talk and they just kind of end up, they're kind of,
you know that old man rock where he just kind of rock on your toes and it gets
awkward. I was like, man,
that's a terrible feeling because these events are supposed to be fun.
If this is something you want to improve in,
I've got a program called the social invincibility program. Well, personally,
walk you through the steps that you need to become competent in this.
If you've been following the channel for awhile,
you might be interested to know,
I've got a new video up explaining the program at one that I had up was so old.
I finally recorded another one.
So you go to social invincibility.com or you can touch or click up here.
I'll put a link in the description below if you want to learn more about how to
get those conversation skills up to snuff. Now you see this video right here.
If you haven't, I highly suggest to touch. You're watch it right now.
I'll talk to you there.